To give up my liberal values?

[buckingfrolicks]

I'm a soft leftie, Remain-voting, pro-equality, charity-giving middle aged woman and I am sorely tempted to ditch the lot and no longer give a rat's arse about other people?

The Right is rising, self interest is rising, self-righteousness is rising. People in this so-called liberal country are admitting the inadmissible with pride. Women's rights are under attack, anti-Muslim is the new anti Semitism, the poor the weak and the vulnerable are at greater risk than ever.

I fucking despair. My reality is that I am -touch wood - going to be ok come a hard Brexit, I'm one of the incredibly fortunate people in this country.

So AIBU to think I may as well stop voting for, and supporting, and canvassing for, and funding, and giving time to, every single thing that does not maximise my own personal best interests?

Let's just say Brexit has dented my compassion somewhat. My dh is more soft hearted than me and says "fuck 'em" a lot more than I do.

Welcome to the group of many people in the UK (certainly in England at least) who have no-one remotely near their values to vote for. The politically homeless, as it were. The Right as you describe will support Tories, and the Labour party want to deny some if not many women's rights too.

It’s possible to have liberal values and to have reservations about some of the things on your list

Same here

Op you lost me at softie lefty.

I am swing voter and voted left the most.
I would never be so naive as to see the left as softies 🤔🙄. Honestly!
I think this is where left have taken the wrong turn in recent times.

It's never too late to stop being a sap - stop worrying so much about what is and is not "admissible", and you might actually experience genuine human emotions for a change. It's really quite liberating!

Dont give up.

I dunno. I feel like life is just too much of a ratrace to be worth it. Looking forward to death. Slightly flippant but what is the effing point, every cunt is as selfish as the next, let the losers win, I dont need to play.

@DocusDiplo feeling the same way today!

We can't give up OP. It's like that paraphrased saying about good people only have to stand by and do nothing so let evil people win. We'll probably be fine too - good income / education / health - but so many won't be, including a great many people who were manipulated. People have to keep speaking out.

Completely with you, OP.

YABU. We need people to stand up and say what they see. Things have turned, you’re right. History will look back on 2010-2020 and ask what on Earth was going on. It is certainly the start of something for the worse. I personally want to be one of the people seen to say WTF? and not join in.

Sorry to be a bit miserable @YogaWannabe !

There is no way I can have a good (not 'month to month' existence) life through "hard work" and I am worried my kids won't either as I have nothing to set them up with. Life is for the wealthy and I do have any money and no way of getting any. Things are only going to get worse as I get older and have health problems.

I find you a bit hypocritical to be honest.

Calling yourself a soft leftie and a proremainer is the ultimate wolf in sheep’s clothing. There are good things about being Europe but it certainly isn’t a left wing paradise by any means. You only have to take a cursory glance at the Common Agricultural Policy and its devasting effects on african farmers to realise that Europe doesn’t always align with your supposed liberal beliefs.

Unless of course, as with a lot of champagne socialists, you want the right kind of minority or poor people to be helped and supported. Just so long as you are seen to be right on and the other unpalatable stuff is hidden away.

If you've ever gotta ask yourself this question then drop the act and behave how you really want

how I really want to act, and feel, is with compassion and in a supportive and respectful way. Not me me me.

I'm certainly not a hypocrite I hope - and "soft leftie" was pre-disparagement of myself. It's damn hard being a labour person at the moment

I feel more understanding towards liberal Germans in the Weimar years, as national socialism emerged. Having to fight the temptation to think "fuck 'em, if they're stupid enough to vote nazi let them take what's coming to them". And then finding oneself, 10 years later, saluting with the rest of them cos if you don't you're going to be denounced.

And yes I am comparing where we are now in the UK with Germany in the Weimar years.

Sometimes you have to protect your own sanity first. Not sure what else you think you'd be giving up.

I'm with you at the starting point and think I know where you're coming from. Brexit and Jeremy Corbyn (who I want to love but don't) have made me ask a lot of questions of myself. I've also gradually realised that whatever people think, they'll think it, come hell or high water. I have teacher friends who vote Tory, farming friends who vote Labour, they think what they think and no amount of debate or facts will shake them. I think I'm the sensible one and sooner or later I'll get what I voted for, but I haven't yet! I've been wondering what the point is. I had a word with myself, went the other way and joined Friends of the Earth and a few other small actions. At least it's something!

Sorry op but I think you are being a bit over dramatic. Life has always been hard for the vast majority of the population, we are born, we live and then we die there isn't any point to it.

The best way to deal with it is to live the best life you can. Deal with other people kindly and respectfully, try not to consume too much and take responsibility for your own life and health.

You can't change the whole world but you can affect your bit of it.

Time to fight for what you believe in, not give up.

You say life is for the wealthy...i know plenty of miserable wealthy people...one or two have killed themselves.

I also think you can look out for yourself and be a leftie.

Whatever happens Brexit supporters will never accept responsibility.

A no deal Brexit will be the fault of the EU.
Economic disaster will be the fault of EU.
Any problems will be the fault of the EU.

It will never be their fault, they will blame politicians, the media, the internet, next doors cat.

So you may as well do the right thing and support the right cause.

When we huddle together for warmth as their fires go out at least we will have done the right thing.

Keep your values but practice them on a really small local scale. Ultimately progressive people believe in kindness. Look after your family, your immediate neighbors, your own recycling... this is valuable and when you feel less low you can aim a bit bigger again

But don’t give up

(I also feel sooo depressed about the pettiness and dogma of being left wing, but you can remove yourself from that bullshit without giving up on your values)

Oh whoops fairyliz already said it!