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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for help exclusively pumping?

69 replies

PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 22:50

I gave birth yesterday via emergency c-section. I am a surrogate and made the choice to express milk as I expressed and breastfed my own son well for 7 months.
I managed 2 great pumps getting out colostrum both times. I have stuck to pumping 9 times a day but ever since the first 2 times I haven’t managed to get anything out.
I am using a Medela double electric pump and I just want to get some advice!
Please do not offer any opinions on surrogacy as this is not what the thread is about, but I do think that the fact that I am not breastfeeding and I don’t have strong feelings for him could inhibit my pumping.
Help!!

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 15/01/2019 22:58

Drink water. Bucketloads of it.

Fenugreek helped me. Your wee is supposed to smell like maple syrup but mine never did. This helped immensely and I ate it by the spoon four times per day.

Protein. My mum cooked me steak three times in the day in the first few days.

Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:03

Thanks Sand. I am taking Fenugreek and eating oat biscuits but I will add steak. I need more sleep too! I have been told to hand express but I am not confident so I have been massaging my breasts and hoping that will help!

OP posts:
Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:04

Oh and I am drinking tons of water already - I will check my pee smell!

OP posts:
LonelyAmongUs · 15/01/2019 23:04

Notning helpful to add because I opened this thread hoping it was about something else.

Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:05

Ok Lonely? 🤔

OP posts:
LucyAutumn · 15/01/2019 23:05

I had an em-csec and also exclusively pumped.
I don't suppose you are in a situation where you can do much skin on skin? Don't worry if not, my baby was in an incubator for a while and I could barely hold him.
Have you been eating and drinking enough and are you taking any vitamin supplements?

QwertyLou · 15/01/2019 23:08

Your milk might not have come in properly yet. Mine only came in on day 4. Lots of skin-to-skin time might help, although not sure that is possible when you’re a surrogate Flowers

dottybutterfly · 15/01/2019 23:09

Pump as if your feeding, and also through the night, drink and eat plenty and there is a tea you can drink that can help, weleda nursing tea I think it's called!! Xx
Also I was told that my milk wouldn't come in properly for a week after a c section xx

Willow1992 · 15/01/2019 23:09

It sounds a bit early to say something is wrong or even needs fixing if you only had him yesterday. If you were breastfeeding directly then the baby would only be getting small amounts of colostrum, not anywhere near the amount of formula they would be having based on reccomendations.
I pumped exclusively for the first 2 weeks. It was a good 3 or 4 days before proper amounts of milk started coming out.

QwertyLou · 15/01/2019 23:10
  • sorry, I meant , depending on your arrangement with the baby’s parents - not sure if the baby is still physically with you or has gone to be with them, in which case STS not possible Flowers
LucyAutumn · 15/01/2019 23:10

My milk came in 4 days after csec

Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:10

Lucy I am not doing any skin to skin, I think that would be detrimental to my emotional health. We are not in the same place anyway and when I had my son he was in special care and I was still expressing well.
I do wonder if the fact that I don’t love him or have maternal feelings for him could be an issue with my milk supply?

OP posts:
dottybutterfly · 15/01/2019 23:13

If your feeling like that op, it might be worth them switching to formula, and letting you recover without worrying about getting enough milk!!
Just wanted to say what you've done is amazing, it takes a real special lady to do such a lovely thing xx

Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:13

I have been having vitamins.
I should say I wouldn’t mind if only a tiny bit came out but I am literally getting nothing after 20 minutes, 8 times a day.
Skin to skin is not an option for me personally, I would rather not put my emotional health at risk.

OP posts:
popcornwizard · 15/01/2019 23:13

Being close to baby would really help, but a photograph and/or a smelly blanket/baby grow might help. Your head needs to be in the right place. I'm assuming he's with his family already?

Try not to worry/overthink. Have you tried in a nice relaxing bath or in the shower?

Bambamber · 15/01/2019 23:14

It's totally normal for your milk not to be in yet, especially after a section. I would certainly try hand expressing, I always responded better to hand expressing than with a pump. Also I don't know if looking at pictures of your son as a newborn might help?

LucyAutumn · 15/01/2019 23:14

Understood.
Hmmm, I know what you mean and I often worried about the same thing as my milk was all over the place and I wasn't able to hold my baby. Has your milk properly come in yet or just colostrum?
My colostrum slowed down by the 2nd day and then by the 4th day my milk came in.

Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:14

Dotty they are using formula, he would be struggling otherwise! I’m just frustrated as I pumped so well with my own son!

OP posts:
Willow1992 · 15/01/2019 23:15

Just read your update about hand expressing. The hospital midwives insisted on me hand expressing. It was very time consuming and stressful, getting out and using my pump was instantly so much easier. I am planning to stand my ground and insist if this happens again! Of course listen to advice but since so much advice about bfing is conflicting you need to do what works for you.

LucyAutumn · 15/01/2019 23:15

Oh and I did try hand expressing onto a sterilised spoon. Was odd at first but worked. A local breast feeding councillor came round and helped me, do you have any local to you?

Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:17

Bamb I’m going to ask my midwife tomorrow to help me hand express as I don’t feel confident.
Baby is 40 minutes from me currently and will soon be hundreds of miles away (we were planning on using a milk courier) so spending time with him could prove impossible.

OP posts:
dottybutterfly · 15/01/2019 23:19

Op how long do you intend to pump for? Is it just while he is newborn or long term? Xx

Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:19

Willow it’s frustrating as the colostrum came out straight away on the first 2 pumps.
I am going to try to get some rest and get going again in the morning

OP posts:
Original poster
PeachMelba78 · 15/01/2019 23:20

Dotty I was hoping for 4 months just because I was so good last time.

OP posts:
LucyAutumn · 15/01/2019 23:21

I think sleep will help definitely, you're probably exhausted and you'll hopefully feel less stressed after a rest.