Wandering guests!

[Newsername]

I’m just wondering whether this just happens to me, or if I’m just weird about normal things! But every time I have a friend come around my house, they want to inspect my whole house and start wandering around upstairs downstairs. It’s so fricking annoying. My house isn’t spectacular. Upstairs is usually cluttered with clothes ready to be put away. It isn’t even decorated like a show home, it’s just an average boring house.

When I go to someone’s house I usually sit in one place and chat, not start wandering around the second my friend goes to the kitchen or somewhere else.

I find that strange and rude. I’ve seen it on the show Come Dine With Me and I’m always appalled at how the guests go all around the house and snoop. I’d be highly annoyed if someone did that in my home.

They are told to do it.The objects are specially selected to be "interesting".
There is also only one taxi and they take turns to be filmed in it.
It is a reality TV show for entertainment.

Mookatron, that reminds me of Larry David not wanting a tour of Jeff's new house and wife Susie going nuts. "What the fuck Larry".
Made me smile.

I always cringe at this bit on Come Dine With Me! The cheeky fuckers go rifling through the wardrobes and everything! I remember one episode where a guest pulled out a drawer in a chest of drawers, he leant on it to stand up and the drawer broke. He fessed up (while giggling!!) and the host was gutted, she looked like she was struggling not to cry actually. (I'm sure she said they were French so not easily replaceable!).

Your friends behaviour is seriously snoopy and rude. I'd either stop inviting them around or asking them where they're going if they head upstairs.

@Threewheeler1
Why don’t you just say to him can you not go upstairs. We like our privacy and you’ve seen it before so no need to go up there.
Failing that lock the doors??

I hate this but I get it more than you think and I am convinced it's because we live in a bungalow.

We've lived in 2 bungalows and in a house in between - it didn't happen in the house because we had a downstairs toilet.

I hate it - it feels like a real invasion of privacy. If the children have friends round to play they have strict instructions that our bedroom is out of bounds!

You could have little rope fences, like in national trust houses

😂😂😂

I don't go wandering about, but if I go visit people first time or if they've re-decorated , people normally show you round. I do the same for people coming over.
Although I'm often doing DIY , redecorating projects as well as most friends.
And to clarify - Not an American, and living in UK.

My sister had a house party once and a guest who tagged along with another guest went upstairs to the loo. She came running down shouting that my sister’s dog had bitten her, which he had. My sister replied “you mean my dog who is asleep under my bed behind a closed door (a corridor away from the bathroom), because he doesn’t like crowds of people or strangers in his domain?”

Your friend is weird and rude.

That's so strange. I knew a girl for many years who had a habit of doing this sort of thing. We don't speak anymore. I find her too unsettling of a person for various reasons.

Locks on all the rooms. Honestly the best th8ng I’ve ever done, since realising my SIL only seemed to need the loo when someone was using the downstairs bathroom. Yes, she did remark on them. No answer when I asked how she noticed. 😁

@MrsAriadneOlive wow! That sounds amazing. I would love to wonder like that as an adult!

You could have little rope fences, like in national trust houses.

We do still have a stair gate as it happens

@Threewheeler1 when he takes off his shoes, tell him 'You are not wandering round my house, FIL.' If he still tries, just stand in front of him and repeat, along with "Did you not here me, FIL?'

Maybe this is an American vs British thing?

When guests come over, they want to see everything! Granted, we collect all of art and antiques and every piece of wall space is covered by some artifact or painting. When they first come in, DH is usually cooking (if say for a dinner party) and I point out things of interest, country of origin, the date etc. Or if they see something they fancy, I tell them of it's provenance, and let them touch it or hold it if it's not too fragile. People say our place is like a cozy little museum!

However, I don't think it's just our home either. I remember going to several friends home where the hostess proudly displayed each room, and to be frank it was nicely put together put it would never be on the cover of Town & Country. It was rather trendy contrived and quite anemic. I never got a cozy feeling from visiting there. Another friend, bashfully, showed her 2 mil. home and it was GORGEOUS! Not just the bones, but the way she decorated it. She really had an eye for design. I always told her she was in the wrong business. A beautiful eye for texture and colour.

I remember going to several friends home where the hostess proudly displayed each room, and to be frank it was nicely put together put it would never be on the cover of Town & Country. It was rather trendy contrived and quite anemic. I never got a cozy feeling from visiting there.

Aren't you missing the point? She's being hospitable and showing you round - whether you like her decor or not is kind of irrelevant and it comes across as rather unkind to sneer about her just because it's not to your taste. I don't like clutter so the types of houses where there's stuff on every surface and wall, makes me feel completely claustrophobic. Personal preference.

FIL does this and I hate it.

Buy crime scene tape from amazon. Pin it in criss cross style over the doors and if she wanders and asks ......say in shaky voice I don't want to talk about, in fact I can't talk about it.

What do you mean you don't know how to stop him?
Just bloody tell him that it's your home and if he doesn't respect your privacy he won't be welcome in it.

American here and I’ve only seen it done if the host decides to show you around usually if it’s a new home or you’re staying overnight, other than that no. We close the doors to bedrooms and only show people
where the loo and kitchen is unless kids are involved and then we show the kids room.

I had an aunt who used to do this. Open drawers in bedrooms etc. But she was ultra secretive herself and used to hover if you went to her loo etc. Really odd and she got short shrift once and stopped it.

They are told to do it.The objects are specially selected to be "interesting".
There is also only one taxi and they take turns to be filmed in it.
It is a reality TV show for entertainment.

—-

Still looks rude and nosy..

How that is supposed to be entertaining is beyond me..

You have some very weird friends! Why are they not sitting with you in the front room chatting....? I certainly would not have people wandering around my house unless I specifically wanted to show them something!

Nope, definitely not normal. I like a nosey as much as the next person, but I'd never, EVER, wander around someone's house without their say so, and wouldn't ask to be shown round either. It's someone else's home, not a tourist attraction!

Friends often ask if I want to see their house if they've either recently moved, decorated or had some work done, but if I've seen their bedroom once when they first moved in, I have no desire or need to nose around it again.

Similarly, people always ask if it's OK to use our upstairs loo, rather than downstairs (if we've got people round there's occasionally a queue!). The point is, they always ask, and they don't wander around while they're up there.

I've used the upstairs loo in my SIL's house in the same circumstances and I'd never go wandering in to their rooms! My DN wanted to show me his bedroom the other week and while I went with it, I asked his DM first and still felt awkward about it!

The fact that you have multiple of these types of friends OP is rather bizarre to me!

But @MrsAriadneOliver OMG I'm so jealous. I'd have loved that as a kid - I used to fantasise about hidden doors and corridors in stately homes as a child. What a wonderful time you must have had!