To think people treat you differently because you rent

[festigirl14]

I rent- i’d rather own a house but circumstances/costs have prevented it so far. I have a professional career, earn a good salary, my kids are well rounded, we are normal people.
But people are SO snotty about it- there’s an underlying ‘you aren’t as good as us/ you aren’t a full member of society’ attitude that I find really weird. Maybe I am more sensitive but I have had people treat me with pity over it- like there is something wrong with me. ‘Poor you, paying dead miney’ Etc. That I have failed in the ladder of life. I don’t have family money to help out & I am priced out. It’s as simple as that.
Aibu? Does anyone else get this?

I grew up in an “owned” property and it just crumbled around us as my parents never decorated or did any maintenance. Then they had a messy divorce and ended up with virtually nothing, we were homeless for a couple of years, living at my mums friends house. They always looked down on council house people, told us we couldn’t play with council house kids etc! I live in a housing association place and now my mum has said how lovely it is and how she wished she hadn’t been so “snobby”. People don’t actually own their house until they’re mortgage free and a lot of things can happen in that time!

Why don't you live outside of London and commute ? Like most people do.. surely it's a massive privilege and cost to live near your work ?
I don't care if you rent or buy but I doubt many people could afford to buy in London 🤷‍♀️

AlwaysSomethingThere - I don't think people look down on me for not being a home owner. But I look down on myself for not being a home owner.

that is the best definition I have read.

Two things occur to me:

If you have a mortgage the bank owns your home. And can take it back if you don't pay the installments. So yes as pp said you only tuly own when you're mortgage free.

Secondly - i remember now the thing that hung over me when i rented was 'what will we do when we retire'?

Not really, I grew up in a council house, rented for a while and now own- I can’t say anyone has treated me differently! I honestly have no idea if people are renting or have bought.

Yes I agree it happens.
It is very hard to get onto the property ladder, especially when rent is twice as much as a mortgages in some parts these days.
There was a study in the paper if you had a mortgage on the rent value in Dublin approx 2000pcm. You would need to earn a huge wage to even be considered, yet low earners renting prioritising a roof over their head instead of heat and food.

I like to rent cause I like the freedom of being able to move if I fancy it really easily, landlord is great and takes care of all the problems (if any) in the house no expensive boiler bills for me lol

How often do you do that then? Move because you fancy it? And you do understand you pay for the boiler bills in your rent? Way way more than it costs the landlord to repair or replace? He doesn't do it out thr goodness of his heart, you pay for that.

And as for leaving the kids money, what money is that then? As you'll be renting till thr day you die, unless you buy. I assume you've a savings account and have worked out the escalation on the value of property over your life time versus the Interesr on your savings?

Yep.
‘Oh are you still renting?’ was often mentioned to me when I was ‘still renting’. This from a colleague who was given 40k from her parents.

@festigirl14 Ignore them sweetie.

Only the 'wannabe middle classes' will be snooty about renters. You know, the people who have a 4 bed executive home with 2 en suites and an integral garage, a £30K car on the drive (on finance,) and a mortgage til they're 70!

They will always be in lower-middle management, and will always go to elevenerife on hols.

The working classes, and the genuine upper middle, and upper classes don't give a fuck.

In my little village, there are about 150 homes, 20 of them are social housing. Used to be about 40, but some bought on the RTB. They were originally built for private sale, but the builder went under and the council purchased them for their housing stock (in the 1980s...) So as you can probably imagine, they are very nice. People only leave when they die. No-one voluntarily gives one up.

The demographic is made up of doctors, clergy, teachers, admin staff, cleaners, SAHMs/homemakers, factory workers, hotel workers, dancers, waitresses, a journalist, and several professional actors and a couple of professional writers, and about ten millionaires... About a third of the population (of around 400,) is retired. There are also around 10 farms within a 3-4 mile radius. So lots of 'farm folk' frequent the 3 or 4 country pubs around our area.

None of the rich/middle/upper class look down on the 'poorer' folk/people who rent... Like I said, only the wannabe middle classes do that (and are often up to their tits in debt.) There are a small handful in our village, but you can count them on the fingers of one hand tbh. Thankfully.

If you want to rent, it's got fuck-all to do with anyone else. Maybe they are jealous of your freedom.

The only difference between a person renting a house, and one who is buying, is that the one who is buying has almost always got a lot more debt.

People who are lucky enough to be in social housing have the best deal IMO. Better than private let (obviously) and better than being a mortgage slave til you're 70.

I definitely felt looked down on at times when renting. Often by letting agents and landlords who liked to talk to me as though they were doing me a favour by allowing me to pay their mortgages. Also by colleagues who had decided I wasn't a real grown up - we were all in our mid 20s and the main difference between us was that they'd lived rent free with their parents while saving for a deposit whereas I'd moved out at 18 and stood on my own 2 feet.

What I don't understand is why letting agents don't think to build up a bank of good long term tenants as a selling point. If a letting agent had treated us with basic courtesy well and made sure the property was properly maintained, we'd have been very inclined to stick with them if we were looking to upsize or the landlord was selling up. They could then use their relationship with us - never late with rent, never any issues with neighbours, reasonable about repairs - to sell their services to other landlords. Multiply that by a lot and that would be a really good selling point for them. But I suppose it's easier just to treat tenants like an inconvenience.

Do I detect a bit of bitterness and resentment in your posts @Bluntness100 ???

There must be SOME reason you are so annoyed by people renting their home!

Only from older generations, personally. When I was temping in about 2006 I had people I worked with who were maybe 20 years older telling me I should buy soon as possible. They were paying me minimum wage and I had zero job security. I would have loved to have bought them, but it would be have been both impossible and stupid!

I agree you get looked down on for renting and not buying, but then I feel I get looked down on for owning a flat and not a 'proper' house. So the snotty attitude for some prevails throughout each 'supposed' incremental level of success. Bet it just carries on up the scale depending on whether you have five acres or twenty.
People just get caught up in that comparison nonsense. If you're happy, who gives a shit? Just ignore

I completely agree OP. I've private rented since I was 16 (now 34) and been single the overwhelming majority of the time since. I'm also disabled so despite a decent income, I have zero chance of ever owning unless I married someone who already owns and they put me on the mortgage.

I get SOOO much judging. My Auntie says things like "Oh well you've got the basics at least" whilst in my living room with my solid oak furniture and my Audi outside "It's better than nothing I suppose" when she visits. I'd like to think that I have significantly more than basics! Since when did owning bricks & mortar make you a higher being?!

One thing is for certain - MN is rife with renting judgement! The amount of threads where I've read things like "Yeah we have a 'renter' on our street" and I even read on here once "Well they rent, so we tend to keep well clear of them in case they get violent"

Totally agree and are made to feel inferior regularly - example saw a neighbour the other day that said “I can’t believe how nicely you keep the house when you are only tenants”. We take pride in our home regardless of whether we rent or own.

I probably would think you didn’t get your life in order tbh. Unless you’re forced to live with London you can buy and commute. It makes no sense to me to have accommodation that could be taken away from you at any point (seen it happen to a few people) and that isn’t really yours. In the uk renting never provides you with a home that’s as secure as a home you own.
When you own your home you can also use that to prop yourself up when you’re too old to work (again, seen it before with people from certain fields that require more manual work working very late in life to their healths detriment as can’t afford to rely on their home as is rented)
It is your choice though and even if I judge it shouldn’t really make you feel any differently. It’s still your choice to rent.

Agree that letting agents look down on you. Fuck knows why because it's your hard earned cash that keeps them going, the gouging bastards.

Also you have fewer rights over your living environment so societally you're disadvantaged.

I think there's an attitude that renters are feckless and messy, not helped by those stupid nightmare tenants programmes.

Also, as a housing association tenant I'm in the interesting position of being simultaneously judged as a feckless scrounger and envied because I apparently "get a free house".

@Faranheaton it's a strange place to be isn't it. I find at work people who are doing the same job as me act worried at how I cope as a single mum of 3 on our wages while also asking why I haven't thought of buying. It's very strange. I would love to own a place but seeing as I can't even afford to save it looks like it will never happen.

No I don't look down on others whatsoever. But owning a nice small home is now my number one goal in life and I will continue to punish myself until I get there and will regret private renting for the rest of my life, I did it for a decade thinking who gives a fuck about mortgages when you can just go on the piss every weekend instead. I know people say owning isn't the be all and end all, but I really don't see how else you can secure your own future. I wish I had had the maturity and responsible outlook I have now when I was 21.

Polar, (and OP) I rent and I've found estate agents very good overall, but years ago I came across a snotty estate agent who seemed to treat me like dirt because I was on the lowest rung of the buying ladder. I fantasised for years about how I'd like to turn up with a big fat cheque and slap it on his desk for a posh house!

As for the renting now, I only know of one person who seems to think they are better than renters. Or put it another way cocky because they own and they seem to gravitate towards other owners.

When we were renting, the first house we rented, the neighbour told me “We don’t speak to tenants.” That suited me fine. We kept every football her kids kicked over, because they were not allowed to come round and ask for it back. And we didn’t offer to help start their car when the battery was flat when they came back from holiday.

The second house we rented, we were next door to the landlord and his wife, who were lovely. Their daughter in law, who also lived in the village didn’t want her daughter “playing with the tenants’ children.” However, when we moved to Paris, she was fast enough to ask if her daughter could come and stay “as she gets on so well with your DDs.”

Haven't rented for years but I was appalled by the way my son was treated by letting agents. At a time when house purchase is so difficult, it seems like total madness to treat the people who pay your wages like shit.

I am a LL and all our tenants are normal families.
Some are both working FT others have a STHM.
All are paid over 35k per year.
All make the house their home.
All are on very long term contracts.
All probably dont have the deposit to buy.
I think these days its very normal to rent, esp in the South East where we are with the stupidly high prices

I think if you know you're more than likely going to stay renting it is grim. At least in your later years with a mortgage, you get to keep your home and hopefully a clear mortgage. I rent but the thing I hate about is the uncertainty about my future and my DC future, the expense when I am older is scary.
All my siblings and parents bought so it is totally new to me, I've moved 6 times in 14 years.
You never know of the landlord will sell, even if you are an excellent tenant.

My parents rented for years & only bought their house when the landlady died, she owned hundreds of houses in the area as her family owned the brickworks & built the houses with their own bricks. The houses were sold off at massive discounts in the 70's probably to pay off the death duties on her estate. Most of the houses are around 100 years old. I'm in council housing now, I did own my own house but it was sold when I got divorced, I get more discount on buying the longer I live here & when anything happens to my mum will use what I inherit to buy my council property. People of my age bought their homes when they were cheap before house prices went crazy, where I live a 3 bed semi cost around 3 times my annual salary, now those houses are probably worth more than 10 times a current average salary in the area for a single person & are attracting more professional workers to buy there. More people in the area are renting as they can't afford to buy, plus buy to let landlords are snapping up the cheaper properties to renovate & rent out. Nobody looks down on the renters, many of them are children of local people who wanted to stay in the area they grew up in.