To ask what to expect from this?

[CandyCreeper]

My childs school has reported me to social services.

I suffer from anxiety and am now worried about whats going to happen. My child is in reception and made false comment. (about smacking) I am now terrified of SS coming. I know they look in every room in the house and my house is far from a show home. Has anyone had this happen and what was the outcome? I now feel like they all think
im abusive which couldnt be further from the truth.

Any advice?

Just don't worry about it. I'm not sure why dc would have said that but hopefully she'll realise it's causing you a lot of unnecessary stress. Smacking isn't illegal anyway, even if it was true (unless it's excessive). It'll be alright.

And you don't have to live in a show home.

Perhaps there's more to this, SS unlikely to follow up unless marks/ bruises are evident.

More to it? 🙄 there is no marks or bruising at all I wouldnt have been allowed home with him if that was the case because it would have been child protection.

If a child reports a parent hitting them then they are duty bound to report it so no there isnt “more to it” but ive been told theyve had to refer it to SS. So just wondering if this has happened to anyone else and what was the outcome.

Remember they don't expect a show home. Toys around, child has things to do, plates in the sink, child has food made, laundry around, child has clean clothes.

Thanks Singlenotsingle thats what I dont get as smacking is not illegal not sure why I have been reported. They have said there were no marks and I dont hit anyway but said SS will want to come to speak to me, as I have anxiety I havent stopped thinking about it.

I appreciate you suffer with anxiety, so I'm trying to be gentle but there must be more to this? I work in reception and a child disclosing they had been smacked, would never lead to an immediate call to ss. We would possibly record and date their comment but unless there was a background of other concerns, nothing more would be done.

Maybe speak to school? Ask for a meeting with the phase leader, you could email now and hopefully it will be picked up first thing Monday morning.

In your other thread about this situation you said that your 4 year old said in school that you hit and kick him and that you also hit his baby sister. That has to be reported.
Don’t be anxious about the house. They won’t be looking for show homes. They will be looking for safe, clean - as in not filthy- rooms with adequate food, heating.

Op you've said on your other thread he's alleged that you've kicked him and hit his baby sister. Both threads are on active. If you want good advice it's best to be honest

Im trying to avoid too much detail as its outing but ok child wet himself at school, when the teacher approached him she said he “looked scared” when asked why he said I hit and kick him when he wets himself, this is not true, it simply isnt and he never wets himself at home. Thats what he told the school, it is not true and I was very shocked.

When I got home I asked him calmly why he said it and he stated it was a joke and he doesnt know why, he then said its because I throw his teddy and I ‘kicked’ the drawers in my bedroom (I didnt, I moved them to look for something and didnt put them back)

there is no marks or bruising at all I wouldnt have been allowed home with him if that was the case because it would have been child protection

It's not that simple at all. I work in a school and we have been instructed to send home children who've disclosed physical abuse from parents, with bruising on a number of occasions.

I didnt want to add too much detail I said child has made a false allegation I was trying to aviod the whole story as like I said its obviously very outing. The bottom line is child has made a false allegation and I have been referred to SS that is the bottom lines, ins and outs are irrelevant because it isnt true.

Just wanted to know if this has happened to others and what was the outcome. Its clear why im trying to be “vague”..

Ok well the teacher said herself that there was no marks or bruising when they changed him, which there wouldnt be anyway.

I had SS round once to check all was ok with my DS. A lady came and had a chat with us. She looked round the house, checked his bedroom. She wrote up that all seemed fine and that was the last we heard of it. I remember how absolutely terrified I was about the whole thing though.

Thanks Raisinbrain thats just wanted I wanted to know.

Children DO make
up lies and exaggerate things, it isnt uncommon and does happen. I tripped once when rushing with the pram and him on the side and it caused him to fall over by the wheel and he told me I “threw” him under the pram. Now if he went to the school and reported that I did that I would have been referred also. Ive googled this and there are plenty of cases of it happening but they are all old so wanted to know if it happened to anyone recently.

Children can exaggerate and do sometimes lie but as I said before, there is no way we would ever involve ss for the things you have mentioned.
Yes, it would be recorded and our safeguarding person would be aware of it but no more than that.
As others have said, ss don't expect show homes, far from it.

So you wouldnt have to report to SS if a child said mummy kicks and hits them and the baby?

We had social services yearsc ago after a malicious a!legation, they just want to check that the basic needs of the child/regard before my met , is you ha e food , washing facilities, beds and bedding etc, we had just moved into to housing association house about two weeks before so there were boarders and haden t Sen decorated , they were not bothered about tnat(to give you so.perspective)

No carpets and haden t been decorated*

I haven't read the other thread but that information would certainly escalate things quickly. What was schools reaction when the your ds disclosed this?
Seems odd that hitting/kicking a child and baby hasn't been flagged up quickly but a smack has?

Thanks x2boys thats reassuring.

He also said it happens when he wets the bed which he doesnt wet the bed, so it isnt the only lie. He has been dry for almost 2 years. Since starting school he has began wetting himself at school (done it 3 times) but ive never even told him off for it. Why would I, I assume he has just been busy playing and hasnt got there in time. He hates school and doesnt want to go he cries every morning about it and often refuses to go, its been on going since he started. He absoutely hates school.

From my understanding newyearnewwhat the school asked him if I hit all the children (I have 3 at the school and a 20 month at home) and he said yes.

I work with older children that yours but we would 100% report to SS a child who said a parent hit and kicked them. Bruises or not. I was once reminded by a child protection officer that it wasn’t my job to form an opinion on the truth - just report what the child had said and let them investigate.

I have dealt with a number of false or confused statements from children. They are all treated the same in that they are all reported and the team who investigate do so carefully and with open minds. They are not there to judge your housekeeping just to make sure the children are safe.

Be open and honest with them and the school.