To let DD have a day off with period pain

[PeachRose]

As the title says AIBU? She is 13 and never has a day off school, she has always had 100% attendance. She started her periods last year and only had maybe 4 or 5 so last night was pretty bad, she had period pain, feeling sick and just looked completely washed out. I've given her nurofen and her grandma (MIL) has stayed with her today. Would you do the same?

Day off is fine. At 13 mine would not have wanted to be babysat by Grandma though.

Yeah definitely I always had bad periods and now can confirm some were as bad as labour pains, even thought no other issues. So I think you're doing the right thing sometimes they can be really bad and you need some time in bed

Yes you did

I had horrible period pains in teens and early 20s. I just had to stay in bed for a few hours until the worst of it passed and I was sick and fainted with them a couple of times. I wouldn't have managed at school, although luckily I didn't start my periods until I was 15 and they were irregular enough it didn't cause too much disruption.

If they become regular and continue to be so painful definitely visit GP and don't be fobbed off. I wish I'd pushed more for help back then.

That sounds reasonable. My periods were hellish when I was a teen. It wasn't just tummy ache. Back, abdomen, the pain went right down my legs, nausea, headache, couldn't sleep properly.

If her period pain is bad enough (even after taking ibuprofen) that she needs to take time off school, then I suggest you take her to the GP to ask for advice and/or more effective pain medication. It might be worth her trying mefenamic acid (available on prescription) instead of ibuprofen.

So YANBU for letting her stay at home today, if you also make her an appointment with the GP.

As long as it doesn't become a habit then it's absolutely fine.

Why wouldn't it be okay ? She feels ill.

French maybe she actually likes Grandma? And would like some company? What a weird thing to say.

OP, I think it's fine but unfortunately the world we live in says that women and girls have to suck this up and medicate themselves to the hilt to be fully functioning members of society, no matter how wretched they're feeling.

I'd keep my daughter (or son) off school if they were in pain, nauseated and washed out, with painkillers not helping. It's bloody bad luck for her that it's caused by her period and is possibly going to be repeated every month, but there's no need to force her to struggle now because there's nothing you can do about it this time.

I agree it's worth speaking to the GP if it proves to be the norm for her. I suffered terribly with period pain as a teen, and would have loved for my mum to have tried to help me sort it out.

YANBU.

She has good attendance and is not one to bunk off school.

People will allow their children to be off school if they have stomachs ache, and headache and generally look washed out/ill no problem. However when you say its due to periods you see the attitude change in some. It always amazes me that the same symptoms I describe which warrant a day off school are suddenly not that bad/no reason to be off when you say its because of a period.

Not you OP you did the right thing

God yes. I needed days off often for period pain as a teen. Let her have the day, then speak to a doctor about getting her decent painkillers for it so she doesn’t have to miss too much school.

I am convinced I found labour so easy because of years of absolutely hellish period pain that no medication dealt adequately with, including mefenamic acid. GP at one point advised me to take double dose of ibuprofen followed 2 hours later by normal dose of paracetamol followed 2 hours later by double ibuprofen etc. It helped a little, but only a little.

It has been said many a time that if men had period pain, a "cure" would have been found by now!

So to answer your question - of course she should have a day off!

Yanbu. As a teen I had awful period pains. Some of the pains I had then were honestly worse than being in labour.

I loved both my grandmothers very much. How odd to assume she wouldn't enjoy a day with her grandmother.

I used to get the v&d as well with my periods and over time became quite anemic - keep an eye on that if she continues to look washed out.
Best of luck to your DD - and well done for being an understanding mum; you did the right thing.

YANBU. I used to have to stay off too. Awful, searing pain that painkillers didn’t even touch. Hope DD feels better soon.

Thanks for the comments, I don't feel as guilty. She's normally ok with her periods, this is the first month she has been feeling washed out. If it continues I will take her the doctors. She loves her Grandma visiting and spending a day with her getting spoilt is fine with her.

OlgaDaPolga ditto. I used to be doubled up in total agony. Now I wonder in amazement at the levels of pain that it's expected that teenage girls (and women, obviously) should put up with and soldier on through just because it happens to be period-related.

YANBU DD is 12 and is a washed out heap on day 1 of her period, if she asks, I let her stay off. She loves her granny too, and would love to have her waiting hand and foot on her company. It can be lonely feeling rubbish, being 13 and on your own all day.

I'm middle-aged, I still resent my DM saying "brisk walk" (and dismissing the issue) would sort me out. Suffered all my life, right up until I got a coil.

Not suggesting that for your DD but a bit of kindness, particularly if she normally is diligent, will go a long way.

Absolutely the right thing to do. We shouldn’t have to suffer in silence.

Your poor DD. I'm glad she has a kind mum! I remember having really hideous period pain as a teenager. I hope she feels better soon.

You are being a kind wise mother.
Likewise your own mum.

Perfectly fine. If she feels poorly, she feels poorly, whatever the cause.