To ask my friend to stop discussing her period in front of DD?

[WeirdTalk]

Am I unreasonable that I don’t want my friend constantly discussing her period in front of my children and DP?

I have a friend who I’ve known for a number of years. Lately (well, the last few years) she’s become quite obsessive about certain things and Will develop strong opinions about them. One of the latest is that we’re all too shy about discussing periods and that women need to talk more openly about them. Only, it seems that she now needs to discuss periods at every opportunity, even if not really relevant at all.

I have three DDs, the oldest is 6. I haven’t really had any need to discuss periods with her yet, though she has seen me getting tampons/pads out and buying them. She hasn’t asked any questions so I don’t feel it’s necessary to mention anything just yet. My friend will say things like ‘just going upstairs to change my sanitary towel’ or ‘my period started today’. My DP has mentioned to me that’s he finds it a bit odd and that he isn’t sure why we all need to know which I tend to agree with. I really feel that she’s trying to push her views on us and I don’t know how to ask her to stop. If the comments were in context (i.e. in relation to an actual conversation we were having) then I wouldn’t care too much.

So am I weird in that I tend to just get on with my period without really making an issue of it or is she being a bit odd enforcing this idea that we are doing it all ‘wrong’ in our family?

Tothappy 😂

She's making a right old issue of it isn't she? Of course periods shouldn't be taboo but they are not the only thing on the planet! It's like she's going hey everyone look at me I m a woman. I bleed. I talk about it without embarrassment when theres a man in the room!
Poor dp. I think she's like a rude attention seeking kid.
Not caring how she's making you feel uncomfortable in your own home coz she's just so super cool .
I m with you OP. Some things don't need mentioning (like anything we do in the toilet!)

It’s fine to mention in passing. It’s just biology.

My friend will say things like ‘just going upstairs to change my sanitary towel’ or ‘my period started today’

Bravo your friend! In the spirit of demystifying bodily functions, you should join in.

“God I did a massive shit this morning. Stank up the whole bathroom, but then I hadn’t been for a couple of days. Felt good to get it all out of my system!”

“That was a really big wee, my bladder capacity must be massive!”

“I only did a wee, I thought I might need a poo as well but it turned out just to be a big fart”

You can enlist your whole family! I know DS would definitely have a lot to say on the topic.

YANBU. No-one cares whether she's going to freshen her lipstick, change her tampon, or pee. People don't want to hear the details of others' bowel movements or "ooh, just sneezed out a huge booger!", so why is this any different? A six-year-old doesn't need to know about periods. There's nothing wrong with telling her about them if you want to, but neither is it wrong to leave the discussion for when she's older. Your friend should respect how you want to handle it with your own daughter!

Yes we need to break a taboo.

But we also need to realise some children are too young to understand it.

We need to be more open about sex, but not in front of 6 year olds.

We need to be more open about mental health, but not in front of 6 year olds.

I agree periods should not be taboo. I have always been open with DD and will be with DS. Pads and tampons on the bathroom shelf.
I do get what you mean, I have a friend who obsessed with talking about her period and when she is off her period she bangs on about her cycle. Every time we meet oh look at my spots I'm on my period or look my stomach is swollen I'm mid cycle. Who cares.
I would never think to mention mine unless I was in pain and it was necessary.

Performance Perioding. How very tedious. I agree with Smiley - have a word.

I agree with everyone who has said periods should not be a taboo subject but your friends sounds weirdly OTT, going on about them all the time. In my entire life I'm sure I've never announced going to the toilet to change my sanitary towel :-).

I hope she outgrows this phase but wonder what the next one will be. Mind boggles.

Ugh OP, she sounds gross and annoying. Talking about how she’s passing clots? I mean really!
I agree it should be less taboo, but really, that’s wayyyy TMI!!!

YANBU.

I've got a friend that does this but with poo. She's of the view that we all do it so we ought to just talk about it more.

Sometimes it's a little gross but mostly it's just unnecessary and boring.

It's not that it's a taboo. It's because of all of the millions of things we could discuss, bodily functions are not high on my list of things that interest me.

Should we all start announcing when we need a shit then so there is no shame?

Seriously people, would you announce this stuff to your work colleagues?

It’s being ridiculous for the sake of being ridiculous!

Not unreasonable to request she doesn't mention in front of your children.

Periods are a normal part of being a woman, but then nocturnal erections are a normal part of being a guy. No need to constantly go on about either of these things.

I'm a bit on the fence about this. I wouldn't object to her talking about them in front of DD because it isn't something that children need to be shielded from, kids ask questions about things all the time and I'm sure you'd be more than happy explaining things if she did ask? It's not like it's taboo or dirty, she'll need to know eventually anyway and it's good for her to be able to talk to women about things like that.

However I do think that your friend is being over the top and that would annoy me a bit. The part where you said she'd told you that she passed clots? Ugh. I'm not saying she can't talk about it but to me it's on a level with talking about poo or wee - would you sit there and say " I was really constipated and then I did big lumpy shit and it smelled terrible!". No, of course not... And if you did you would understand that some people don't want to hear that, especially if they're eating or having a nice cup of tea or something...

Periods are nothing to be ashamed of, but that doesn't mean that everyone should be forced to listen to graphic descriptions of them so frequently, especially at times when it may turn people's stomachs.

I don't think it's something I'd be upset for my children to hear about, but it is very weird and TMI to announce why exactly you are going to the toilet.

As for whether OP's child should have seen evidence of periods already, my oldest is 3 and I've had exactly two periods in her entire life, I've been pregnant, breastfeeding, and now have an IUD so there's a good chance I wont have any periods for the next few years.

I dont think periods should be shameful my dd was told at 7 and 2 ds 8 and 10 know a out them but it's not something to announce to a room. None of my children have ever seen me change a pad or tampon or even use the loo for that matter as I'm an incredibly private person.

I agree that there shouldn't be any stigma about periods and your daughter should be able to discuss or chat to you about it - when the time comes. She is only 6. But your friend would really annoy me, she is not your daughter's parent and it is NOT up to her to eniglighten, educate or use your daughter as a social experiment. Who announces, 'I'm going upstairs to change my sanitary pad' She is ridiculous.

Yanbu. She's woke-signalling.