To ask those who grew up in London if they think they had a good childhood

[wolive]

We are having the usual debate about whether to move out of London now that we have two young DC - for more space, fresh air etc. We love our part of London, but DH and I both grew up in small villages with plenty of space and freedom and I always imagined the same kind of childhood for my kids. I worry about them growing up too quickly.

If you grew up in London (or another big city), do you think you missed out as city kids? And would you raise your own kids in a city or did you escape to the countryside?

Grew up on a high rise council estate in central. It was shit. Violence, drugs, gangs. If you have money then I’d imagine life would be great with all the city has to offer. If however, like me, you had nothing it’s really shit. Everything’s expensive and there wasn’t anything to do, and because of the dangers of the estate we weren’t really allowed out anyway.
I’m not raising my kids in London. Financially I couldn’t give them the same standard of life. For instance the price I pay for my daughters dance class per term is the same price as 2 classes where I lived in London and where I am now there is a lot of community led free activities and in general people are friendlier (something I really struggled with at first, I’m a hard nosed, head down, don’t look Londoner). I really miss the diversity of London though and may end up back there for that reason (my children are dual heritage).

Bejam yes, I suppose so, though none of those things have really come my way - maybe DD is oblivious to peer pressure (hope springs eternal) but she's certainly not asked to do anything because anyone/everyone else is - and we have the cheapest cinema in London on our doorstep! Maybe because there are so many things to do that it's unusual for 'everyone' to be interested in the same thing.

I can see that it will all get more pricey at secondary, but that's surely the case anywhere and at least her travel remains free and I will surely be encouraging her to use that (anything to avoid being her taxi!).

I think that there's a misconception of what goes on in london and how much day to day leisure stuff there is. I work in a part of zone 1 which looks at first glance to be a really crazy, busy area. Behind my office which is on a busy road there are 2 primary schools which have a decent amount of outside space. There's a sandy voleyball court which is council owned along with an astro pitch which is constantly being used for both adult and childrens football games as well as an area with table tennnis tables for the public.

Ive been able to explore the area quite extensively over the year we've been there and there are numerous really lovely playgrounds and well maintained garden squares open to everyone. There's a big allotment and some lovely green areas where fruit and veg grow in abundance. There are some lovely gardens too which have been maintained and renovated by local grass roots charities.

In the mornings I can't get from the tube for children on their scooters on the way to school and as I walk back to the tube the children are back on their scooters but this time in Karate kits, ballet costumes and football kits. The library across from my office is crammed with mums and buggies and storytimes and music groups. The Peabody trust have some social housing properties near us too and when I've popped into them they are beatifully maintained with brand new adventure playgrounds and sandpits etc.

I think it must be a lovely place to live and the council have clearly spent a fortune on developing and maintaining community facilities.

Thanks everyone - really interesting to hear so many different experiences. And reassuring that a lot of people did have a wonderful London childhood. I guess there probably isn't a bad choice to make as there are so many pros and cons to each.

I think a lot of it does come down to money and as neither DH or myself are high earners I can see we may have to make the move at some point as the kids get bigger. We are in Zone 3 and are lucky to have parks nearby, but when we visit the grandparents I love having access to a big garden. There is something special about being able to step outside your door and have your own green space. I feel like most of my childhood memories are of me and my siblings playing in the garden and fields all day (although maybe that wouldn't be the case these days anyway.)

I'll continue searching Rightmove obsessively until we make a decision...

Grew up in London, raising my children in the country but would have been at least as happy to raise them in London

Had a great childhood - museums etc extremely regularly but also parks etc. So much independence - to get about on my own quite young, able to get jobs / work exp, able to live at home in my early career. Multicultural in all senses and feel I know the real world in a way my kids don’t. Miss it

However it is lovely to have lots of space - indoor, outdoor, ours / public - in a way you can’t in London, though you do spend SO MUCH time in the car. Other big thing is safety - I was quite a ‘good girl’ but I wouldn’t want my kids doing a lot of the stuff I did - just walking around at night / in dodgy areas etc

Both have their pros & cons & whichever you choose try to give your kids experience of the other

I grew up between SW London and Ireland so best of both worlds. I loved Ireland but did feel a bit stranded because I was used to wandering round London. I was a loner and would put the headphones on and spend hours wandering round. Couldn't do that at home in Ireland.

One difference I find between city kids and country kids is that the country kids generally know how to 'behave' in a city/how it works, but city dwellers just don't know how the countryside works (dogs, closing gates, less awareness of the seasons, nature, distance to shops etc).

Not a necessary life skill, just something I noticed.

Country kids tend to have more freedom, but less to do with it (hard to get into trouble, so parents give more freedom, but it's harder to 'access' that freedom when everyone lives far apart.

City kids seem less able to entertain themselves, but on a general level more confident.

These are all generalisations though, and there's pros and cons to both. For myself, I'm aiming for living about 15m from a town, which is 40m from a big city. I think I gained a huge amount from a rural upbringing, especially in the early years. And I couldn't bear it if my own children were out and out townies, given I grew up in the deep countryside!

Bejam, I don’t recognise your experience at all. My children go to a very large comprehensive. My eldest is aware of a group of girls who are really into fashion and status, but they don’t seem to have any impact on the rest of the year group. My younger one has a very diverse group of best friends, both racially and socially. My own school was nothing like it. Being smaller meant it was much more hierarchical as everybody knew everyone else in the year group and those who perceived themselves as the alpha group were impossible to avoid.

And as for your comment that it is extremely expensive and unless their parents are well off it is limiting, particularly for teenagers. That’s completely the opposite of my experience!

Busses are free, and tubes and most overground rail service journeys are capped per day at £1.50 at weekend. Teenagers have the whole of London to explore! Mine go to free museums, or hang out at city hall or South Bank to watch free concerts and plays or just to watch the skateboarders and street performers. They go window shopping on Bond Street and can spend hours at Westfield without spending any money at all. They can spend all evening at the lido for £2.70 or go to one of the many local indoor pools for £2.00. They could spend all day at Hampstead bathing ponds for a pound, but haven’t ventured that far north yet. (There be dragons!)
They go to the woods or park to picnic and hang out, or to play tennis (free). They go for bike rides along the river and browse the markets in Greenwich. Cinema tickets at Peckhamplex are only £5, so yes, expensive for a teen but a hell of a lot cheaper than most cinemas.

I grew up in a village just outside a market town. They only free thing I could do locally was walk the dog or go on solitary bike rides (There was no-one of my age in the village). If I could persuade someone to give me a lift or get together the bus fare (£3.60 for a child’s return these days) then I could meet up with friends to go to the library, hang round the shops, go to a friend’s house or sit in a park with a bottle of cider. (These options are all of course open to London teens as well.) Oh, or watch morris dancers at the annual folk festival. The cinema in my local town now costs £9 for a children’s ticket and the pool is £4.25. I have absolutely no regrets about raising my children in London! My teenagers have freedom I never even dreamed of.