husband mocking me in front of children

[Itwasbestoftimesworstoftimes]

I’ve been married to my DH for 10 years and the whole time we’ve been married I’ve been a practising catholic. He is staunchly atheist and our two dc have not been brought up to be religious.

My faith is a private matter and I don’t discuss it in the house as the children aren’t religious and I don’t want to have that discussion with them. They’re 8 and 5. They know i go to chapel but didnt ask about it and that’s fine.

I’ve noticed over the past year or so that my DH has started to openly mock me about being a catholic - in front of the children. He’ll tell them God isn’t real and only cranks believe in it and say “like your mum” he’ll be laughing when he says it but the children are picking it up and I can see an intolerance creeping in. I’ve told the DC that faith (or indeed atheism) is a personal choice and it’s not to be laughed at.

I tend to go to mass early on a Sunday morning but a couple of weeks ago I missed it and went out on a Sunday night while my DH was at his brothers. I popped in to BILs to see them and their kids and my DH said in front of his family “oh she was at chapel. Yeah I know CHAPEL! She’s one of those weak minded folk who need religion.” They laughed but never said anything. I decided that that was my cue to go home and I rounded up the kids. My DH was annoyed that “I’d caused a scene.” I don’t think I should have to stand being mocked

Anyway, I suppose this is more a WWYD? The kids aren’t religious, there is no sign of religion in my house and I don’t discuss it other than it seems to defend myself.

I know people on here probably aren’t religious but I feel like I shouldn’t be embarrassed by my DH for quietly having a religious denomination.

I'm an atheist married to a practising Christian- I may not understand his faith but I'd never mock it and respect his right to believe whatever he likes, just as he respects my non belief.

Your husband sounds like a complete arse.

He's picked on your religion, what next.
Soon he will find something else to needle you about.
You were right to up and leave BIL's when he started on you in front of the rest.

You need a serious chat with him, away from the kids. You have to set out to him that his taking the piss will not be tolerated. You’re not imposing your beliefs on anyone else, so he has no recourse to complain. His behaviour is disgusting.

Well as it would say in the bible do not be unequally yoked. Why did you marry a non believer. You need to stamp out that behaviour ASAP! The fact that he thinks it's OK to humiliate you at all never mind in front of the kids is worrying. Do not be surprised if kids suddenly start to act up or be disrespectful to you as a result. Their father has shown them it's OK to do so. Serious talks are needed before things gets worse.

I think the decision that IANBU is unanimous.

I’ll need to have a serious discussion with him. I totally agree that it’ll move on to something else. I think I just needed reassurance that he’s being abusive

My dh mocks his parents for being religious. Im an atheist and find it tremendously disrespectful and cannot believe he does it.

I pick him up on it every single time, even when his parents are there as I don’t want the dcs thinking it’s right to be rude about people’s beliefs.

That’s what he’s doing - teaching the dcs to be rude about religion. How disrespectful and intolerant.

Plus he’s disrespecting his wife and belittling in front of the kids.

If I were you I’d say, in front of the dcs, not to be rude. Then speak to him separately and outline the impact on you and whether he wants his kids to think it’s ok to do this to other people.

I bet there’s other stuff he’s saying too but you haven’t picked up on it. He sounds abusive

This isn't about religion it's about respect and he's not showing you any.

I’m an atheist, but your husband is behaving appallingly.

Just because I don’t believe doesn’t give me the green light to be mean to people who do , remind him that in civilised countries we have civil rights which include the right to believe (or not) in any religion.

Is he racist, homophobic, bigoted in any other way?

You need to talk with him, explain he behaving like a prick and if that doesn’t work, next time he mocks you tip a bucket of water over him and tell him you’re starting a new religion.

Remind him that your relationship is voluntary and if he carrys on being a prick, it can be terminated.

I knew you were in Scotland as soon as you mentioned Chapel, I lived there for a while and I really struggled with the Roman Catholic Church being referred to as Chapel. I'm from Wales and Chapel means something completely different.
He is being very rude and is teaching your children to be very intolerant of other's beliefs.

He’s a bully and he doesn’t respect you. And your children are modelling the same behaviour. This isn’t good OP.

@Stardustinmyeyes

We’re a strange bunch up here

@itwasbestoftimesworstoftimes
We spent 17 years on the North East coast and I loved it but my heart always wanted to come home.
We met some fabulous friends and I miss them and the amazing views from our old house. I don't miss the freezing weather or the power cuts though.

@Stardustinmyeyes

Ah it’s very cold up there. I’m in the central belt.

He is being a bully, @Itwasthebestoftimesworstoftimes - and if I were you, I’d tell him that was what he was doing - hopefully that would show him how much he is hurting you.

The central belt can be pretty bad weather wise too. I remember the horrific snow and ice on the motorways in 2010 and 2011.

I really hope that you can get him to see how badly he's behaving it's not right and it's not right for your children to see that kind of intolerance. Best of luck op.

I'm an atheist but he's plainly being an absolute arsehole and I would call him out on that. He knew what you were about when he married you so why is he suddenly showing you such a blatant lack of respect? It's nothing short of emotionally abusive and not an example you want setting to your kids.

It shows a total lack of respect, whether you are a church attender, vegan, whatever.

To mock is NOT ok.