To ask my friend to stop discussing her period in front of DD?

[WeirdTalk]

Am I unreasonable that I don’t want my friend constantly discussing her period in front of my children and DP?

I have a friend who I’ve known for a number of years. Lately (well, the last few years) she’s become quite obsessive about certain things and Will develop strong opinions about them. One of the latest is that we’re all too shy about discussing periods and that women need to talk more openly about them. Only, it seems that she now needs to discuss periods at every opportunity, even if not really relevant at all.

I have three DDs, the oldest is 6. I haven’t really had any need to discuss periods with her yet, though she has seen me getting tampons/pads out and buying them. She hasn’t asked any questions so I don’t feel it’s necessary to mention anything just yet. My friend will say things like ‘just going upstairs to change my sanitary towel’ or ‘my period started today’. My DP has mentioned to me that’s he finds it a bit odd and that he isn’t sure why we all need to know which I tend to agree with. I really feel that she’s trying to push her views on us and I don’t know how to ask her to stop. If the comments were in context (i.e. in relation to an actual conversation we were having) then I wouldn’t care too much.

So am I weird in that I tend to just get on with my period without really making an issue of it or is she being a bit odd enforcing this idea that we are doing it all ‘wrong’ in our family?

Not entirely sure what you mean since I haven’t read the thread. Sounds like you’re being nasty for no apparent reason,

Not at all. Just don’t understand posters who join MN to start threads going into much detail about the periods they don’t want to hear about.

Actually I just name changed. I then realised you don’t need to join again with a new email adress, you can actually just name change in your settings. My other username is outing and I’d rather be anonymous. Not too unreasonable....

I genuinely haven’t read the other thread and I don’t think the topic I’ve brought up is so out there that it’s unreasonable to discuss. It’s been bugging me and I thought I’d ask like minded people. Life is shit enough at the moment without someone jumping down my throat about asking a question.

YANBU. I really don’t believe in this day and age that periods are a taboo subject - maybe it’s just that people don’t want to talk openly about their bodily functions! Would people normally say - I’m just going to the toilet to have a poo? Or I’m just need to blow my nose because I have a lot of snot in my nostrils? People know about these things but they just don’t need/want to announce generally about them.

Outing to what, precisely? Do you know this friend uses MN? It’s a bit mean to confront her in this ‘outing’ manner, why couldn’t you possibly say ‘that’s to much information about what’s going on with you right now!’, or text her to say ‘please hold back on some of your private details, your embarrassing my partner/kids’. I mean I assume you have talked to her, not jumped on here with all this detail that’s tmi in your own home, but totally fine here.

Since the thread question is about whether or not I should speak to her about it then it’s safe to assume that no, I haven’t spoken to her about it first. I think. You’re the only poster that seems to think I may have done. Plenty of people post this type of question BEFORE confronting the friend/relative.

By outing I mean that people that know me IRL would easily recognise me from my actual username. I’m sure it’s obvious that’s what I was getting at.

I don’t get it, why do we need to be talking about periods more?

By outing I mean that people that know me IRL would easily recognise me from my actual username.

Unless your username is ImKateMiddletonNoReallyIAm, I highly doubt it. People recognise each other from specific situations, not usernames. That’s why people name change (or because they know they’ll get flamed).

Why haven’t you told her it makes you uncomfortable? Surely that’s the whole point here, why do you need a forum to tell you how to deal with that?

To be honest it sounds like she’s doing it for attention so everyone can see how great she is being open about her period (in a completely out of context way). I’d treat it with disinterest tbh - ‘that’s nice dear’ and if your dd does pick up on her talking about it all the time I’d just say that it’s nothing to be embarassed about but nor do you HAVE to crowbar it into the conversation at every opportunity.
Telling people what you are going to the bathroom to do is unnecessary imo. You are going to do it in private for a reason - whatever it is - pissing, shitting, farting, changing a tampon, blowing your nose, having a fart, scratching your arse. All natural things but you don’t need to do a tmi announcement about it.
I wouldn’t say anything to your friend. It would only be spun as you being really old fashioned and thinking that periods are a taboo subject.

I think we do need to ensure talking about periods is not taboo but it sounds like your friend is going overboard.

However, you say your six year old hasn’t asked any questions so I don’t feel it’s necessary to mention anything just yet.

I started my periods at eight and I didn’t know anything at all about them to have realised I could/should have asked. We didn’t even have sex education classes for another academic year and I had no older female friends who could have explained. Please don’t let that happen to your DD. Just talk to her naturally and openly so it isn’t such a shock if it happens at a young age.

YANBU. My DD (8) knows about periods, I told her a couple of years ago as I had a leak and she saw the blood so I explained what it was as she thought I’d hurt myself, but I’m really not sure why a grown woman would announce their period or that they had to change their sanitary towel, it’s weird. I totally get that you might tell a friend if you had a concern about an unusual period or were late etc, but other than that I’m not sure what there is to talk about.

I understand your friends point about periods shouldn't be a taboo subject but on the other hand there is no need for her to announce to your family that her period started today or shes just going to change her sanitary towel. Imagine going to her house and saying "I'm just going for a shit/piss" or "I went for a nasty shit earlier" it's the same thing. These things don't need announcing to the world. If she wants to have a chat about her period then fine do it in private when it's just you two not the whole family.

My 4 yo has asked me what my pads are for and I explained, so she now mentions that when she's a grown up lady she'll have blood in her pants too.

But it's not something you mention causally, I agree. I thought you meant she had issues she wanted to have a moan about, rather than just a news update.

OP - I imagine this is your friend every 28 days on your door step.

Not sure, things like context and tone/volume of voice could make a big difference with something like this.

There's 5 girls in my house, youngest is 5 and knows about periods.

I don't see it as a big issue so it isn't treated like one.

My eldest started her periods at 8 so it's good to prepare them.

I don't get why we need to talk about periods more either.

I mean it's a normal bodily function, if it needs to get mentioned mention it, same as you would any other bodily function but dropping it in to make a point just makes you one of those attention seeking knobs you roll your eyes at.

If this was my friend I'd say "fuck sake Mary, we get it, you get periods, we all get them, it's not a big deal, what is a big deal is you dropping it in to conversation out of context constantly, it's boring, attention seeking and frankly makes you look like a knob" either that or go "oh here we go, another out of context period comment, if I had a tenner for every time you told us for no apparent reason I'd be flying to Spain this summer on the proceeds"

People like her really fucking irritate me

Or more like this? Ask DP.

YANBU FGS why can't we just let kids be kids? Your eldest is 6 and you will know when its right time to have conversations about periods. Your friend sounds like a pain in the arse tbh.

I find it odd that she feels the need to push this on your family, to be honest, and I am very free and easy about periods with my DD and DS.

For context, both of them knew about my monthly 'bleeding time' when old enough to notice, if barging in on me in our loo (which has no lock) - that was about age 3. I wouldn't let them watch me put in a tampon but DD still asks to put my new towel on my knickers for me.

YANBU.

@returnofsmileysbar
Nail on the head.

@Returnofthesmileybar

Thank goodness someone is talking sense

What Returnofthesmileybar said.

Have fun with it. Next time she does it say 'ooh, go YOU! You so fertile! MOON GODDESS!!!' with a big grin