To think people treat you differently because you rent

[festigirl14]

I rent- i’d rather own a house but circumstances/costs have prevented it so far. I have a professional career, earn a good salary, my kids are well rounded, we are normal people.
But people are SO snotty about it- there’s an underlying ‘you aren’t as good as us/ you aren’t a full member of society’ attitude that I find really weird. Maybe I am more sensitive but I have had people treat me with pity over it- like there is something wrong with me. ‘Poor you, paying dead miney’ Etc. That I have failed in the ladder of life. I don’t have family money to help out & I am priced out. It’s as simple as that.
Aibu? Does anyone else get this?

What does happen when you retire while living in a private rented property? Genuine question.

I don't treat people differently but tbh I do think "thank God I was lucky enough to buy when I did". Hopefully it doesnt cross my face though!

I have found this. When I moved into the current property I am in, the previous tenants warned us that the neighbours won't talk to us and will take an active dislike because they don't like renters.

I personally didn't believe a word of it however it's turned out to be true. One of them won't even acknowledge I exist even when I've signed parcels for her. She'll knock on my door, I'll see it's her so pick up the parcel and she'll grab it out of my hands and walk off. They will also go straight to the landlord if there's a problem, even the smallest thing which is annoying him. He's said they've told him they don't want to talk to renters, only homeowners.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Totally agree. Rented for ten years. Loved the flexibility you got. Also my fav moment when moving in washing machine broke whilst landlord there so dh and i left poor landlord fixing it and popped out for lunch. Popped back and he had it mended but cost him alot of money. Worse aspect....estate agents..one was found in the flat looking through my underwear drawer. He had no right to be there. And the fact the landlord could move back if he broke up with his boyfriend (happened to us)

See I think renters are awesome have freedom to get up move go travelling and freedom to move about with jobs.

@laiste it’s a big issue. My DP’s mum rents at 85 & gets her rent paid by housing benefit- it could be massive tho given the number of people renting. I have a very good private pension & as much as I hate to say this, I will inherit money which will probably be enough to buy a flat/ small house somewhere cheaper! That’s my plan anyway!

It is a thing. I see it on our residents group on FB. Some awful attitudes from some having to point out they OWN their property, one even made a point of owning unlike some others being in social housing in her street.
I think it's the Hyacinth Bucket types that think like this though.

@Laiste housing benefit pays for retired renters. But I wouldn't rely on that being a guarantee for the future with the way things are going.

I rent and I hate it but I also don't have savings or much of a pension. I am saving to buy as I want some security for the future.

I'm quite shocked reading this - I must be bloody naive I think! I have owned property since I was 23 as buying was cheaper than renting basically but that was years ago!

I would never look down on people who rent (in fact I'm impressed they can afford it more often than not) - and find it odd to make assumptions about what people are 'like' on this basis. You never know about finances / property ownership either, I know people who rent in UK but own abroad for example.

This kind of thing actually addles my brain - what's wrong with people?!? Good God!

I do notice that I think people treat me differently when I'm driving our tiny little cheap car as opposed to the big shiny expensive car. Same thing I guess. It's ridiculous. I always get perverse pleasure out of this though because if I think people are judging me based on the car the laughs are all on them. People are shallow.

Not really found this other than from my sister. Our parents gave her a deposit and she thinks this makes her better than me.

I totally get this! I always feel like a second class citizen because we rent. Not that it matters, because no one needs a back story to explain why they rent, but we used to own a house. Then we wanted a baby, and couldn't have one, so we sold the house to free up some money to pay for fertility treatment. Suddenly, having money tied up in a house we couldn't fill with children that we wanted seemed a bit pointless, so we took a gamble and sold it.

We're now expecting our second child, and I don't even give our old house a second thought. In fact, I love this house, even though it's not technically mine, because it enabled us to get what we really wanted.

I hate the attitude we get though, I pay more in rent than my mortgage used to cost, so what's the problem?!

I don't understand why people would judge people on wether they own or rent. I judge people on who they are not where they live, what they own or what they earn.

Although I did have a friend who used to constantly go on about how much she earns ( but never gave a figure) how her job title was amazing. She then moved into a 2 bed semi ( rented it off a family member )and was given a company car, then professed every time we met up how "middle class " she was now having a semi detached house and 2 cars lol some people are just like that (even if a little misguided lol )

Some tenants are also landlords. How do these judgey people know that anyone renting doesn't own a home elsewhere? I know a few people who own a house but rent it out and rent a small house or flat elsewhere to live in

the problem is that some people put everybody in the same bag.

SOME tenants are horrendous, take absolutely no care of the house because it's not theirs - from drying laundry on radiators to trashing the place, refusing entrance to fix things and so on. There's a thread at the moment where tenants refuse to give access to allow the gas inspection.

Apart from that, I really haven't seen anyone looking down at renters. Maybe it's down to the circle you are in. Around here, most tenants are expats, people who like the freedom of renting, and who knows. It really is not an issue.

Retirement is an issue, that's true. And yes, there's housing benefit but that is reduced by any private pension payments you get, so there's a disincentive to have any at all, which leads to other problems. Basically, unless your pension is going to pay out more than £170 + your rent every week, there's no point in having a private pot. People on housing benefit can't have more than £6000 in savings either. So basically unless you can afford to pay a lot into a pension, renting in retirement means having very little cushion.

My friend lost job and lost house so couldn’t claim any benefit to cover mortgage so lost house, if renting she still have a home.

Actually, scrub that. Pensioners have to pay council tax as well don't they. If they were on housing benefit they'd get council tax relief.

So unless your pension pays more than rent (in the SE what's rent on a one bedroom place? £300 a week or so?) + council tax (at least £30) + £170 a week - I make that £500 a week, £26k - it isn't worth your while having it.

I couldn't care less if my neighbours own or rent, I would care about bad neighbours regardless of whether they own or rent. Luckily we live in a quiet cul de sac where people mind their own business.
I wonder if those that rent imagine an attitude that isn't there.

Wow if people actually judge you for that sort of thing that is absolutely pathetic. I've not come across this but I am in my twenties. I'd use this as a good way to filter out people I don't want in my life. There's nothing worse than a snob.

@Leiladarling

Totally agree and are made to feel inferior regularly - example saw a neighbour the other day that said “I can’t believe how nicely you keep the house when you are only tenants”. We take pride in our home regardless of whether we rent or own.

Yeah, I know several people who rent social housing and one who rents privately who have had shit like this said to them. A few people who rent bungalows and houses in the village I live in (formerly built for private sale but bought by council for their housing stock, as I said earlier,) say THEY have had people saying they are shocked that they rent, because the house and garden are so nice. Like renters are not capable of keeping the house and garden decent!

As for the comments about @romathehippo

I probably would think you didn’t get your life in order tbh. Unless you’re forced to live with London you can buy and commute. It makes no sense to me to have accommodation that could be taken away from you at any point (seen it happen to a few people) and that isn’t really yours. In the uk renting never provides you with a home that’s as secure as a home you own.

How judgemental! And FGS, What planet are you on? Do you seriously think everyone who rents their home just simply can't get their life together? What a naive, ignorant statement. Have you thought that some people don't WANT to buy, or some people cannot afford to deposit for a house because they don't have the good fortune to be bankrolled by parents or receive an inheritance?

And no, you AREN'T guaranteed a home for life, and security if you decide to buy a home. I know many people who have been repossessed/gone bankrupt and forced into private let.

It is your choice though and even if I judge it shouldn’t really make you feel any differently. It’s still your choice to rent.

How BIG of you!

Only the 'wannabe middle classes' will be snooty about renters. You know, the people who have a 4 bed executive home with 2 en suites and an integral garage, a £30K car on the drive (on finance,) and a mortgage til they're 70!

@WinterfellWench you literally completely described my snotty neighbour to a tee 😂

I've had it a lot in the past to be honest, a combination of stupid decisions in my twenties, a crap with money Exdh and a company failing due to a stroke means I'm a renter

I've come across not only directly offensive comments but faux concern "but it's so unstable, what will you do if xyz ahhhhhh" stupidity

I find it laughable , many countries it's quite unusual to buy property and most rent but here it is just another terribly silly reason for sad silly people to consider they are more important than others

The instability does scare me but then if we bought a blown boiler would scare me so it is what it is

I do lose instant respect for anyone who looks down on it though

I enjoyed a recent conversation though where the majority of our senior management team turned out to be renting not having been able to buy ....gicen there are those who think we earn a lot of money made me smile a little

It's just not a thing ultimately.. unless the judgey loos have so terribly little in their lives they feel the need to rely on this to feel superior

If someone told me that they rented, I wouldn’t look down on them in the slightest.

But I do have to admit that without exception, all the worst neighbours I’ve ever had - in terms of noise, cleanliness etc - have been tenants.

Thinking about it, that could be explained by the fact that tenants are also frequently students.

I find that people in our estate treat us differently because we renot, we were fitting in just fine, then told we didn’t really need to be involved in neighbourhood events, being renters we probably wouldn’t stay, not like the ones who had bought their home, and will contribute to making the estate a lovely community to bring their kids up in, funny that, given that my husband oversaw the build of most of our estate, and although he no longer works for the developer does go and help people out if they’re ever having a problem with any aspect of their homes, often just little things, but we have both got quite involved, and have always been neighbourly not to mention, as “transients” we’ve stayed far longer than many who bought, and we will do until we have a decent chunk of savings to put down as a deposit on a house.

There’s a few parents at the school who assumed we owned, when I corrected one, I was quite quickly put into the “poor” box, and I have had to deal with comments like how my car couldn’t possibly be as good as hers, I don’t even own a house (my car IS better, like hers but is 4 years newer) and no it’s not special, and endless comments about being poor.

Also a dad at the school assumed we owned then started talking about renters (he has an estate agency) and I just felt like I couldn’t tell him we rented.

It will change for us, but honestly the attitude is not nice to deal with, especially given that many of us who are renters weren’t given any other sort of choice. I’ve spent 12 years building any sort of life for myself after leaving school with no qualifications and was chucked out of my mums house in only the clothes I stood in. When I got somewhere my mental health was pretty poor due to a childhood of abuse, struggling with a child, and living on benefits I ended up in debt, that meant that even if I could scrape up a deposit when I started to get myself on my feet I’d have had no chance of getting a mortgage, and then I spent time paying off debts for my mental health to relapse, all to start all over again.

Sure if I’d have been at home till I was 18-19 or had any support at all, or not put up with all of the abuse I did, I’d have stood a much better chance of being able to get on the housing ladder, it’ll take until I’m 31 or 32 at best. Currently 28, got a decent credit score, some savings, but a fairly new business where all of me and DHs money comes in, we’ve gotta get a few more years of returns and bigger savings.

Sorry to anyone else who’s renting when they never had any other choice.

I have been on the sour end of comments and I have heard horrible comments too.

Weird considering I’m paying more than their mortgage to rent 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think the stereotype comes from these horrendous shows where they have to kick out tennants who have left the place in a state off with arrears. The vast majority of people I know who rent don’t want to live in squalor 🤷🏼‍♀️