To ask how long your baby should sleep with you?

[penelopepig]

Posting here for traffic really, bit confused.

I'm getting so much conflicting advice on how long a newborn should sleep in your room for and wondered what everyone's thoughts are and why?

I seem to be getting 6 months as a guideline from a lot of people but if you have a partner getting ready in the mornings etc in the same room- how in the hell are you supposed to establish any semblance of a routine?

Lol at “mummy martyr”
Being used as an insult btw - the things a “mummy martyr” does just sounds like stuff someone who enjoys spending time with their baby does! If you don’t like to cosleep or baby wear or breastfeed that’s fine but they are extremely normal and natural things to do so unsure how that’s something to be mocked? Some people sound very overly defensive 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

What a ridiculous thing to say...I guess I’m a mummy martyr then because after reading all the research and advice, I made the informed decision to do what was best and safest for my baby. 6mths of disturbed sleep is nothing if it means my baby wouldn’t become a SIDS statistic. And using monitors and movement mats has ZERO effect on babies dying from SIDS so not sure why that would give anyone any reassurance.
DS is 13mths and still in with us, he has a floor bed in his room that we’re slowly trying him to get used to. He’ll move into his own room when he’s ready.

6 months is a minimum. The longer the better. DS was in my room until about 20m and then would come and get in with me/us when he woke (anywhere between midnight and 6am). This went on until he was getting on for 3.5 yrs or 4. We bought a bigger bed as he approached 3 and all slept much better!

DH worked regular nights while DS was in with me all the time so he mostly slept in the spare room. We had a crib which DS never took to and after about 3 weeks we co slept. After a few months we got a bedside cot so he went in there at night to begin with and I fished him in with me when he woke and co-slept after that.

uptree , pufalina , maryshelley , pixiecutregret and bibijayne you are my kind of people ❤️

Mine co-slept for 2yrs or thereabout and cant see my third (2 yrs old soon) moving out completely soon. He does spend half the night in his bed nowadays but still breastfeeds so joins us when he was up.
I would agree that following the recommendation on this is sensible as it is relatively straightforward to do really. Breastfeeding can be trickier for some women but room sharing isn't a massive ask.

I'm not a mummy martyr either lol i work FT in a busy professional role despite having 3 children. I breastfed all of them yes and still breastfeed 2. I couldn't stand prams (couldn't close them down) so yes baby wearing but because it's convenient. Same as bf and Co sleeping. We can travel easily and travel light. Makes my life easier so i go with it. Same as babyled weaning. Everything for a simple life!!

I v much like being with my babies just don’t want to sleep with them or wear them

Just read the mummy martyr comments. What utter crap. I co slept and breastfed long term because it was easier for me and both my baby and I were happy with it. I was only intending having him in my room for 6 months but it turned out to be much longer. It was my choice and I was happy with it. Not sure how that makes me a martyr! I also did blw and baby wearing. The people who do these things do them because the want to. They don’t do it because they ‘should’ and most are not suffering for doing it! We all parent differently and that’s fine. SIDS guidance is against cosleeping but I did a lot of reading about how to do it safely and loved it, not least of all because we all slept better that way and I could function better for it, especially when I went back to work . I would do it again from the get go if I had another baby. Really no need for labels or name calling though 🙄

I v much like being with my babies just don’t want to sleep with them or wear them

Why are you seemingly unable to accept that some mothers want to do these things?

I found co-sleeping to be perfect when i returned to work FT. It gave me a closeness with my babies that i needed to reconnect. I never thought I'd be like that either.

@JamThenClottedCream oh my goodness. All fingers crossed that the new bedroom marks a new stage for you! Do update us tomorrow! I’m praying when I move my baby out he suddenly learns the skill of accumulated sleeping...

Erm... I really don't feel like I'm martyring myself by having DS in a cot by the bed, meaning night feeds take 10 minutes and I don't even need to turn a light on. When he is in his own room I'll have to go up and down stairs and feed him in a chair.

Keep your baby with you for 6 months.Dd1 stopped breathing in her crib next to our bed. She make a tiny choking noise which i heard because she was next to me. She had stopped breathing and was purple and clenched ( described as rigor by the doctor later). My husband resuscitate her while I called an ambulance. There is no way i would have heard this noise or reacted as quickly if she had not been in the room with us. I have no doubt at all she would be dead if she had not been so near to me. It was described on her hospital notes as a "life threatening episode". She is 12 now. I never talk about this.Just writing this is making me shake. Please keep your baby in your room.

Fucking 9 years on and my 3 are still in the bed with us 😫😫😫

Shoving my 7 year old to the other side of bed to get comfortable to read this thread.........the third baby just doesn't ever seem to leave...

One of my earliest memories is my Mum's face just crumpling when the phone rang to tell her of a family death from SIDS. It isn't theory in our family, it's lived fact and it's bloody horrific. People who take the guidelines and just shrug them off so they can get babies in routines do make me angry.

DC1 was almost 2 before they left our room- but that's more because we moved out of our 1 bedroom home

It was, generally, completely fine all sharing the room.

DC2 is now 5 months and will stay with me & DH until at least a year old if not more

There is no “should”. It’s about what works for you. I couldn’t sleep with my babies in my room. I lasted three nights and didn’t sleep a wink. I woke to every sniffle, snore etc. I was exhausted so they slept in their own room from 1 week old.

There is no “should”.

I disagree with this. I think this is quite a clear case of your baby should stay with you for 6 months. Of course people can choose to ignore but the should is there all the same.

Yes there definitely is a ‘should’z

*’should’.

All mine were in my room-and more often than not my bed-until they were about 2 and I bloody loved it! To me a baby being in a different room to me would just feel so unnatural wrong,but that's just me.

My lo is 2.5 and her bed is still in our room and she comes in every morning from 5:30 for cuddles. Last night I was poorly and she snuggled up to me from 8-11. She probably could go in her own room, but it suits us all and she is v happy!

Should be 6 months but I've not stuck to that with either of my two.
DS1 was in his own room when he was 9 weeks, too big for the moses and cot wouldn't fit in our room and I didn't want to co sleep. Tbh I was very uninformed with DS1, my HV never batted an eye when I said he was in his own room. DS1 has never slept in our bed, I tried once when he went through a stage of waking for the day at 4am and all hell broke loose!
DS2 just gone in his room at 5 months as he's started sleeping through the night and was being disturbed by DHs mammoth snoring. HV told me to sleep on his floor for a month but I'm not doing that.

DS is still cosleeping with us at 10 months. He used to do the early evening sleep downstairs to be near us, but after 6 months we started settling him upstairs so he didn't have to wake up when we go up but whenever he's ready for his feed. He started sleeping more of the night on his own mattress recently, but then he got poorly so I didn't want him on his own. Which is lucky because it means his high fever woke me up even though he wasn't crying. Mostly also it means he can just latch on for a feed without actively waking me. I find it hard sleeping without him in the bed even when he's just next to us, he's so snuggly and huggy.

I strongly recommend a video monitor though, even when he was little we used it in the evening having dinner was great where we could keep an eye on him next door but not have to whisper. Now it's essential so we can see what's going on whether he makes noise or not.