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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder how pathetic a reason for detention!

29 replies

Takeitonthechin · 16/01/2019 18:14

School contacted me to say, my DS had a detention because he didn't have the right equipment, when I enquired what it was he didn't have, they replied a green pen Hmm, he forgotten it.
I could understand a detention being given for a more serious matter. WWYD?

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 16/01/2019 18:18

Well, I would make sure that he remembered to take everything he was supposed to in future.

MoreCheeseDear · 16/01/2019 18:18

Tell him not to forget it again.

Soubriquet · 16/01/2019 18:21

That is the most pathetic excuse ever and I don’t think I could support the school for that.

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 16/01/2019 18:22

Totally normal. Pupils are told the equipment they need and it's up to them to make sure they have it.

FeminaSum · 16/01/2019 18:22

YANBU in my opinion, and I used to work in education. There are a lot of schools now though that give detention for really petty things. Yes, he should have had the pen, but giving him detention for forgetting it is a disproportionate response.

I think these schools have people coming up with these rules who really dislike children and young people. (Note: not saying all the teachers, obviously, just whoever devises these policies).

Bluestitch · 16/01/2019 18:22

Well it doesn't really leave anywhere for them to go for actual misbehaviour does it, if they give detentions for such petty stuff.

Strumpetpumpet · 16/01/2019 18:23

Is this the first time he’s turned up to lessons without the correct equipment, or is it a more regular issue? If it’s the latter, maybe a detention will encourage him to be more responsible?

Greensleeves · 16/01/2019 18:23

Green pen is generally necessary for self/peer marking, it isn't a random missing colour out of a pack of felt tips.

He will have been well aware that it was a required piece of equipment and that school were doing checks.

I agree that it's petty and I think many schools are tending towards unworkable zero-tolerance policies which are counter-productive imo - but this isn't the hill I would personally choose to die on

You may have to Takeitonthechin Grin

garethsouthgatesmrs · 16/01/2019 18:25

I think these schools have people coming up with these rules who really dislike children and young people

what a load of bollocks. Why would secondary teachers take a stressful job to be paid far less than most of the people they studied at university with and often subjected to verbal abuse from teenagers and parents if they hated young people?

CarolDanvers · 16/01/2019 18:25

My dd keeps getting detention for completing homework incorrectly. In ONE subject. It’s no coincidence that this ONE teacher seems incapable of putting clear instructions as to what’s expected homework wise on the app. The rest of the teachers all do and dd has had no issues at all in any other subject. “Excellent” homework for all of them on last terms report. Today another ten minute detention resulting again from unclear, one line instructions for the homework that even I can’t make head nor tail of. It’s making me fume to be honest Angry

garethsouthgatesmrs · 16/01/2019 18:28

A lot of schools require green pens now and they are used every lesson so as important as a black or blue pen. I would usually give a warning for equipment and detention for repeatedly forgetting but schools make their own rules. Most schools have minor detentions which are shorter and major ones after school or for longer periods for more serious offences. He has to give up maybe twenty mins of his time. it isn't a big deal.

FeminaSum · 16/01/2019 18:33

what a load of bollocks. Why would secondary teachers take a stressful job to be paid far less than most of the people they studied at university with and often subjected to verbal abuse from teenagers and parents if they hated young people?

Did you not read my 'not all teachers' clarification?

You only have to read the threads on here where supposed teachers insist that all children lie and whatever the OP has been told about what happened at school is untrue. Yes, some children tell lies or exaggerate but to have that as your default assumption about a child you've never met and know almost nothing about suggests that your view of children isn't a positive one.

Similarly, believing that punitive sanctions are necessary for something as simple as forgetting a pen doesn't seem kind or empathetic in any way. It suggests that the person devising the policy thinks that children are in need of tight control and if you let them get away with making ordinary human mistakes like forgetting something, you're on a slippery slope to chaos.

AnotherPidgey · 16/01/2019 18:38

Unfortunately responding to teacher's feedback is a way (apparently) to demonstrate progress and that the teacher's comments are being used to further learning. So a complex system of work being done and marked in various colour pens is devised.

If he has no green pen to do the work in, he's not doing the work properly according to the system (and the next person to scruitinise the books from SLT/ OFSTED/ accademy management/ consultants/ working group will be having stern words with the teacher about it) There isn't the budget to keep supplying spare pens from school, and the teacher may not be able or willing to subsidise it out of their own pocket.

A green pen for 5-10 minutes work may sound trivial, but students not having the equipment they need with them is such a massive time and money waster, particularly if there is a culture where students just don't bother, so schools are tough on it.

Feilin · 16/01/2019 18:42

In my whole school experience I only had 1 detention. I had completed my homework but instead of doing a line graph I did a bar graph as I struggled to understand what the difference was at the time. I recieved a slap across the face from my mother who didnt care that I had actually tried . Never forgotten it. My geography teacher wasnt interested in why I struggled either.

EggysMom · 16/01/2019 18:43

Has green replaced red as the pen of choice for marking? (I'm soooooo out of touch with education!)

User758172 · 16/01/2019 18:44

Don’t undermine the school’s authority. If he’s supposed to have a green pen, it’ll teach him not to forget it again.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 16/01/2019 18:47

Reasons ds has been given detention include :
No ruler - no lesson he would need one that day.
Asking for the toilet. Teacher said he had just had break. He hadn't so asked again.
Rude apparently so in detention.
Having no blazer when the company hadn't delivered most of the year's.
Late - he gets the school bus and it was late due to a window out.
Late start due to medical condition.
Teacher after teacher left since all new discipline procedures in place.

Mulberry72 · 16/01/2019 18:48

It’s purple pens at DS school, and they get a correction (detention) of 30 mins and a P point for not being prepared for the lesson.

I buy them in packs of 100 off eBay and make sure he has at least 10 in his pencil case.

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 16/01/2019 19:18

CarolDanvers what happens when you challenge that teacher on the crap instructions? I am often asked about homework set if kids want to double check

CarolDanvers · 16/01/2019 19:23

I haven’t challenged yet @MrsDesireecarthorse as the term has only just started and I don’t actually know how to get hold of her. I’m going up give it another week and then send a message on the app. Is that how you’d want to be approached? I’m conscious of not wanting to get backs up so early in Year 7. Dd actually has autism and is too nervous to ask so the app is a lifeline for us and we’ve had no problems elsewhere.

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 16/01/2019 19:40

I don't mind how I am contacted, although most just email - parents at start then the children when they see it's ok. I do tell them they should though

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 16/01/2019 19:42

PS and it's almost always year 7,! She's got no cause to be annoyed if you just want to check

Lunde · 16/01/2019 19:51

I think this has always been the case. At least he was actually supposed to use the equipment he forgot!

My only detention was in 1973 for not having a lab-coat for a science lesson. However this particular science lesson was not in the lab but in an ordinary classroom where we copied notes. We didn't need to wear or use the lab-coats the teacher did a bag inspection and anyone who hadn't got one in their bag was given detention for not having the right equipment.

treenu · 16/01/2019 19:57

I can understand to you it's petty.

However now that I'm teaching groups of 36, when several forget their equipment it causes quite a delay to the start and flow of the lesson whilst I sort them out. That means the other 30 students are waiting for them to get ready for them to be ready to learn.

Ideally I would lend them what they need and get it back at the end - but that doesn't happen... So I have to count it in and out so that there is equipment for the next class.

I don't have enough money to keep buying equipment out of my own funds as the department budget has been used up on exercise books.

Maybe they are having a crackdown as it's affecting teaching and learning. However if it's your child that misses out on learning because the teacher is handing out equipment then it won't be a problem?

LikeACowsOpinion · 16/01/2019 19:57

@Mulberry72 a correction? That sounds draconian.

IMO schools are focusing on the wrong things to punish.
Not having a green pen, taking off their blazer when it's roasting, completing homework but it not being up to 'standard' (which is an abhorrent thing to punish for in a generally well-behaved student) and having the audacity to need the loo.
Yet bullying seems to be swept under the carpet.
Or if it isn't, the schools procedures and punishments are woefully inadequate, causing more problems.

Things really need to be re-evaluated.
The schooling system in England is going to pot massively and teachers seem to have their hands tied in what they can and cannot do.
I'm worried for my DD.

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