To ask how long your baby should sleep with you?

[penelopepig]

Posting here for traffic really, bit confused.

I'm getting so much conflicting advice on how long a newborn should sleep in your room for and wondered what everyone's thoughts are and why?

I seem to be getting 6 months as a guideline from a lot of people but if you have a partner getting ready in the mornings etc in the same room- how in the hell are you supposed to establish any semblance of a routine?

You don’t want anyone to criticise your choice, but you’re more than happy to criticise those who chose differently.

I’m not sure what point you’re pressing?if you’re happy with your choice great
we are happy with our choices too

Dd’s 5 and still sleeps in our bed

Criticise by all means and of course I’ll defend my individual choices
That’s how mn works...

I actually think it’s everyone’s call to call an opinion unhelpful when not only does it go against medical advice but it also seems to criticise those who do follow the advice.

I didn’t criticise your choice. Maybe some other posters did. I wasn’t just pointing out that you were objecting to people criticising your choice while simultaneously calling anyone who made a different choice to you a ‘mummy martyr’.
There was no martyrdom involved in having my babies in my room. They were close for feeds (I didn’t have to walk down the corridor every time they woke up), they still had a routine and they were less at risk of SIDS. Win win situation for me.

*i was just pointing out

... and this is why I said we shouldn't criticise each others choices, because it ends up like this!

DS is 5 months. He was trying to escape (pull himself out) of his moses basket last week. Tried the pack 'n' play in our room but there's an unavoidable draft that woke him (he usually sleeps through). So DS and I are now in the nursery (there's a day bed in there too). Will stay there until he's at least 6 months and slowly build up to him sleeping though on his own afterwards.

😂 I must be a proper martyr mother! Ds left our bed at 7, Dd still in there at 5. Breastfed both until 3 and never owned a buggy, just a carrier.

I do have 2 lovely well adjusted children and never felt like I’d made a rod for my own back at any point.

Bedsharing - no getting up in the middle of the night
Breastfeeding - no expensive feeds or again getting up in the middle of the night
No buggy - being able to cuddle dc all day long and being able to use stairs

Oh forgot. DS is EBF, so if he does wake and need a feed it's much easier if he's in the same room as me :)

In real life do you fastidiously adhere to all medical advice?
Dietary,alcohol,cardiac and mental heath advice do you adhere to all NICE/NHS guidelines?
Or do you adopt an informed choice approach and maintain safety whilst exercising personal choice
Most adults work to this ideological approach.know the med advice and broadly but not wholly chose to follow it

I find it so bizarre that we as a species think it’s right to sleep apart from our infants - no other mammals do it. It’s a complete social construct and unnatural. Of course nearly everyone does it and I’m not being judgemental but it does make me think!

UpTree

How did it work having second child in bed with a newborn? interested as I see that as quite possibly
Being my future 😂🙈

Ahh the ye olde days hypotheses
I don’t sleep with the kids because I don’t have to,simple as that
Living in a centrally heated house we aren’t compelled to sleep together

Or do you adopt an informed choice approach and maintain safety whilst exercising personal choice

Yes I do. And that’s exactly what I did when choosing to have my babies in with me for the first 6 months . Read the research and made a choice.

Until about 7/8 months, she still fit in her Moses basket but became more mobile quite suddenly so it seemed the right time.

I'm also a 'mummy martyr' UpTree

I babywear because I love it
I room share because I love it
I also choose to turn down most invites to grown up stuff because I would rather be spending time with my family.

No need for silly nicknames for mums who LIKE to do things differently to you LipstickHandbagCoffee

I kicked my dh out crispy

But also, I often kicked both dh and ds (who was 5 when dd was born) out in to Ds’s room.... He’s always had a room to play in but preferred to sleep with us. We put a double in there when dd was born, so easy to kick them both out!

Now, dd has her own room too with a single but she’s never slept in it. I often do, leaving her to sleep with dh. Ds9 now most often sleeps alone

I agree, crispy! DD went into her room at about eight months and night weaned not long after (EBF at that point), and I did sleep on her floor on a memory foam topper for a few weeks. She's two now and still seems tiny to be in her own room i used to let her come in bed with me if she woke up in the night until she was 18mo, but I was quite pregnant by then and thought it easier to stop than when the new baby arrived (21m gap)
Second DD is 4.5mo, she'll be in with me until she doesn't need feeding overnight. She's our last and we have spare bedrooms so no rush for me to move back in with snoring DH

😀 pixie I bet too like me, you don’t give a monkeys about other parent’s choices? And don’t feel the need to berate people on the internet for those choice?

Guidelines are 6 months.....but they are merely 'guidelines'. Our DD stayed in our room until she was about 10 weeks old, then she went in her own room and started to sleep through the night. We have a monitor with movement mat and we all needed the break from each other. Currently pregnant with DD2 and will probably do something similar!

Question- sorry to hijack thread- my DC will definitely be in with us til 6 months but will be starting nursery part time at 7 months old. Should we keep DC in with us during the transition to going to nursery so it's one less change, or move to own room at 6 months so that's established BEFORE nursery?
First DC so no other little ones to consider, we have a next2me crib but would have room for a proper cot in our room if the next2me is outgrown so the only issue is the best way to manage two changes in routine.

0! Couldn't be doing with their noisy snuffling (plus there was no room for a cot). Used an Angel care monitor thingee for peace of mind. They were literally across the hall from us anyway. If you don't meet any of the other SIDS factors (smoking, co-sleeping, old mattress etc) then it really doesn't make much of a difference.

18 months for DS. Much easier than getting up in the night. He did start going up to bed before us from 6 months and made his own routine. I'm certainly no mummy martyr, but wasn't prepared to risk my childs life for a bit of alone time with my husband.