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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New Neighbours are inconsiderate

40 replies

Lorddenning1 · 21/01/2019 13:48

I live in a terrace mews type property, generally we cant hear anyone next door, sometimes next door to the right sons going up stairs is the most we hear). Just before Christmas i get new neighbours to the left of me, a man, a women and a baby, around a couple of months old, they are also an Indian Family (dont even think this is relevant).
From the moment they have moved in, they have been really loud, banging and talking really loud, the other day it was that bad i thought one of the kids had got out of bed and was walking around upstairs, but it wasnt, it was them next door. I would say i was quite a laid back neighbour and although I dont like the noise, i cant dictate what someone does in their house however i do have a problem with them continuing to do it after 11pm.

They tend to be quiet all day and then by nightime they come alive, examples of what they do,,,,,, come home from going out at 1am and talk to each other really loudly on the path outside, sometimes shouting from the car to the house. They bang alot, and shout at each other all hours of the night. Last night they woke my baby up as they were drilling at 1.00am and he wouldnt settle back to sleep, his room is next door to theirs. it got so bad and i was that angry that i banged back on the wall, which then the drilling stopped. But i could still here them shouting loudly.
AIBU to think they should be a little more considerate of others, especially as i have young children and i work full time.
I have thought about blasting my music/TV first thing in the morning to see how they like it, but i dont want a war, i just want to have a peaceful easy Life. I am a single mum of 2 and lived in my house for 10 years.
I was thinking of putting a note through the door asking them to be a little quieter in the evenings, do I have a right to ask this and is this reasonable?
What would you lot do?

OP posts:
Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 21/01/2019 13:51

Print off a copy of the acceptable noise hours. I believe the council have altered it now to quiet between 9 pm and 8 pm. Previously 11pm - 7 am.
My area anyway.
Knock, welcome them to the street, hand the letter over (in envelope), smile and walk away.
If it continues then keep a diary and ring the Council.
My ds is currently going through similar. It sucks.

brownjumper · 21/01/2019 13:53

a) why is the fact that they are Indian relevant?
b) have you tried knocking on their door and asking them to be more considerate in a nice and friendly way ?

RitaConnors · 21/01/2019 13:54

It’s unreasonable of them to be doing DIY at 1am and to be yelling on the path at nighttime.

I don’t know what I’d do about it though and I know what you mean about not wanting to start a war. Maybe use their baby as a way of starting a conversation with them. You can ask about the baby I mean. Then you can gauge how reasonable they might be.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/01/2019 13:54

You've shot yourself in the foot by mentioning that you think they are Indian, even though you acknowledge that this isn't relevant.

I'd go round and ask them to keep it down between 9pm and 8am, I wouldn't leave a note, just talk to them!

Racecardriver · 21/01/2019 13:54

You have to have a chat with them.

Oddsocksandmeatballs · 21/01/2019 13:56

If you don't want a war just speak to them.

StrongTea · 21/01/2019 13:57

If you are quiet, they may not realise how much you hear them.

letsdolunch321 · 21/01/2019 13:58

I would definitely drop a note throw the door. It is unnecessary to be drilling at 1am also shouting/talking loudly when outside.

Good luck

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 21/01/2019 14:12

The reason i mentioned the fact that they are Indian is it might of been relevant, i dont know any Indian people. Really there is nothing in it, i am a person to accept anyone from all walks of life, whether its religion race etc
From what I have heard from the people who own the house is the lady is on maternity leave at the minute and i am not sure what he does for a living. They do go out late at night quite a lot, obviously with the baby, who doesnt seem that old.
I have walked down my path the same time they have and we have exchanged Hellos, they seem to be quite nice and friendly, so i dont want to come across as a nightmare neighbour either. The only other thing that i find quite strange and maybe one of the reasons why they can be loud is, they have all their upstairs windows open, full way, even last week and they are was ice on the ground, it must of been freezing in there.

OP posts:
SaturdayNext · 21/01/2019 14:26

You do need to talk to them. If they're shouting outside at 1 a.m., can you call out of the window to ask them to keep the noise down?

MikeUniformMike · 21/01/2019 14:36

OP has stated that she doesn't think the neighbours' race is an issue.
If they were noisy outside at 1 a.m. I'd stick my head out of the window and say you are trying to sleep but I would keep a record and contact the council.
The details of who to contact at the council will be on the website. It's probably under Anti-social behaviour.

Greatorb · 21/01/2019 14:39
  1. Knock on their door
  2. Invite them around for coffee
  3. ????
  4. Profit
Sparklesocks · 21/01/2019 14:43

It might be they aren’t aware of how loud they are or how their noise travels. It might be worth just knocking, introducing yourself and just gently letting them know you can hear them at night and could they be more aware of their noise. I find that approach can be more effective than a note, which can appear faceless and pass agg (even if not intended!) and maybe escalate things.

If it continues then you can explore other options, and maybe go to the council, as you have politely already given them the opportunity to improve.

AdaColeman · 21/01/2019 14:44

If speaking to them politely about them keeping the noise down doesn't work, complain to their landlord.

Bluelady · 21/01/2019 14:47

Please don't stick a note through their door. Talk to them.

howmanyusernames · 21/01/2019 14:52

Their noise is unacceptable, BUT, unless you speak to them you won't resolve it, will cause bad feelings and it will then never get resolved.

My dog recently died, after 13 years, leaving my other dog alone and upset. She now has separation anxiety, and we have spoken to the vets several times, changed our working hours to try and be with her, and even paid £180 for a dog behaviourist to come see her.
One neighbour has put two notes through our door telling us to 'control the dog' and said they will report us, and that we aren't good owners. He has even gone round to our neighbour the other side to complain to them, and asked them what 'they' can do about it. For the record we won't leave her for more than an hour, and might do that every 6-8 weeks, but have also been advised by the dog behaviourist to leave her for periods so she gets used to us leaving and coming back.
IF he had knocked my door and spoken to me I would have kept him up to date with the progress, but he didn't. If you understand why something is happening you can both be more understanding.
I didn't complain to his landlord when he had a party on New Years Eve from 6pm - 3am, which kept my 1 year old awake!

ree348 · 21/01/2019 14:57

Ahh I think them being indian is relevant here. I'm also indian but born here however some Indians from certain parts of India tend to be quite loud and just aren't aware how loud they are! It's a cultural thing really, like how some Italians can be quite loud and gesticulate.

I'm sure if you ask them politely to keep their voices down and make them aware of the councils quiet zone timings things will change. They probably just don't have a clue!

BrightStarrySky · 21/01/2019 14:57

Just talk to them.

Blobby10 · 21/01/2019 14:59

They might simply not realise how loud voices sound at night!! I frequently have to shush my other half when we leave the house at 5.30am as he WILL talk at normal levels which sounds so loud in the quiet of early morning!!

Ultramic · 21/01/2019 15:00

Definitely don't do the note thing.

Go round, smile, chat, ask how they're settling in, and bring up that you've been woken up and your DC has been woken. Ask them if they could be quieter from 10pm-7am.

Keep a diary of the noise on what dates/times and note what date you speak to them, so if they keep making noise you have some evidence of their noise disturbance for the council to intervine.

But yes, definitely try the knocking on door approach first! A written note will come across as passive agressive and unfriendly.

OnwardsAndUpwards10 · 21/01/2019 15:00

Speak to them face to face. Notes through doors and banging on walls will only aggravate them. I think you will find having an adult conversation about it will probably be much more effective. Been there, done that.

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 21/01/2019 15:10

thanks everyone, I thought the talking face to face was likely to feel more confrontational than a note, but im also a wimp lol
Well i nearly did get my dressing gown on last night and stomp down their path to knock on their door to say WTF over the drilling at 1.00am, i mean what could be so important to be drilling at that time, why are they not asleep, what about their own child.
I think im a good neighbour, i will take parcels and watch out for the blind guy who lifts next door but one to me etc but bloody this is taking the mick. I get on with the people who own the house and they told me a Letting agency is managing the property.

OP posts:
PollardOrPolluck · 21/01/2019 15:13

OP, of course their noise disturbing you is unpleasant and have a polite word with them about it. Just bear in mind that with you having a baby will disturb them, early morning crying, screaming in the night when teething ect, there's always a bit of give and take that comes with terraced housing.

Juells · 21/01/2019 15:18

I'm surrounded by Indian people where I live, and they're all very quiet. So your neighbours' noise can't be down to cultural reasons, they're just inconsiderate.

Juells · 21/01/2019 15:19

there's always a bit of give and take that comes with terraced housing.

Not that much give and take!

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