to get annoyed at people who say 'a happy mummy equals a happy baby'....

[jacl]

This really annoys me. It is often accompanied by the comment ' babies should fit into your life, you shouldn't have to fit in to their's'
Often used as a reason not to breastfeed or not to persist when it is difficult in the early days. It drives me mad that so many people expect a baby to be an accessory that does everything by the book.
In my opinion the people who feel like this are trying to make themselves feel better about putting their own needs ahead of their babies. Have they never heard of feeding on demand???
Surely a small baby can't, in a lot of ways, be expected to fit into your life. A small baby is only aware of it's own needs.
I know that eventually parents need their own time and space but surely not in the early months.

oH FUCK OFF

what!!

Message withdrawn

[hmmmmmm]

Meant to add that i know a mother's happiness is important too but if a mother is happy to be out drinking and partying all night or whatever is that supposed to make the baby happy too?

its a hapy medium i expect.

its not all one
or
all the other

its not
baby must fit around me

or
i must devote my being and soul and every waking breath to baby.

there is a middle place. which you will al ofcourse ignore in your forthcoming rantings

i think sweeping generalisations are a Bad Thing

women have issues breastfeeding, and that sort of attitude can really make them feel even worse....

not everyone parents the same way. or has the same expectation of family life

so yes, you are being unreasonable

Message withdrawn

sounding very mellow tonight custy

we've done this before: www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=67&threadid=285374

I have no intention of ranting. I believe in the middle ground too. I recently had my first baby and decided to breastfeed. I really didn't get much support from friends/family. Just a lot of negative comments about being a prisoner in my own house, baby hanging off me again.

yanbu, it is a meaningless platitude, but unhappy mummy probably does equal unhappy baby
voting with custy tonight

"I recently had my first baby". That figures. When your baby is a grumpy tantrumming toddler, you may see there is a middle ground.

where are all these mothers, drunk and out partying all night, neglecting their new borns???

Some people make decisions based on the fact that their 'un' happiness is real emotional distress, PND, utter misery at trying to bf and it not working, or just not coping with some or all of it.

Sometimes there are then difficult and often guilt filled decisions to be made, and people may say this phrase - and it can be true.

It's a bit snide to lump it all into a picture of a selfish person who is out partying and treating a baby like an accessory. I don't think i've met anyone like that.

Message withdrawn

not where i live, cod, not where i live.

anyhoo, compromise and everything in modertaion and chacun a son gout and each to their own

yadah yadah blah blah

etc

I am a particularly smug and brilliant mother I decided to fit my life around my baby. Sorry but I do believe a happy mummy makes a happy baby. If you are happy with your choices of parenting and stay relaxed then your child will follow suit.

yeah i wanted everything to be perfect when i had my first baby too....

now my 5th is 16 weeks old and has to be asleep by 8.30 pm,cos if i didnt get a couple of hours to myself in the evening i wouldnt be an unhappy mummy,i'd be a mummy in the nut house

I would love to be pissed in a gutter

ahem, lulumama, plenty of mums round my way seem to manage to keep their evening social life going at a cracking pace, god only knows where they get the energy from

diva, 5 kids, how lovely.

really morocco? maybe it is just my road then !!

Well there's certainly more chance of happy mummy and happy baby if those around you give support for your choices and try to make things easier for you, so from that point of view yanbu.