AIBU to ask if BIL/SIL/MIL/FIL ever helped you clean?

[Flyingfish2019]

Just wondering. BIL spends a lot of time here and has sometimes helped us clean though I told him he should not do it. Hasn’t ever happened to somebody else?

Yep. In our case though it's mainly gardening. He and his partner can't just sit still but need to be doing something.

Mine all visited when we'd been home for two days with our prem newborn twins and dd age 3. They stayed three nights and I think made me one cup of tea. They were very tired so had a nap each afternoon too. No, they didn't clean

@motherofdragons That sucks. With a newborn you need help so much.

MIL would love to help out but I don't let her. When I had a newborn and she came to help she was brilliant. Used to take the baby after I fed him, make me toast and poached eggs, do whatever was needed. I love her.

BIL has painted/wallpapered for us when staying with us.

Wait, but if they're your in-laws then they're also helping your partner to clean?
Who (hetero-assumption alert), is likely male?

Otherwise it's like asking if your mother, sister etc has helped your husband clean?

Yes when they stay I tend to cook and they tend to clean up. Empty the dishwasher and put away most of the stuff where they know where it goes. His mum is a clean freak though and has been known to clean cups of tea away while you're in the middle of drinking them!

BILs and my brothers came here to help us paint/wallpaper/move furniture too. I think it was very nice.

When MIL watches my children she tidied up the lunch dishes they use (which I don't expect but think it's very thoughtful) she doesn't clean generally though.

If I was at my sister's and they were cleaning and I wanted to stay I couldn't sit and do nothing so would join in. Can't say this has happened often. I have occasionally tidied up a bit if babysitting as I get bored.

No. MIL did some ironing when my prem baby was 4 weeks old.

MIL has cleaned our flat when we've been away on holiday and have asked her to check the place/collect mail. The first time she did it, it was strange but coming back from honeymoon to a sparkling home was lovely. She really enjoys cleaning though!

That does sound very nice OP. We have had friends and family help paint too. What is the aibu?

I have 2u2 and mil and fil come once a week with food for dinner. Fil mops and hoovers our floors and mil cleans up after dinner and cleans the kitchen. It's really handy

@LL83 The AIBU is: AIBU to think it is odd that he helps us clean?

My MiL and FiL both regularly insist on helping out with household chores - cleaning, washing up etc. My BiL, and my brother and dad have all helped us with DiY, and gardening also.

My mil came over a few times to cook us food and washed up afterwards when our colicky baby was a newborn. And my SIL hung up our washing once. But that's about it. We don't really need help with that stuff and nor do they, but I'm sure help would be available if asked.

@Wondertweek. I think we do not reallyreally help too... at least I hope that our house does not look tinned down... that is why it makes me feel so uncomfortable... OTOH PILs are need freaks and I guess they brought him up

brought him up that way.

MIL watches the kids at ours a day a week when we are at work. It's like having a housekeeper she does the dishes, sorts a laundry load and does various other bits. At first I found it a bit annoying (don't know why) but now I love it.

For the sake of clarity I don't ask for or expect it but it's really helpful.

My MIL gives me her cleaner's weekly hours once or twice a year. It used to annoy me as it felt like a hint! But now I'm so tired and exhausted I just say thank you!

I don't think it's odd. It's family, they help out when needed or it would be nice if they did.

Yes! First, one of my SILs can't sit down for 5 mins or see a crumb without whipping out a cloth. So on the rare occasion she visits she cleans up! We have a big family so its common the adults chip in a bit with washing up etc
Once I had to move house with a 2 week old baby and a 4 yo, husband had to work, and i was quite ill so some of my SILs and a nephew came and cleaned my rented house after I left. My 14yo nephew jokily told me he'd cleaned my toilet and had I ever seen a loo brush, I was mortified, the cheeky sod.

If my mum is babysitting she tends to do something like empty the dishwasher or take the clothes off the airers and fold them.

When MIL babysits it generally looks like a bomb has gone off. She actively encourages the kids to make lots of mess.

MIL does our ironing when she comes to stay. She is usually here because I am away with work, so she keeps on top of laundry, cooks etc.

My BIL is a narcissistic sociopath, who will never step foot in my house, so he doesn't do anything for me.

My brother and his partner, on the other hand, stayed with us for a while (3 months full time and still have a room that is 'theirs') and helped with cleaning bathrooms, hoovering, cooking, child wrangling, shopping, laundry etc. His decision to help us progress our DIY was less appreciated at the time, but was worth it in the end!

BIL is here every weekend (annoying but they are very close). He rarely does housework in his own flat, so there's no way he'd do any housework at ours He just wouldn't think to do it.