AIBU to ask if BIL/SIL/MIL/FIL ever helped you clean?

[Flyingfish2019]

Just wondering. BIL spends a lot of time here and has sometimes helped us clean though I told him he should not do it. Hasn’t ever happened to somebody else?

@Eggysmom annoying but they are very close
I sometimes do think exactly like this about BIL and that’s why it feels so odd when he helps with the cleaning.

How lucky you all are! I should be so fucking lucky with my in laws. The last time my BIL house sat the cat when we were on holiday sat I spent 2 days cleaning up after him 😬

@elvisparsley

Interesting! A narracisitic sociopath what's one of those!

No - MIL has complained things aren't clean/tidy enough, but never helped. She seldom babysits at ours, partly as she'd just moan about the tidiness.

MIL comes to look after DC when they are too ill for nursery. She always cleans while she's here.

MIL and FIL do, and so does my DM. When I was a kid my DGP used to come down and help her when she had small kids, and now she wants to help us in the same way. We have two under four.

Haha nope. MIL doesn't even clean her own house. Its gross. There's no way she would do anything around ours. FIL thinks cleaning is women's work so he wouldn't either.

They've never helped us with anything, but then again, we don't need anything. They've never shown any interest in DH and were barely in contact before DS was born. During DS's first year MiL was always around but she lost interest once he got past the baby stage. They have never babysat, which is fine, as they're under no obligation. But the boot's on the other foot too, as neither are we. I tried to foster a relationship initially, saw no point later in trying to force one, consider that I've failed, and am easy with that. His relatives are who they are (most of mine are dead); and we work with that, rather than working with what we hoped/wished could be the case.

I would never let pil help. One was disabled and the other was quite old-2nd marriage, older parents, plus I liked to look after them.

My dm is quite hands on. She house sat while we were on honeymoon (lots of her friends live nearby, she doesn’t) and told me how she used a cat tin lid to get the limescale off the loo. I’m pretty convinced Toilet Duck would’ve done the same job!

When my dB and sil come for a weekend they will help tidy up/clean up after after meals.

My mil when she looked after the kids and they were babies she would do some housework but that stopped when the kids were older and more work.

My in laws don’t clean but are great at helping with decorating and practical things.

My parents will clean, wash, iron etc. As in cleaning away a meal or something not full on cleaning but we have cleaners so they don’t need to.

I don’t think it’s weird - it’s just family helping each other.

DH and I both work more than full time, have 2 DC and some health problems. Every once in a blue moon we come home to discover that my ILs broke in and cleaned the kitchen while we were out when they came to borrow something or drop something off.

We're always eternally grateful!

MIL and FIL are both completely sedentary and would never lift a finger to help with anything, they expect to be waited on. They don't get invited round very often.

My MiL often cleans or does some washing when she comes round or empties the tumble dryer. It’s very helpful.
She was also on hand when I sent her a text in the summer and said I had a surprise annual leave afternoon so was emptying the loft if she fancied coming round to throw away some junk. She was round about half an hour later!

No. My mil visited when I was just out of the hospital after c-sec, sat with her feet up, asked my husband (her son) to put the kettle on, told fil to shout upstairs (while I was injecting myself anti-coaggulant) and ask me to get him a drink.

True story.

I think sometimes when staying with people you have more spare time than when at home as always something to do then. Offering is fine, insisting on cleaning someone else's house isn't

None of mine have even been to my house, let alone help me clean!

When my DC's were small my Dm had them one day a week and so did Mil---- while we were at work.
My Dm would always have dinner ready, have fed and bathed the kids, done the ironing, tidied toys away, made up feeds, whizzed up baby food.
When I got home after Mil had them there would be toys spread in every room, (Lego in my bed, ouch,) weetabix down radiators, in the kids hair and up their nose kids were often still in the same baby grow I'd left them in. They always adored her and have never been as close to my Dm. Too much like anothermotha
I used to make sure DH got home first.

Oh bugger sorry for all the slashy out bits. Not sure what happened there!

When we first moved in to our new home, Pil, Bil's and their partners turned up with clothes, sprays, hammers, nails and screwdrivers and got to work. I had an 8 month old DD and couldn't have been more greatful. Our house is only small so we go to them more than they come to us but on the rare occasions they are here or DB comes with Dsil and DN, they'll happily do dishes after I've cooked, or sort a load of laundrey while I see to the kids. And I do the same at theirs, I just see it as what families do but know others might not be the same as us