To think my house guest is BU?

[GunpowderGelatine]

Have my mum as house guest staying for a week at the moment. But of a strained relationship - dread her visits as she doesn't contribute to food, petrol etc and will buy milk but get the £1.50 off me for it when she's here.

My brother has driven through from his home 2 hours away and I wanted to get food in for when he arrived. Went in the car to M&S food to get a few nibbly bits (this was for lunchtime, we're off out for an evening meal). DS fell asleep on the way so mum went in to get bits, it was agreed she'd go half, I said that's fine just get some pizzas, quiches etc. Said don't get sweet stuff we have loads that needs eating (cheesecake etc).

She spent £110!!!!

We had, among other things, 3 full medium sized cakes, crates of beer, bottles of Prosecco (DH And I don't drink) beef joints, mango slices and watermelon slices at £4 a pack each, a fucking roulade and ONE pizza.

Now she's asking me for £55 contribution. WIBU to tell her fuck off no. I was expecting to spend £15-£20 and would have been happy to pay for it all myself, she offered to go halves.

“Yes, mum, i’ll go halves on the pizza I asked you to buy. Here’s £2.”

Did you tell her that you had a budget?

I would pay half for the items you said you wanted. Definitely don't pay for the alcohol if you don't drink, nor for the cakes as you specified no sweet stuff.

Tell her she can bring those things home with her or eat them all herself, but you don't need them, won't use them and therefore aren't paying for them.

Wow YANBU! Bet she plans on taking the alcohol home and this is a cheeky way of getting half her shopping for free. Tell her to do one.

Don't pay for the booze, sweet stuff and cakes.
If you weren't specific beyond pizza, quiche etc then sorry but you will have to suck it up and pay half for the rest.
If you gave her a specific list, then pay half of that. You didn't ask for the extra stuff.

Just give her your contribution for whatever you asked her to buy. The rest is her choice, so she can pay for it.

Total piss take! Get the receipt and minus off all of the alcohol and the sweet stuff and the very least, then give her half, she's trying it on big time

Fuck no.

Mum, I required a couple of bits for lunch, out of all of the stuff you bought, the ONE pizza was a contribution to that lunch, I will have to nip back and get what else we need for that meal.

The rest sounds like your weekly shop, much of which myself and DH- never mind the kids would not touch, so no, we absolutely will not go halves, but as you are SO interested in ensuring everyone pays their way.

The pizza will cover your cost of travel to M&S and back,
But you owe me,
£20 per night for the room you are staying in.
£2 for breakfast each day
£4 for lunch each day
£5 per night for dinner
£2 towards milk, sugar, tea bags.
£5 towards the water bill
£29 towards gas and electric.

Absolute cheeky fucker

Honestly why do you have her to stay? Tell her in future she can get a hotel. Stop being a mug she sounds awful.

Just say no that wasn’t what we agreed and as you’re staying for a week and making no contribution, crack on and pay for your extravagant shop yourself!

I would just be honest with her about it.

Why so much booze for a lunch time?
Also what are you going to eat for lunch with that lot? Sounds like your need to spend more money to get a meal together.

Tell her she is a cheeky fucker and you will be only paying for the pizza and the other stuff you said to get.

what is it with cf mothers atm?

mine is similar + expects to be waited on
luckily she rarely visits

op yanbu
give her a tenner for half of your share

Obviously buying all the stuff is crazy but why are you calling your dm a house guest like she is some one you barely know. And if she is visiting why has she to contribute if she is your guest? In my experience dms come to visit and get treated and looked after without paying.
Her going into the supermarket on a shopping spree is mad. Bring it all back especially the booze.

I would not pay for the sweet stuff or drink, and question why she bought all that? Does she hope you'll let her take it all home if it's not used? The rest I would pay half for and ask to see the receipt.

I'm honestly just amazed than anyone would ask their child for £1.50 for some milk when they are being put up for a week (or under almost any circumstances really). I'd refuse to pay for the shopping I think. She's going to keep being a CF unless you deal with her very firmly. That's the only thing that people like her respond to. She will sulk or maybe throw a strop, but the alternative is that you put up with these incidents forever.

I'd go through the receipt, mark the items you are prepared to pay for (so not the booze or the desserts) and give her half of what they came to. Tell her that the other items were entirely her choice to buy and you cannot afford to buy her luxuries on top of the food and board you are already providing gratis for the week.

Ask her "Mum, who is the wine and beer for? You know DH and I don't drink so I won't be paying for that. As for the other stuff, we won't be eating it so I have no idea why you bought it but as we won't be eating it, we won't be paying for it either. So, with that in mind, half of the price of the pizza is £2 so there you go. Perhaps the next time you're going shopping, you might want to take a shopping list so you don't stray so far away from what we need into what you think we might like but actually don't or won't eat or use".

Next time, suggest she stays in a nearby hotel or B&B.

Just say here's a fiver for the lunch stuff.

End of.

Like PP say I'll go halves on the lunch stuff so that's 15 max but I'm not contributing to the stuff you bought for yourself.

I'd only pay half of what you asked her to get. What a CF.

It's so cheeky it's funny, sorry OP!

I feel your pain - we have guests that come to stay for weeks at a time (we are a long flight away from the UK), and let's just say that some are better at contributing to house hold costs than others

Put it this way, if she expected a non smoker to go halves on a packet of fags, she’d get short shrift.

Absobloodylutely! Pay half for the lunch stuff and that's it. If she doesn't like it she's welcome to leave.

If she's asking for £1.50 for milk, I would look her in the eye and say ''Are you taking the piss having a laugh? If we're playing that game, we're actually in credit with you for lifts/laundry/hot water etc - do you really want to go down this road?"*

*I have done this with a family member who had 6 x my income, a large mortgage free property, cash bought £30k car. He wanted 90p off me. At the time I was on basic ESA & waiting for Housing Benefit after becoming disabled.

Sometimes I am baffled at what some people get from a post
Did you tell her that you had a budget?

£110 for a few nibbles for lunch for a family, mostly pizza is not having a budget.
She bought 1 pizza.
Ridiculous shopping trip.
And some poster thinks that somehow this is OP's fault for not telling her mum "oh please spend less than £100"
Is the world mad?