The sound of drum practice

[Inmyvestandpants]

One of my DC has taken up the drums. They practice for maybe 15 minutes 5 days per week max. We don't allow drumming before 9am on weekdays, 10am on weekends and not after 7pm ever. They usually do their practice some time between 5.30 and 6.30pm. The playing is pretty good - recognisable beats, not just a load of noise and bash-crash nonsense. We have a live kit (not electronic with earphones) as we were advised that this is the best way to learn to play sensitively and well.

We live in a semi. We have put the drum kit on the side of our house that does not have a party wall with our NDNs.

The NDN on the detached side of the house (where the kit is located) has made several passive-agressive remarks about us getting soundproofing / wishing DC had taken up the flute. I don't think they can hear the drums when they are inside their house, but you can certainly hear it from outside.

Having looked into it a little, I don't think soundproofing the walls will help, as there is a window on that side of the house, and that is where the noise travels through IMO. It would presumably be very expensive too, and might affect our other uses of that room (sound proofing isn't particularly attractive).

I feel we have done what is reasonable, in making sure drumming takes place within sociable hours, for limited periods of time, and I am certain that the noise level cannot contravene accepted standards. The attached NDNs have not said anything.

AIBU to think that the neighbour IBU? So far I have judiciously ignored the passive aggressive remarks, but I wonder if I should face up to what she's saying and put forward my thoughts on this: that I think we have done all we can be expected to do to make it bearable for the neighbours, but sometimes hearing what is going on next door is just part of living near one another.

That's my view but I would be interested to hear the thoughts of others. I am genuinely worried that I am in the wrong here.

Good grief - a semi-detached! We were plagued for years by the kid in the house over the road - so double glazed window, front garden, pavement, large road, pavement, large front garden, their double glazing then him. And he could play for hours and you could hear it in every room in the house.

However, his house parties with large groups of drunk teenagers all over the road were worse and made me appreciate the drums more. I don't think it's a "bad" noise - violin or brass would be hell in comparison.

We live in a terrace with neighbours with a drum kit. The noise travels far more through the windows than through the walls.

I think if you are doing something that is potential irritating to your neighbours, it is better to take a more conciliatory approach.

Rather than assuming, our neighbours came and asked us if there were any times when it would be better or worse for them to practice, so they know that actually between 5:30 and 6:30pm would be one of the most annoying times for us because their music room adjoins our dining room. They have also made obvious attempts to stop the sound travelling through the windows by putting up some kind of paper and keeping the curtains closed while they practice to dampen the sound a bit. They ask us frequently whether their drumming is disturbing us and remind us to come and tell them to stop if it's too bad.

In truth, sometimes it is annoying. In the summer, although they kept their music room window closed, when they had windows open elsewhere in the house, we couldn't hear our television on the opposite side of the house. But I don't complain, because I appreciate that they are making an effort to not be selfish and annoying neighbours.