To ask those who grew up in London if they think they had a good childhood

[wolive]

We are having the usual debate about whether to move out of London now that we have two young DC - for more space, fresh air etc. We love our part of London, but DH and I both grew up in small villages with plenty of space and freedom and I always imagined the same kind of childhood for my kids. I worry about them growing up too quickly.

If you grew up in London (or another big city), do you think you missed out as city kids? And would you raise your own kids in a city or did you escape to the countryside?

You dont need to live in London to get the benefits of London.
On friday I went to National Gallery to see Impressionists, Nat Portrait Gallery for Taylor Wessing then popped over to Canary Wharf to meet DH for Dinner and Winter Lights. Zone 7 fares but outside London so cost me £8.80 .

Oh, the major plus point though is that state schools are good.

Grew up in central London, in a three bedroom flat above a shop with no garden.

My mum worked 6 days a week and my dad didn’t bother doing much with me.

Most weekends I was stuck indoors.

I moved out of London to get on the property ladder and live 30 minutes (fast train) from London- I commute for work. We moved when DD1 was a year and now have two DCs.

We love it, near lots of country parks, farms, things to do with young children.

I notice the air is worse when I’m in London. I don’t miss the culture as I didn’t experiance it much as a child. My kids do more in a month then I would have done in a year or more. But that was my parents not making an effort. I’m sure lots of kids growing up in big cities have a better experience. But personally I like driving to the end of our road and seeing green fields and cows. It’s what you prefer OP, like anything it’s very subjective.

I absolutely loved growing up in London. Lots to do.
However now things have changed. I take my kids to London and we have a good time but everything costs so much now. Travel especially. I guess if one is rich it won't matter.
There are lots of green spaces there but you just have to travel a bit more for it.
When we had free bus travel as teens, we'd go down to to main city and walk for hours on end. It was lovely.
I also love the multiculturalism there.
However I don't doubt that having a huge garden in the countryside is that bad either. There's a lot more to do in terms of connecting with nature, growing fruit and veg etc which I do feel like I missed out on now that I'm an adult and loving gardening with my kids. London gardens are too small for that unless you're lucky or have a good amount of money.
It's a balance of the books.

Grew up in east London, loved it - as a child enjoyed the parks, museums, city farms, friends all within walking distance, as a teen freedom to travel around the city with no concerns about missing the bus or train, vibrant multicultural markets, any possible interest or sporting whim catered for. Raising my kids in London now and enjoying the parks, city farms, playgrounds and museums all over again. Lots of choice for kids groups and libraries, and reassured by having A&E departments within 10mins (my brothers and cousins made good use of these as children - city kids climb trees too...!) We holiday in the countryside so they get to play on beaches and forests then, much as I did growing up and realistically I find we use the car way more in rural areas when walking children along 60mph roads with no pavements is as terrifying to me as the hypothetical murderers that the London critics think lurk on every corner!

We made the move out and don’t regret it but we pay for that with a longer commute and that does have an effect on family life so you have to work our what is more important to you. There is no doubt that being in/within easy reach of London creates opportunities.

If you pick your location wisely you can combine the country life and bigger property with reasonable public transport and a doable commute into London for the theatre/museums etc.

The biggest bonus for me is having a big garden. It’s a lot easier than heading to the park for green space.

Another one born and raised in SE London here. Absolutely yes to the best of both worlds; on the edge of Kent, short drive from Sussex, open spaces within a short walk away, and could access Central London within half an hour.

This said this was the days when a Red Rover ticket allowed you to roam the city all day without a mobile phone, though I do remember being given a phone card for emergencies.... I doubt I would be allowing our child to do the same at such a young age but it was great for me, we are though in different times now, so I expect this caution would apply anywhere ?

Visited bundles of museums and galleries and am now beginning the same full circle with my child.

I definitely think London perhaps makes you grow up a lot quicker and a lot more streetwise, this was very evident amongst my peers at university and even now amongst adult friends who still sometimes appear more than a bit naive and less confident in themselves.

We have had the same conversations as you OP, but the positives and possibilities here far outweighed the negatives when we really considered it. I do worry that in teenage years children here perhaps have access to easily to somethings they shouldn't , but hoping to navigate that one with a close eye and lots of guidance.

So for us, we have the luxury of having the ability to escape to the countryside on a whim, have parks here in walking distance with nature reserves on our doorstep, but also benefit from the buzz and opportunities we viewed to be unmatched anywhere else.

OP I hope you choose whatever is best for you and yours . It's a tough call these days and I think only you know what works for you.

We bought up two sons in London, and often visited friends with similarly aged kids in the country. I was shocked just how restricted their children were - the local consensus was it was unsafe for them to go out due to 'the traffic' and any activity involved driving them to and from various places several miles away. Their kids spent far more time in their rooms playing on consoles etc than ours did.
In London we could walk them to and from most things, or jump on a bus. they would go out themselves to the local park and play with other kids. When they got into their teens they would travel around by bus, tube or train.
This was in the late 90s and early 00s, so not so long ago.

I think I grew up in exactly the right spot. Zone 5 of London. 30 mins drive to real countryside. 1 hour into central London. So could experience the best of both worlds.

I grew up in a smallish midlands town and it was ok but also a bit dull. Also drove me mad from 13 onwards that there was nothing much in walking distance and i had to rely on my parents for lifts.

Currently raising our 5 and 1 yo in Zone 2 and we love it. DD goes to an outstanding state primary, we live right by a huge park and near several others. Make use every weekend of museums/Southbank/galleries/parks, and eat out at brilliant local (cheap!) eateries. DD walks and scoots everywhere and we bump into people we know every time we leave the house.

We have ordinary jobs as do most peope we know but are fortunate to have been on housing ladder for years. We do live in a small property as do many friends but it's worth it for the location.

Oh and in the 20 years myself and OH have lived in London neither of us have ever been a victim of crime.

one thing that I find baffling about so many people I know who live near us in zone 2 is how happy people are with so little (like, really little) garden. Houses that are top heavy anyway extended further - so you end up with a 5 bed house (3 kids in current family) but a tiny garden. Having a park nearby is nice but so much more hassle with young kids. DD is out in our garden on her climbing frame for hours.

i was brought up in london and raise my children here. I think that it's the absolutely best place in the world for children to grow up. When they were small I loved the museums, parks and other activites. For teens it's amazing, they have independence, theatre, concerts, public transport is plentiful and the buses are free for teens. They have so much freedom and opportunity. When they finish university they can live at home and save before moving out.

Personally, I don't like the countryside, I find it dull and isolating and my children can't relate to it. I would only ever bring kids up in a big city.

RiverTam we have a decent garden but we barely use it as DD wants to be with her mates!

We live in London ( DD5) and lived here all my life. I do love London for many reasons but due to finance I will hopefully be moving.
We are in a “ middle class “ area and I want my daughter experience things but even 30 minute ballet classes bankrupt me.
The rent is high and I just can’t afford to give her a good life here.

Born and bred in London, and bringin up kids here. I use the car maybe once a week because everything is walkable or on the tube. We can do a last minute trip to the museums if we fancy it one Saturday afternoon, go ice-skating, the adventure playground, the children’s theatre etc are all within 30 minutes walk / bus / tube. My kids will take themselves to secondary school, to see friends once secondary age etc - no chauffeuring.

what, all the time? DD is out in ours before school, after school, with her friends, on and off at the weekend, in the cold and rain and dark... she's now 9 and I don't think there's been a time when we haven't used it - and of course it's not just for her - looking out into it while I'm eating breakfast, all the green and different plants and the birds on the feeders - I dunno, I think people can really underestimate the mental benefits of having greenery in their lives.

I think it depends on where in london a bit. I grew up in hackney in the 80/90's and i love the fact it was completely normal to have loads of different cultures mixed together which is the main reason i'm still in london and bringing up my kids here. I agree it really comes to its own when you're a teenager and i loved the freedom, lots of parks and and things to do when they are younger as well.

The downside of london and probably most big cities is crime, pollution and rubbish. Where we live now there are lots of gang related crimes you I see it on a daily bases and at time I do feel unsafe, for instance I would walk around with my phone out because i'm likely to be mugged.
Saying that there is a great community feeling and I know most of the people on our bit of road, there are street parties and a local flower and produce show in the summer!

I grew up in zone 5/6 south west London. Absolutely loved it, from the age of 15 or so I was up in Central at a gig most weekends. Loved not being the only brown person for miles. Where we lived was quite suburban and nice but it was so easy to get in to the City, we went to art galleries, we went to theatre shows. I would love to bring my kids up in the same place but can't afford it at all, so we are zone 3, nowhere near as "middle-class" an area but I still love it. We have a 3-bed house with a garden - dunno why we bothered, the kids barely ever go in the garden. There are parks and playgrounds galore and I try and get them in to central London every month or so (more in the holidays obviously) to visit a museum or go on a riverboat - they've only just started school but I can't wait for them to be a bit older and we can do some more stuff.

I definitely agree with @Believability. I get frightened in the countryside - no idea why, as I do believe it is statistically safer! But I feel comforted by buildings around me, and people.

*Bear2014

I grew up in a smallish midlands town and it was ok but also a bit dull. Also drove me mad from 13 onwards that there was nothing much in walking distance and i had to rely on my parents for lifts.*
Same here! Except my mum didn’t have a car so I was restricted to the rubbish public transport system (no buses on Sundays etc). My dad was rather resentful about lifts. So it wasn’t great as a teenager. I was quite pleased to move away.

RiverTam
I dunno, I think people can really underestimate the mental benefits of having greenery in their lives.

We DO have greenery in our lives in London! Lots of it- maybe not acres as a back garden, maybe no garden at all but access to some superb green spaces.

There is so much more to do than sit in a garden or park, I have never understood how this could be a "daily pastime"? I mean yes lovely to give kids a runabout outside, but I would be out of my mind with boredom doing this all the time.

RiverTam being in the garden just seems to trigger wanting to immediately upgrade to the playground! She is ridiculously sociable though. I love the garden for myself but in no way is it a park substitute for us (DD just turned 5). I think for a lot of people a tiny garden/balcony is an acceptable compromise for living in a desirable location.

Probably not quite what you're asking but I grew up in zone 2 on a peabody estate. I had the best childhood. My friends and school friends mostly lived on the estate so there was always a group of children to play with or a few of us in and out of each other's houses. We had a playground, grass, an area to play football or space invaders or skipping games on. Could roller skate or bike around without fear of getting run over. I loved it!

RiverTam, it’s not necessarily ‘stuff’ though, as one poster mentioned above things like the latest craze for ballet or drama or judo lessons or going to see the big West End show, or even being taken to the cinema to see the latest film.

It’s more pronounced at secondary school anyway.

There's a big difference between taking yourself and (all) your DC to the park and simply opening the back door.

I agree there's more to do, but that's why a garden is so wonderful - it's just 'there' all the time. I'm doing something whilst benefitting from it - eating, cooking, cleaning, working - all of these I can do whilst glancing out of my back door or window onto this amazing green space - not even acres, but 70 feet of garden is very unusual where I am, most streets are lucky to stretch to 20 feet, it's it's probably all paved anyway.

I just find all these top heavy houses a bit weird, but they're very desired by families around here. I wouldn't pay over a million quid for a house with a hanky-sized garden!