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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel disappointed I wasn’t asked?

55 replies

IThinkIJustShatMyself · 19/01/2019 20:58

I’ll start by saying I know IABU, but I feel really shit about it so just trying to get some perspective. I’ve know my best friend since I was born. Our mums met on the maternity ward and we’ve been close ever since. She’s Godmother to my kids, I was a bridesmaid at her wedding, just walk into each others house without knocking sort of close. Last night I had a meal at my house to celebrate my birthday. Just me and my family, her and her sister and their families. At the meal, my BF asked her sister and husband if they would be Godparents to her baby son. The sister’s boyfriend immediately asked if I was being Godparent as well, and she said no, they were asking another couple who have recently inherited some money so are a better choice?!
The thing is, I’m really hurt by all of this! We’ve been so close for years and I know it’s their choice who they choose, but I honestly thought it would be me! It wouldn’t have been so bad if they hadn’t done it in front of me, especially when they’ve just spent Christmas together!
I’m just being stupid feeling sorry for myself aren’t I?

OP posts:
Lymphy · 19/01/2019 21:10

Ah No I’d be upset at that as well, especially as they are asking others based purely on the fact they’ve inherited money!! That’s not a reason to choose Godparents,

Returnofthesmileybar · 19/01/2019 21:17

No yanbu, as you say they can choose who they like but the way the announced it was pretty shit of them. It was insensitive, bad timing and the fact they are asking another couple because of money and having the brass neck to openly admit it is pretty shocking

Alpacanorange · 19/01/2019 21:18

Yanbu to be upset, she sounds quite stupid and hurtful to have this conversation in front you.
I hope the noveau riche friends perform as she expects, (not) what a vile reason to choose a godparent.

HomeMadeMadness · 19/01/2019 21:20

YANBU she sounds very insensitive.

Celebelly · 19/01/2019 21:22

What the heck does inheriting money have to do with being a godparent? How mercenary.

ShinyRuby · 19/01/2019 21:22

How hurtful & to just come out with it at your birthday meal. YANBU to feel upset. Some things are so much more important than how much money someone has. She was really tactless to even bring the subject up if she knew she wasn't going to ask you.

MrsWillGardner · 19/01/2019 21:23

she said no, they were asking another couple who have recently inherited some money so are a better choice?!

She actually said this??

Notagainmun · 19/01/2019 21:25

Bit shit of your friend to announce this in your presence and what a materialistic cow. Shake it off and treat yourself to a nice glass of something delicious.

Hassled · 19/01/2019 21:25

Oh that's dreadful - of course you're upset. And the money thing just makes her sound so shallow - you must feel disappointed in her as much as anything else. She's maybe not the person you thought she was? That's going to be hard to process.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 19/01/2019 21:25

She asked other people to be Godparents at your birthday meal?! Hardly the time or the place...

CoughLaughFart · 19/01/2019 21:27

If she’s choosing godparents based on the presents, she really isn’t taking it very seriously. I don’t blame you for being offended, but I don’t think she’ll have realised.

ShadyLady53 · 19/01/2019 21:29

Very hurtful thing to do at your birthday meal...I feel for you OP, no wonder you feel down about it.

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 19/01/2019 21:29

She sounds like a dick

Original poster
IThinkIJustShatMyself · 19/01/2019 21:34

Thanks everyone. I wasn’t sure if I was just being pathetic. I was really expecting to be asked, it was such a shock, I just tried to smile

OP posts:
Juells · 19/01/2019 21:39

The older I get the more I think that friends from childhood aren't always as two-way as we like to think. They're not friends we've actually chosen, they've just sort of 'always been there'. Might be worth pulling back just a bit.

Drum2018 · 19/01/2019 21:41

How many godparents does the child need? Surely the one couple - sister and her bil - are sufficient.

Maelstrop · 19/01/2019 21:44

They have poor etiquette to ask in front of you. Poorly done by your friend.

SpeedyBojangles · 19/01/2019 21:45

What has money got to do with being a Godparent?!

Atthebottomofthegarden · 19/01/2019 21:47

I thought it was traditional to have two godparents of the same sex and one of the opposite. So the baby boy would have 2 godfathers and 1 godmother. But often not done like that these days of course, and people often have a couple as godparents.

YANBU by the way given what she said, but if she was going the traditional route and having just one godmother it would be very natural for this to be her sister not you.

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/01/2019 21:48

Better choice because they had money!!! I'd be upset but try not to let it impact on our friendship. I'd rather godparents offered time were interested in the child than had money.

Rudgie47 · 19/01/2019 21:55

I wouldn't be bothered that I hadn't been chosen, people can choose who they want. But that about the money just takes the biscuit!. It says a lot about who she is and she has thought very little about you here.
I'd be pulling back from her.

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 19/01/2019 21:56

she said no, they were asking another couple who have recently inherited some money so are a better choice?!

Somehow I suspect that she is not a practising Christian despite the godparents. Nor should she be asking godparents at your birthday meal.

Trashy as fuck.

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 19/01/2019 21:57

What an absolute horror of a so called friend! If she values money over years of friendship, loyalty and close relationships then she honestly doesn’t deserve to be either your friend or godmother to your children. A godparent is more than a bloody cash cow, they have an important role in overseeing the continued religious education of a child in the event that something happens to both parents.

To snub you like that, on your birthday, in front of others was bloody cruel and she has shown her true colours. Surely she realises that just because her other friends now have an inheritance, does not mean that her child will see a penny of it!

I would call her out on it and tell her that she has shown herself to be a selfish, money grabbing and shallow human being. Tell her that she doesn’t deserve your friendship or a place in your children’s lives.

Echobelly · 19/01/2019 21:59

Wow, what, so being a Godparent is supposed to be about buying the kid expensive presents or something? What an awful reason to give for a choice!

Gth1234 · 19/01/2019 22:02

I take it you are all religious. Is this dealt with in the good book?

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