New Neighbours are inconsiderate

[Lorddenning1]

I live in a terrace mews type property, generally we cant hear anyone next door, sometimes next door to the right sons going up stairs is the most we hear). Just before Christmas i get new neighbours to the left of me, a man, a women and a baby, around a couple of months old, they are also an Indian Family (dont even think this is relevant).
From the moment they have moved in, they have been really loud, banging and talking really loud, the other day it was that bad i thought one of the kids had got out of bed and was walking around upstairs, but it wasnt, it was them next door. I would say i was quite a laid back neighbour and although I dont like the noise, i cant dictate what someone does in their house however i do have a problem with them continuing to do it after 11pm.

They tend to be quiet all day and then by nightime they come alive, examples of what they do,,,,,, come home from going out at 1am and talk to each other really loudly on the path outside, sometimes shouting from the car to the house. They bang alot, and shout at each other all hours of the night. Last night they woke my baby up as they were drilling at 1.00am and he wouldnt settle back to sleep, his room is next door to theirs. it got so bad and i was that angry that i banged back on the wall, which then the drilling stopped. But i could still here them shouting loudly.
AIBU to think they should be a little more considerate of others, especially as i have young children and i work full time.
I have thought about blasting my music/TV first thing in the morning to see how they like it, but i dont want a war, i just want to have a peaceful easy Life. I am a single mum of 2 and lived in my house for 10 years.
I was thinking of putting a note through the door asking them to be a little quieter in the evenings, do I have a right to ask this and is this reasonable?
What would you lot do?

what ree348 says
some cultures are just louder - that is in no way a criticism. my neighbours of nearly 25 years are turkish, they always have lots of visitors, they talk really loudly outside the house both in the garden and out the front when their guests are leaving, I can hear them arguing with their teenage son frequently - he comes in late at night and slams the door so hard it shakes my house!!
my house is dead quiet - there is only me here. we live in terraced victorian houses.
But if they were to move out, i would be devastated. They are lovely neighbours, always take in parcels as i work, better than a burglar alarm, we have watched each others kids grow up literally. and she always knocks with food for me (and did so frequently when my husband died)
speak to them, they may not even realise they are being noisy.

My neighbours are a bit like this - they're a large family and they tend to get up ultra-early, even at weekends, and do their maintenance stuff before 9am. I don't think they realise how loud they're being or that I can hear them, as I live alone and am very quiet, so they probably don't hear anything from me and therefore assume that the noise doesn't carry. But I value other things about them, such as their willingness to keep the communal areas tidy, and so far I've dealt with the noise by just wearing earplugs. However, that's no good if you have a baby.

I would choose speaking to them over leaving notes every time - you don't have to be aggressive or confrontational, just pop round with a packet of biscuits or something, introduce yourself as their new neighbour, then gently mention that you can hear them when they're doing DIY at 1am! I wouldn't imagine they'll be funny with you, but if they are and they refuse to moderate the noise, you can go down the route of reporting to the council.

If they are Indian that might be relevant, actually - have you ever watched the India news channel on Sky? Everybody on there shouts all the time!

We were the noisy neighbours once. DH had been insulating the cellar ceiling and working after kids were in bed., I was sitting in the room directly above him could just hear a light occasional thump but after day 5 our neighbour came over frothing at the mouth about how it was unacceptable. Sound does funny things and was basically amplified on their end and had been driving them mad all week. We were of course mortified as we had no idea as couldn't hear anything ourselves. The main lesson is just say something before it becomes a big thing.

If they are arses about it, then come back and start a new thread :D

As someone who has nightmare neighbours please just go in and talk to them. My neighbours complained directly to my landlord rather than coming in to speak to me (in regards to my dogs noise) and when I pulled them up about this and other issues it did end up in confrontation. So just go in and say “Hi, welcome to the area! I know you’re in the process of moving in but I have young children next door and you’ve woken them now on a few occasionas, myself included. If you could bear in mind that we are attached and just try and keep it down after 9pm as the kids are in bed I’d honestly really appreciate it. Any problems or if you need to know anything about the area then I’m next door for friendly advice! Hope you enjoy your new house”

Or something along the line of that. It’s not hostile and you’ve left it rather open and friendly (assuming they might not know the area it might be nice to have a friendly face) and then if it continues I’d try again with a little firmer conversation but keeping a note of it, then send them a letter (keep a copy of it with the date) and then continue to keep note. Eventually I’d speak to their letting agent, council and then the noise team which will report to the landlord/letting agent which is more official. Can you tell I’ve done this before?

I don't think you are being unreasonable myself.

But what I can never understand is why the neighbours on the other side or nearby don't seem to be bothered in any of these accounts of noise?

OP, have you spoken to any neighbours to see if the noise affects them also in any way? Just a thought, as you said you live in a terrace.

Even if you’re usually a wimp, force yourself to walk round to their door and have a word with them. You’ll be proud of yourself once you’ve done it. Banging on walls is just going to make for a hostile relationship and if you’re quiet they genuinely may not realise how the sound travels and how much you can hear. The drilling in the middle of the night isn’t on though.

the neighbour next door to them is a blind man and he must hear them too, he doesnt ever answer the door when i have knocked on the door in the past, perhaps he doesnt answer his door due to him feeling a little vulnerable etc and only answers to scheduled visitors. His mum and dad used to live across the road from him but they have past away now, he does have visitors from time to time, so he might mention it to them.
I totally understand the give and take bit, i have 2 noisy children and 2 dogs who bark, but i never allow them to stay in the garden and bark non stop, i am aware that would annoy people. Like i said i have ,lived here 10 years and never had any problems before.

Yeap, in my youth, we were the noisy neighbours too. As nobody complained we assumed the walls were well insulated, until a new neighbour came over and complained. We were mortified and kept the noise down after that.

It is difficult, my next door neighbours have wooden floors, blinds etc there is nothing to absorb noise. I live in an old house but can hear them sneezing !! the husband who I get on with thinks nothing of scraping the walls at 10pm redecorating or sawing copper pipes. I knocked on and asked him not to do DIY after 9pm, he was ok with it but the wife ignores me now !! 1am is ridiculous.

It could be a culture thing. I'm in an apartment block, 98% of the building are Indian families.
They have their own community here, frequently going in and out of one another's apartments so a lot of activity here. They are very loud in conversation, slam doors, lots of shouting down corridors to one another. This goes on at all hours. Seemingly no discipline of their children who are constantly screaming/crying/running around the building/banging on walls and playing on fire escapes to name a few things.
We and another neighbour tried to raise the noise nuisance and was told they wasn't going to stop and we should accept their culture.
Hope you sort your issue OP, is a nightmare when you cannot relax in your own home

OP I had next door neighbours from India until fairly recently. They were absolutely lovely people but they were very noisy and the two children would be running around playing at 11 and 12 at night which we found very odd as they were preschool age.

Bedtimes aren’t a big thing in India. My (Indian) MIL thought that putting s child to bed at 8 was child abuse 🙄. So that may explain why they are out and about so late despite having a child. But you can’t really assume that the loudness is cultural. They probably just don’t realise how loud they are. Especially if they have previously only lived in detached houses. Go over a let them know.

I also have a very noisy neighbour and have been round to complain. There’s a family living there but one is basically deaf and thinks it’s okay to play the TV on volume 100. I have to get up 4.30/5.30 for work and appreciate that’s not their problem but asked them if they could turn it down around 9.30. Was a nice chat, we then spoke about other things etc. 2 weeks later it was back on full blast. Went round again and now they moan that my dog barks (they also have a yappy dog so pointless). I don’t care about day to day noise (they shout not talk) the dog barking, the tv in the day, but I would like to not hear their living room tv in my upstairs bedroom that’s not even directly above the living room. I now bang on the walls and honestly don’t give a f, if they want to be rude I can be too 🙃.

How the hell do you know they are Indian and not:
Pakistani
Bangladeshi
Sri Lankan
Or from any other country where medium dark skinned ppl may originate from?
Please op, whatever you do, do it in a friendly non-confrontational way. No letters or threats.