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AIBU?

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Original poster

Incident today at nursery

28 replies

Moominfan · 17/01/2019 20:30

Went to pick little one up and was told off staff that the manager wanted to speak to me. I said ok, she comes out and in front of staff and other parents told me I had £400, nearly a month of nursery fees outstanding. This is the third time I've been in this situation. I have been told I have arrears but don't. They have two separate billing systems. So one where payments are recorded, then uploaded to another to take off the bill. I don't have any arrears just to be clear.

When this happened previously I was terrified I had fallen behind and didn't know how I was going to catch up, only to then be told there are no arrears they have just been behind updating their billing system. Every time this happens it gives me genuine anxiety. I can't afford to be in arrears and keep on top of all my bills because I'm on such a tight budget. Discussing it in front of parents and staff is mortifying and to top it off I'm
Not even in arrears and this is the third time this has happened.

My child is pretty content there but I'm absolutely fuming and don't think I can cope with the emotional rollercoaster regarding billing. I don't have the money to pay another nursery up front to move him but I'm tempted to whack it on a credit card. Fed up of this happening

OP posts:
imaflutteringkite · 17/01/2019 20:32

I'm a bit confused. If that is the reason, surely it is affecting everyone's payments?

OneChildOneNewBaby · 17/01/2019 20:33

Talk to the nursery manager.

Original poster
Moominfan · 17/01/2019 20:34

I've not asked anyone else, I don't chat to other parents just in and out. they need to check their banking to update their bill system which they haven't done

OP posts:
missyB1 · 17/01/2019 20:37

Well firstly you need to put in a written complaint about their repeated mistakes (and put on the letter that you want a speedy response). And you also need to ask for a copy of their data protection policy as they have breached your confidentiality by talking about your payments in front of other parents. Make it clear you won’t tolerate this unacceptable nonsense.

They sound incompetent so start looking for another Nursery.

imaflutteringkite · 17/01/2019 20:37

If they know the reason it is happening you would think they would check before telling you that you're in arrears. Speak to the manager as PP suggested.

Original poster
Moominfan · 17/01/2019 20:37

This was the nursery manager that said this in front of everyone. Asked if they had checked my payments from beginning of month, they said there was probably an over lap between updating their systems. It doesn't seem fit for use to me and I'm suffering from it. Can't keep going through this every other month

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/01/2019 20:38

She discussed a financial matter infront of other parents. Does that not breach confidentiality.

Original poster
Moominfan · 17/01/2019 20:58

He's not in nursery tomorrow but I'm going to give them a call. Hopefully cooled down by then, will ask for something In writing regarding their confidentiality agreement before I write a letter

OP posts:
ichbineinstasumer · 17/01/2019 21:06

is it a chain of nurseries or owner operated? There may be someone senior to the manager or a process to complain to higher management, if so you should do that. I would say that you have a right to expect your financial affairs to be dealt with confidentially and it is unprofessional to discuss this in an open area (whether you are actually in arrears or not). It's also unacceptable that their inadequate systems or failure to use them properly should create a problem for you. I would spend some time writing a letter of complaint and asking how they plan to ensure such incidents do not happen again.

Woolyheads · 17/01/2019 21:17

If it affects your mental health change nursery. Use your credit card to facilitate it. Your mental health is worth it.

kaytee87 · 17/01/2019 21:19

I'm confused as to why this keeps happening if they're aware there's an issue with their system.
You'll likely have paid a month in advance with your current nursery (and maybe a deposit) so you would have money to pay for a new nursery because you'd just be using the money you normally pay for nursery.
Saying that, I wouldn't change a nursery that my child was happy at over an admin issue.
I'd send an email pointing out this has happened before (dates included) and that you're not behind with payments and that you weren't happy it was said in front of other parents. Ask them to review their system so it doesn't keep happening.

Sunhill4 · 17/01/2019 21:23

It should never ever have been dealt with in such a manner. If I, as the manager, have to speak to a parent about anything so private, I would do so in my office with the door shut. NOT in front of anybody else, let alone other parents. You deserve an apology.

jessstan2 · 17/01/2019 21:33

I'm so sorry you've had this ordeal. How humiliating for you to be spoken to by the nursery manager publicly, she was very, very unprofessional. It's a quite basic management skill to know you must speak to people discreetly. Even worse when you are not in arrears.

Put it all in writing. Is there anyone above this manager to whom you can complain? You deserve an apology (a public one would be nice).

cdtaylornats · 17/01/2019 21:50

Lawyers letter informing them that this harassment better stop or you will be looking at damages from both the nursery and the manager.

3boysandabump · 17/01/2019 22:00

I had the a similar situation with one of the nurseries I used for my dc. I ended up moving them. Apparently they got worse and worse and ended up closing down completely not long after.

WingsofNylon · 17/01/2019 23:22

Why in earth do you find it mortifying? You know they are wrong. All you needed to say was 'No, your system is wrong. We established this the last time.'

If you don't even talk to others there, I can't understand what is embarrassing about it. The other BN parents wouldn't have given it a second thought.

Deadbudgie · 18/01/2019 00:04

Op I feel for you. We had something similar, we had no invoices, kept asking for them and basically guessing the amount we owed and paying that.

Eventually they asked us for nearly £1,000 I queried that as I thought they actually owed us money, everytime they spoke to us it was different amounts until the finally admitted to owing us nearly £1000, all the time they were v aggressive and the internal correspondence I got off them through a Gdpr request was on the verge of libellous. We have set in motion leaving the childcare setting. I came to the conclusion I didn’t want people who had such a lack of respect for us and by extension my child, together with their inability to keep very basic figures (which in my mind meant they would also probably be unlikely to master other parts of their business) looking after my child. Leave the nursery op. The care of your child is too important to entrust to people who are that incompetent

Original poster
Moominfan · 18/01/2019 13:12

Thanks for all the words of advice. I called the manager this morning. They said they have their accounts person in today so they would call me in the afternoon with an exact figure. Although as far as I can see I'm a month in advance. They apologised and when I asked what their confidentiality policy was they said they would give me a written copy for when I'm next in the nursery to collect. Going to look at two other nurseries today. Plan to move him and depending what there written policies are, I'm hoping we won't have to go through notice so I can move him ASAP.

OP posts:
Fashionista101 · 18/01/2019 13:56

Omg yes this used to happen to me all of the time. We were actually always a month ahead! Their invoices confused the hell out of me! It's a nightmare, but I got to the point where I'd just ignore them and try get my partner to pickup/drop off!!

Nesssie · 18/01/2019 15:34

I'm not entirely sure why you are so wound up about it. Why are you so anxious if you know that you pay on time?
As pp said, every time they say you are in arrears say No, your system is wrong. We established this the last time.'.

If your child is happy there then it doesn't seem like something worth moving her for.

Original poster
Moominfan · 18/01/2019 16:42

Three times they've told me I've been in arrears. Whenever I make a payment I write it down and keep track that way but their invoices never tally up so it's hard to keep track. I also think matters like this should be discussed privately not on the shop floor. Went to view another nursery today who said they can send me a real time invoice whenever I request and doesn't rely on two separate systems that say different things which Is a huge relief. I'm a single parent and budget down to the penny. I can't afford arrears. Whenever they said I have I have lost sleep over it for worrying. Might not make sense to anyone else but the feelings exist to me regardless

OP posts:
Kko1986 · 18/01/2019 17:27

Did they call you back to go through it and confirm you aren't in debt too them

Original poster
Moominfan · 18/01/2019 17:30

No I've had to call them back, but yea there's no arrears they've just not processed my payments from one system to another. Person who does it has been on leave apparently. I've told them I'm moving his nursery and asked for a copy of confidentiality info which I'll get on Monday. Once I have them I'm going to put something in writing. Would like to hope they won't hold me to the 30day notice period. But I think I'll have a fight on my hands

OP posts:
FestiveGanesh · 18/01/2019 17:37

Do you pay cash or by DD? If direct from your bank account then you know you've paid.
They sound woefully disorganised about finances & GDPR matters.

Original poster
Moominfan · 18/01/2019 18:00

I just bacs transfer, the fees vary ever so slightly every month. It just frustrates me they I can't just log in and see an amount or be given an invoice based upon current charges/payments. He's been there since he was 6months and has just turned two. It's in the 4months this has happened and they don't seem to be doh g anything different so I know if I stay it will be the same thing again

OP posts:
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