To the mums who had their babies as teenagers...

[namechange097]

I've name changed for this so there's no link with my other threads.

Has anyone had 2 children by age 19/20? How did you cope financially, home wise, work wise etc?

The only person I know to have 2 by 19 was my GM who died a few years ago so can't query anything with her!

Not looking for nasty comments, just anyone who can offer input for the question!

@ItStartedWithAKiss241 thanks for sharing!!!

@CheshireChat haha yes, I completely understand!

My mum did by the time she was 18. She was a SAHM and my dad worked. They rented a little bungalow. We didn't have a lot of money but were happy. They ended up having four of us. Mum was 25 by the time she had her last.

i had my first son at 15 then my second at 21. i had my second child whilst still at university. my boyfriend and i were extremely lucky to have support from my parents and grandma so that we could finish our education. we lived with my grandma for a couple of years and then lived in a council house until my boyfriend was able to access money that he had been left by his mum which we used to put a deposit on a house. we’re now 26, still together, and have three children.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories that it is doable!

OP Obviously asking as she is in this situation, is potentially in this situation or is thinking of being in this situation.

But the OP hasn't said this ^^

All they've said is 'It's my personal circumstances', but why not elaborate as she's name changed anyway?

That's why people get twitchy. If it's not journalists, it's students or researchers lately.

Married at 16, first dc at 17 second at 19. He worked I went to college and worked at night. Divorce by 20.
Stay in education and worked - not easy but loved my dc's and wanted to prove to them that they would have the same as friends with older parents.
was making 30,000 a year by 24, never stopped but I have great family to help with childcare. In a way I was very lucky to have help, but I had to live off 3-4 hours sleep and made sure when I did things with the dc's they were extra special to make up for missing a few bed times.
By 26 I realised that I needed to slow down and make the most of my dc's, so cut way back and moved home with my parents for a year.
My kinda point is that whatever you do make sure it's best for you and your family, there is no rule book to life.
Ask yourself could you cope with two single and what's your long term plan.
The worst part for me at the time was the break down of my married because I was alone with two children 20 and I felt that life was over, now I have another lo and an amazing dp.

I was 16 when I was pregnant with DS and 17 when I had him and 21 with DD...

They’re turning 23 and 19 this year.

What is it you’re wanting to ask? more precisely I mean?

Because I mean I can give you a huge post, lol, but it’ll be a lot more readable if you ask actual questions

Had dd1 at 19, went to uni when she was 6. First class degree, worked my way up with my current company. Got married. Now we have another daughter, 2 nice cars, nice house and I’ve just started my dream job in the company I’ve worked in for years. Don’t get me wrong- we’re occasionally skint and back when dd1 was little it was so hard seeing friends have girls holidays and nights out but you can make a success out of it all.
My dm was devastated when I came home pregnant at 18 and begged me to terminate saying my life was over. It wasn’t, it was just a different one than she planned for me.

I had my first when I was 17. Pregnant at 16. I went from virgin to mum to be in six weeks.

Now I’m a writer covering top red carpet events, it’s my dream job. Life is good, but it wasn’t always so. Ask me anything.

I had my first DS a month after my eighteenth Birthday, and my second at 20. Financially it was hard but we coped, EXH and I both worked. we divorced when I was 21, and I then went on to do a full time degree, I got a student grant and loan back then but worked in my holidays and time off too. I did have some help from family with childcare, but also used nursery, after school and holiday clubs (this became much easier when tax credits were introduced).

I then re-married at 25 and went on to have 2 DD's now 20 and 11, and another 2 DS's now 13 and 15. Eldest DS's are now 25 and 28.

It was difficult having children whilst still young - I did feel like I was missing out at times when all my friends were out and so on. But there were advantages too - I had much more energy so was able to study, work and care for them quite easily (no way I could do all that now). Now I am older, I have more patience perhaps but much less energy and possibly have not been as strict with the younger ones as I just don't always have the energy.

I think my older children have quite liked having a 'younger' Mum too (except when I used to get mistaken for eldest DS's girlfriend now and again ). The younger ones now think I'm ancient ( and are probably right ha).

Anyway, having DC's young is a challenge - financially and because you have less life experience to draw upon. But it can be done successfully. I admit I probably was a bit scatty and perhaps immature at times when I had my first two, but they have both turned out well, got good degrees and are now doing well for themselves.

Not really answering the question as to why you want to know.

That speaks volumes thanks.........

@tabulahrasa I'm not even sure of actual questions to be honest - just generally how did you cope? How was your relationship? How was it financially - especially the difference between 1 and 2? Did you work? Did you live away from parents?
Generally, was it doable? And did you panic and have these worries before #2 as well??

I had my oldest at 17 and then married rich at 20. The years in between that were hard and shit but I got support from my parents, best friend and baby father. Really I was only alone for about 16 month in between my 1st marriage annulled and getting engaged the second time, during which I just focused on my daughter and university study. Don't know how people do it all alone for the long stretch.

@Onecabbage wow! How did you get to be in your dream job? Writing has always been something I'm interested in but not many opportunities where I am!

I had one at 18, my second at 21, third at 24, fourth at 29.

Spent a little bit of time on benefits, about a year.

But mostly had my now exDP working and me at home.

I’m now 32 and a first year Undergrad at an RG studying Biology

I’ve not done too bad really.

Is that why you are thinking of having a baby at 19 then? Because there are no writing opportunities where you work?

This thread is getting weirder by the minute!

@robininbrum I am potentially in this situation - have one DS already! It's really an honest-natured thread, I just don't want to get judged or have negative opinions on my own personal circumstances, I was just after answers to the question!

@robininbrum wait, what? I think you really took that out of context and not sure how you got there?

OK I'll shut up then. Just can't understand the point of the thread.

JMO. Just ignore me.

I haven't personally (I'm 20 next month) but a lot of girls I've gone to school/college with have. I even knew a girl in my year who got pregnant at 13! She ended up dropping out of school.

I know a few who have had one at 16/17 then have had another or are pregnant now at 19/20.

It's frighteningly common to see teen mothers on my Facebook feed each day!

I had dd at 18 still only got just the one 20 years later, I did marry her Father and we had a few good years but now divorced. We coped but had an awful lot of help from my family, after a couple of years my own Father died and I had inheritance with which we bought this house and I'm still living here.
Basically a supportive family helped me enormously

My pils had their family at 17, 18 and 19 my husband being their middle child, nearly 50 years on at marrying at 19 years old they have a vvv comparable life and help us our financially, they are completely self made, and I am very proud of their work ethic.

I only have one but that’s down to being unable to conceive a second not as posted above that it was too hard!

I had my DS at 19, myself and DP bought a house whilst I was pregnant, when DS was 18 months I went back to work 2 days per week, we weren’t well off but could pay the bills, decent car, holiday every year, day trips with DS regularly etc When DS went to school I increased my working hours to 4 days 9.30-2.30 (took a lower paid job to accommodate this) so no child care required. He’s now 13 and I still work 4 days, we certainly aren’t rich but we have a nice life. We started TTC #2 when DS was 1 and continued trying for 10 years including paying for 6 rounds of IVF. Would definitely have had at least 2 more if I had been able.

Thanks everyone!!!