The sound of drum practice

[Inmyvestandpants]

One of my DC has taken up the drums. They practice for maybe 15 minutes 5 days per week max. We don't allow drumming before 9am on weekdays, 10am on weekends and not after 7pm ever. They usually do their practice some time between 5.30 and 6.30pm. The playing is pretty good - recognisable beats, not just a load of noise and bash-crash nonsense. We have a live kit (not electronic with earphones) as we were advised that this is the best way to learn to play sensitively and well.

We live in a semi. We have put the drum kit on the side of our house that does not have a party wall with our NDNs.

The NDN on the detached side of the house (where the kit is located) has made several passive-agressive remarks about us getting soundproofing / wishing DC had taken up the flute. I don't think they can hear the drums when they are inside their house, but you can certainly hear it from outside.

Having looked into it a little, I don't think soundproofing the walls will help, as there is a window on that side of the house, and that is where the noise travels through IMO. It would presumably be very expensive too, and might affect our other uses of that room (sound proofing isn't particularly attractive).

I feel we have done what is reasonable, in making sure drumming takes place within sociable hours, for limited periods of time, and I am certain that the noise level cannot contravene accepted standards. The attached NDNs have not said anything.

AIBU to think that the neighbour IBU? So far I have judiciously ignored the passive aggressive remarks, but I wonder if I should face up to what she's saying and put forward my thoughts on this: that I think we have done all we can be expected to do to make it bearable for the neighbours, but sometimes hearing what is going on next door is just part of living near one another.

That's my view but I would be interested to hear the thoughts of others. I am genuinely worried that I am in the wrong here.

I think you've reasonably struck a balance between supporting your DC's interest and setting appropriate boundaries. The only alternative I could suggest is hiring a practice space somewhere, which can be done relatively cheaply. Interested to hear other's thoughts. I think 15 minutes a day is bearable and the neighbour could let you know if there were any times it was inconvenient for them. I guess I'd be pissed off if I was just about to get a nap (I reckon it might be more audible than you think) and I'm about to have a baby so maybe I'll feel differently then too. But I'm all for supporting the creative arts. X

Or it would be unreasonable if they worked nights.

It’s unreasonable to have a drum kit when you’re in close proximity to other people. I’d be really pissed off if I was your neighbour. You need to hire a practice room at at studio and get electronic drums and headphones for the house.

Are you sure they can't hear it in their house? We can hear drum practice in the nearby youth centre in our flat. We have double glazing and they're in a separate building across a park from us!

You need a practice head. it acts like a silencer, my dc used to use these.
your neighbour can't complain if you are using reasonable hours which you are doing.

Electric drum kit and headphones. I can hear drum practice of kid in next road. It's very annoying.

People need to accept some kind of noise when they live in suburban environments. It is for 15 mins a day. Hardly a massive nightmare for them. Ignore their pas-ag comments and reply with a big smile that yes, isn't it wonderful how well Johnny is coming along with his drumming practice and how happy you are that he is enjoying music given all the wonderful benefits for brains.

Could they practise after school at school? I would think most high schools would have a drum kit. Or are they at primary?

sometimes hearing what is going on next door is just part of living near one another.

I agree. You can't spend your life tiptoeing around so as not to piss off your neighbours! 15 mins a day at a reasonable time is not excessive at all and if you neighbours have a problem with it then they could talk to you like adults rather than making snarky comments.

Someone has a kit in my building, I am not in the least bit annoyed by it as it's always when I am awake. I dare say my baby is more annoying. They need to chill!

Well I think you're being massively unreasonable. Dd drums and we live in a semi. No way would I have inflicted a normal drum kit on the neighbours and I insisted she had an electric kit with headphones.

It's not just the noise level as such but the thudding vibration of a normal drum kit which can be an issue.

Oh sorry, seen it's not the attached neighbours who complained. If it's the detached ones and they can only hear it outside they're bonkers.

We had a neighbour on the other side of the road from us who's teenage son played the drums. We could hear them loud and clear, over the sound of the TV. The mum insisted he only ever played for 20 minutes a day, she was out at work etc. He played for 45 mins a time 3 or 4 times a day!!
It is totally unreasonable and selfish, get electronic drums and headphones if you want to stay on friendly terms with any of your neighbours.

Electronic drum kip for practise.

When we went to speak to her about it, we were on the doorstep, he was playing and we and she had to shout to hear each other!

Although we never minded the very sweet garage band across the road. Made our further away neighbours miserable, but they are extremely po-faced and love to complain about everything. They've reported us a few times!

Drum practice noise is terrible, and it really carries. Yabu.

You can get rubber mats that go on the drums to dull the sound of practice. Not sure of the name , but any music shop will know.
We're having same worries- we're detached, but they're so loud. Want to avoid electronic drums I think.

Another vote for the electric drum kit.
Our neighbour's son used to practice for hours at a time with an open window. Drove me absolutely nuts - on sunny days we wanted to be in the garden but had to listen to the drums all the time.

What you're doing is perfectly reasonable. Electronic kits are not the same, as you don't get the bounce that skins have.

Just wait til they're in a band - the band will come to you because you have the drum kit. Then it gets properly loud!

If it's only passive aggressive remarks - ignore them. If they need peace and quiet they should go live rural. People need to be allowed to live their lifes. You seem to have been very considerate with limits on length of time and hours of practice.
You could take a wee mental note when they tend to be in or out just in case they do work nights or have a time convenient that they tend to be out and adjust practice slightly accordingly.

My sister had this with their neighbours - they are unreasonable in every which way they can be - who started banging on saucepans when DN was practising. In the end, they told the neighbours they were doing everything possible to make the practise cause the least disruption to them as possible but if they continued to be unreasonable, then she would just let DN, who's a bit of an early riser, practise at anytime he fancied for as long as he fancied and they would be moving the kit into the room with the adjoining wall as, quite frankly, where it was situated now, on the other side of the house, was in the way and really inconvenient for her. Seemed to do the trick.

Good luck.

Another vote for pads. They won't make it silent, but they'll dampen the noise loads. My DC has them.

I'm assuming the neighbours never ever make any noise themselves.