to be really sad and upset by this

[lonelyandangry]

i can't stop crying about this as my dd has written in her french school book that she lives with the former OW and has called her 'mother' and said she lives with her father half brothers but she lives with me and always has done. i saw it when i checked her room for laundry and her school books were on her bed.

they are not half brothers but step brothers

How old is DD? I would try not to take it personally although I can see why it's upsetting it's probably more to do with fitting in or showing off than a slight on you.

she's 12.

Of course you are sad but 12 is a mixed up age. She’s trying out different versions of her life.

She knows who her mum is.

If she lives with you alone, could it just be because that gave her more to write in French- I.e a paragraph rather than one line?

Is it just the two of you at home? If she was writing about her family she probably had more to write about her father’s house, more people etc. I can understand why you are upset though.

Also maybe she just didn’t know the French for step mum and step brother?
You need to be the bigger person here and try to be grateful she feels so happy in both her homes however much it hurts.

It's me, a brother and 2 cats.

It sounds like your DD is adding Drama, her life with you must be so settled and happy it becomes a tad unremarkable for story telling. Don't be upset.

If it's in French it's prob more likely it's just because that's how she knew what to say and it was a longer sentence! I used to talk nonsense in French writing things, saying a did horse riding and had been on holiday, for no reason other than that's the words I could remember to say!

I used to make up all sorts in languages in school because it was easier to say than the reality (and my dad was quite pleased with being a pretend postman). I understand why you're upset but I really wouldn't read too much into it.

Also children can be sods about writing stuff in their books about home depending on what their mood is at the time of writing.
My DD recently had to describe her room for her homework and she wrote that it was cold, empty and miserable because she was cross with me for making her do her homework!

DS1 writes all sorts of stuff in his French and Spanish books that isn't true - because it allows him to write more and use the vocabulary he has been learning. The other day he wrote about his holiday last year, barely a word of it was actually true but that wasn't really the point of the exercise iyswim. He's written about relatives that don't exist, claimed his parents and family have all sort of jobs that we don't - if they say 'But sir, I didn't go on holiday' the teacher says 'Well make it up then, just show me you know what we've covered'. I did exactly the same during my language lessons many years ago.

Could this be the case here?

How do you know she was talking about the other woman and not you if she just wrote maman?

My DSD once wrote a piece about her family - parents, step-parents, youngest brother, grandparents, their pets. Completely omitted her elder brother. (They don’t get on, even now.)
Chances are your DD either chose to, or was encouraged to by her teacher, wrote about a more ‘complex’ home for higher marks. She probably didn’t know the word for ‘step’. Try not to take it to heart OP.

when my dd was doing languages, they just wrote what was interesting and had more vocabulary, it didn’t have to be true. Also the whole class could be practicing sentences and paragraphs. She may just be using extended vocabulary, writing lots of different paragraphs. In later years, she wrote about relationships with family members, and it was just to use different vocabulary, tenses etc. “My mother is always critical of me and my father is a workaholic.”

Maybe she just wrote that because it provided more opportunity to practice her French?

PS DSD also made up things in French because she couldn’t remember the real word. I’m pretty sure I did the same. It’s not uncommon.

In GCSE German I had to write a piece about my family. I decided since mine were very ordinary and boring (yes I know but I was 15!) I’d make up an entirely fictional family and write about that instead. Made for a good essay, and my mum laughed when the teacher told her.

The essay was supposed to show your command of the language not necessarily be an accurate representation of your family life.

How do you know she was talking about the other woman and not you if she just wrote maman?

Because she wrote "I live with my mother, father, half brother" etc
I am feeling better about it now. she doesn't know i am upset as she's out with friends and i won't be saying anything.
thanks.

I used to teach MFL and I would always tell the children with an exercise like this "It doesn't have to be true, you can make it up or write about an imaginary family" etc. In the absence of any other info I would definitely not rule out the idea that the decided to or was asked to use a wider range of vocabulary so chose to incorporate step family etc. I can understand why it hurts though. Hugs

Maybe it's more interesting to explain that way in French. I used to change my situation to the vocab I could actually remember

Likely she has
1- invented a story to tell - that’s what my own dcs have done. To make it a bit more complex but also because actually they dont always want to say what they have been doing in RL.
2- she was missing some vocabulary for step mum etc....
3- there might have been a bit of wishful thinking there too.

Don’t take it personally. It will have noth8ng to do with you iyswim

I agree it's because she could use the vocabulary she knew. When I was at school we had a terrifying teacher and could only speak in French during the French lesson. She used to ask us what we had in our packed lunches every day. I would only ever take food that I knew the vocabulary for.

Don't worry, it is just to make her sentences more interesting. I asked my son directly, he laughed and said he had to write longer sentences and his life was so boring he made stuff up.