To think Christmas songs don't make me feel sad? Blazing row with "d"p

[Lovethetimeyouhave]

Because I'm apparently lying when I said they don't make me feel sad or like I want to cry!

He's got so upset! Breathing out really hard while he was almost shouting at me. Telling me they're written to be sad and everyone feels sad when they hear silent night.

Apparently I'm just saying it to argue with him!!!! Do they make you sad?

If you want to feel sad or happy or whatever when you hear a song that’s ok, you do you.

Your partner sounds unhinged. Is there a reason he wants to pick a fight with you or is he just a general bully?

Is something else bothering him? The only time I’ve ever been completely irrational arguing about personal preferences/feelings like this was when I was really worked up about something else

Do you think he is having an actual mental breakdown, as this is all very bizarre. And no I don’t find Christmas songs sad either!

Seriously batshit! Is he like this about everything you disagree on? Controlling? Tells you how you should feel?

Huge, flashing, neon warning signs, OP.

You know really that this is not a legitimate argument. Before you were in this relationship, if you had read this OP from someone else, I bet you would have thought it was batshit. But this guy has got you doubting the absolute bleeding obvious. And that is a huge, huge concern. Your views on what is acceptable within a relationship, and your boundaries when it comes to the kind of treatment you accept, have been warped and that would indicate that this is part of a pattern of behaviour from your partner.

His reaction is aggressive, unprovoked and not normal. He quite clearly has some anger issues and these will not resolve without drastic change on his part. Unfortunately the vast majority of abusive partners will not change. Please consider your future with this man. It is many, many times more likely that his behaviour will escalate than it is that he will successfully overcome his issues and stop emotionally abusing you.

Christmas carols can make me feel a bit teary I'll admit, especially if it's children singing. Christmas songs like Merry Xmas Everybody not so much, unless it's along the lines of "For god's sake turn it off!" but that's just me, I don't expect everyone to react the same way and certainly wouldn't be having a tantrum and accusing them of lying!

This isn't about Christmas songs. Not by a long shot.

You know it isn't OP, listen to your intuition.

Is it normal for him to behave like this and to tell you what you "must" be feeling? And to get so angry over nothing at all?

Surely it's obvious that music will have different effects on everyone, and so generate different emotions.

(Does he think that Deck the Halls is sad? Or Ding Dong Merrily On High?)

He's either unhinged or very controlling or both. Either way your problems go way beyond Christmas songs.

Silent Night isn't even meant to be sad anyway! Coventry Carol, now that's sad...

He's lost the plot. Tell him to go and stand outside for a while to cool down and think about his argument.

As I read that I thought you were going to say tell him to go tell it on the mountain

Over the hills and far away...

It was something we sang at school, I can't remember the rest.

Is he having a breakdown? What a weird thing to get upset about it. I never even thought of xmas songs being sad. Maybe he has some unresolved childhood issues.

This isn’t anything to do with Christmas music really is it?
It’s about that fact that your P is a bullying prick who wants to assert dominance over you by forcing your to think and feel what he wants you too.
🗑 bin 🗑 bin 🗑 bin.

Excuse my dog shit grammar.

I would say that Silent night provokes an emotional response, it is moving, but I would not expect everyone to be moved by it.

I read on MN that some music is written in particular keys which provoke an emotional response, and the example given was Away in a Manger, which does always make me tearful. The poster was saying that it is the tune that does that (rather than the words) and it's true, the American tune doesn't have that effect on me. So one might say that Away in a Manger was written to make you cry... "make you sad" is a highly childish way of putting it, most people over 6 would be able to differentiate "feeling moved" from "feeling sad."

So, yeah, he's a twat.

The only thing that makes me sad about Christmas songs is on Boxing Day when I realise I won’t be hearing them for another year!
Also A spaceman came travelling makes me well up.

Erm, the whole Christmas message is about hope and joy. They can be solemn and awed, certainly many are meant to be emotionally moving. But sad is not a word I'd use.

Everybody is different. There was a thread on here earlier about people who cry at Moana! And other Disney films. I don't cry at anything ...not Moana and certainly not Christmas songs 🙈🙈

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and far away
Go tell it on the mountain
That Jesus Christ is born

Sorry to derail but it's stuck in my head now, so thought I'd share

OP if you want to leave him there's a woman on here who screams at paintings, I think they'd be well suited

@GunpowderGelatine - I just spat out my tea. Thank you. I'm going to go to bed laughing.

Emotional, not sad exactly. Especially when I hear a choir singing, or lots of children, it makes me well up. Doesn’t have to be Christmas songs either, DC’s school sang S Club 7 ‘Reach for the Stars’ at the leavers’ assembly, now I well up every time I hear that.

Away in a Manger always brings a tear to my eyes but that's because I'm thinking of the little children in a Nativity play.

He sounds like a complete twat and is spoiling for a fight.
Yes send him to the Cistine Chapel screamer or as another suggestion
🗑🗑 or 🏈 kick him into touch.

Little Donkey has me in bits!

Silent night? I think he’s confusing sadness and a sense of calm and serenity. I once had a boyfriend who thought the song “Saturday Night” was really sad. He was a hotbed of confused emotion. He used to get really angry if you called his name in a public place and he wasn’t expecting it.