To think waking up early will solve 99% of my problems!

[Gamechanger12e3]

Someone please help me!
I am single handedly causing my own issues by sleeping in late EVERY MORNING!!

Due to me waking up late.. I'm late for work everyday meaning i always have to work late to make up my hours. This has a knock on affect to my evenings where banks/places are closed by the time i finish work so i have to wait for weekends to run errands. My work is very flexible so they don't care too much.

I always looks like SHIT at work because i literally roll out of bed, into clothes and out the door! Which affects my self esteem!!

I can't arrange morning meetings/appointments because i know I wont wake up on time.

My weekends i wake up super late so waste half the day in bed. Ffs!! I only have a few hours during the day to carry out all my errands!!

I've always been this way. Since a child. I used to be late for school everyday and constantly reprimanded.

I don't know why!! I've been tested by the GP and everything has come back fine. Ive tried going to bed super early/late/reasonable hour. Nothing works!! I've tried setting several alarms on both my phone and manual alarm.. I sleep through them all!!

I think its learnt behaviour. My mother is exactly the same and was always late. She was self employed so never really had consequences for this. She sleeps until noon most days!! Our household was a 'night owl' household. We'd all be awake until early hours despite given bedtimes and then late every morning.

I don't know what to do!! Its ruining my life!! How do i change?? Has anyone else ever suffered the same?!!

If i could just wake up at a reasonable hour 99% of my issues could be resolved!!

How do i discipline myself?!

Has anyone else ever suffered this? Its not normal!! I piss myself off!! I cant rely on myself to do anything morning related which cuts out half my days!!

Someone please advise or give me a kick up the @**!!

People who are obsessed with getting up early are wasting the nights, though. If you are a night person, you can enjoy productive peace and quiet after midnight, when all the bores are asleep; lots of places are now open 24/7 so you can do your shopping or deal with your emails or whatever at any time that suits you. Sunrises are equally magical when you see them just before you go to bed.

Are you struggling to get out of bed because you’re groggy?
Use the sleep cycle app. It’s a flexible alarm. You tell it the latest time you want to be awake by, and it will away you anytime in the thirty min period prior to that time when it detects you are in a lighter part of a sleep cycle. Meaning that an alarm doesn’t go off when you’re in deep sleep and it’s horrid to get out of bed! Changed my life.

Get your clothes ready the night before. Laid out. Knickers. Socks. Everything. Get your clothes ready on a Sunday evening for the week. Have everything washed and ironed ready to go.

Lay absolutely everything out. Hairbrush. Make up. Cereal bowl/ plate whatever.

Write a list of what you want to do in your routine in the morning. Follow it. Add to it if you need to adapt it.

What is your hair like? Wash it in the evening. Dry. Pop up in a bun or pony tail/ plait in the morning quickly.

PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN

10 pm be in bed. Phone on charge. Don’t sit flicking though mumsnet/ YouTube/ social media. Be asleep by 10.30. If you have probs getting to sleep try the ‘deep sleep’ app with Andrew Johnson who has a very soothing voice. Teaches you how to relax and lead your mind. Sounds a bit wooo but it’s amazing. I never hear the end as I nod off. You can start the sleep cycle app then start the deep sleep app.

I could have written your OP a year ago. It did nearly ruin my life. You may think work don’t notice. But people do. They judge. You look disorganised. It looks like to them you can’t even do the basics.

For the first three days, FORCE yourself to get out of bed. Tell yourself you’re going to put the kettle on. By the time you w out the kettle on you will be wide awake.

It’s just about starting new habits. It’ll change your life in other ways though, you’ll become more confident in you’re appearance, you will be more organised. You’ll feel less stressed. Think about the benefits to come!

@ReanimatedSGB that sounds good n’ all, but it doesn’t really work if you’ve got a 9-5 job!

You could also look into vibrating alarms. Or really traditional ones that sound like fire bells.

I really feel for you OP, I am very similar. My OH wakes me most days nowadays, thankfully.

This app is interesting. I haven't tried it. Connects you with a random stranger (annonymously!) via mobile phone:

wakie.com/

Create a sleeping habit.
I'm ok because I don't have to get up until 8.45am for work but DP struggles.

We go to bed at 10.30, read for half an hour/ an hour with a chamomile tea then put on white noise, fan and eye masks (sometimes a lavender Balm.

I set 4 v loud alarms.

You can also get wrist alarms which buss on you when home may work.

My youngest is an early riser. She doesn't get it from me. I should lend her out. She could wake the dead.

A lot of my sleep issues are because I have ADHD. Melatonin is lacking in people with ADHD; it can be prescribed. It helped me loads.

I was always a night owl, but having children meant I had to get up early, so I did both. Went to bed around 1-2am, and be up at 6.30.

The quiet time at night, is different to the quiet time in the morning, and I love both.

Now the kids have flown the nest, and due to illness, I don't work, I go to bed any time between 1-4am, and get up around 8.30-9.30. I hate staying in bed later, it feels like I've wasted a lot of the day.

@Bayleaves what app was that? It sounds interesting.

What about one of those alarm clocks on wheels? When they go off the fly off your bedside table and scoot around the room so you have to catch it.

I was like this. NHS GP said all tests normal but wouldn’t give me my results. I went to a private GP and was told I had moderate to severe hypothyroidism. Got treated. Now I have no problems waking up.

Have a child, then you will never sleep late again in your life.

Seriously though - go to bed earlier and you’ll get up earlier. It’s a matter of changing your habits. It might never become so ingrained that you do it naturally, but you’re going to have to take some action and pay attention to it.

It takes about 6 months to really, really change a habit - never mind all that 21 days malarkey.

I also agree with setting yourself morning meetings so you HAVE to get up - your behaviour sounds a little but avoidant, which won’t be helping matters.

It's simple to do, and you just have to be consistent.

Set an alarm for early in the morning, when it goes out, don't press snooze, count 5,4,3,2,1 and get up. Have a shower to wake up straight away.

Night before prep clothes/food whatever else so you can grab and go.

If you can do some exercise before bed do it, this will knock you out for a good sleep. Follow it with a bath and you'll be in dreamland before you know it.

Also find reasons to enjoy the mornings.

Quiet, peaceful, no-one around, public transport less crowded, work is chilled when you get in...

I started getting up early to avoid the manic hours on public transport and I feel so much less anxious/stressed on a daily basis.

Well what time do you go to bed?

Getting older helps. I used to love sleeping in. Now I’m 40 I wake up “naturally” early with a slight headache, needing a wee.

Try making it easier rather than harsher, maybe? Put a radio alarm by the bed, tuned quite loudly to lively music. Add one of those daylight alarms. Put your phone out of reach (on the landing?) Make sure the heating comes on early so the house is warm before you get up.

Can you get an old style filter coffee machine on a timer plug so that the machine has brewed coffee before you wake up and the smell starts to work its way upstairs?

Or, if you are this hard-wired to be a night owl, can you switch jobs to something that demands a night shift?

People saying she's being lazy are totally disregarding the fact that people have different body clocks.

I read that people who prefer to stay up all night would likely have been sentries back when we were living outdoors in tribes –someone to stay up and watch out for danger while everyone else slept.

I tend to go through phases of rising early or sleeping in. Whoever made the point about the first 3-4 mins being shit, I'm going to try and remember that!

Chronotype is the word I was looking for!

Here: "Melatonin rises in the evening and helps prepare our bodies for sleep, whereas cortisol rises in the morning and helps us to wake up. For night owls, melatonin increases later in the day, while cortisol rises earlier in morning people."

www.businessinsider.com/partners-with-different-body-clocks-2017-4?r=UK&IR=T

I'm pathologically punctual and part of it is just inherent in my probably irritating personality. The thought of rolling up anywhere late is horrible. It helps that I've worked for the same boss for 20 years and they're absolutely scathing if you're late or have a hair out of place!

My tip is to be realistic about how long it takes you to get up shower dress etc... Actually time it. Same for your journey to work. Time it. You're probably massively underestimating the time you need to leave. Write that time on a piece of paper and stick it on your alarm clock so you aren't winging it thinking five more minutes won't hurt.

Same with appointments - it's not just leaving it's parking up (pay and display or ticket car park - have you got change?) and how long is the walk to the venue? Do you really know the route or are you expecting to wing it with google maps. Never wing it - run over it the night before.

Without firm boundaries and if you're not needed to be anywhere it's easy to slide into sloth but in your position, I'd permit myself to flap my night bird wings and have lazy lie ins when it didn't matter and enjoy them not beat myself up.... as long as when it did matter I got my arse in gear and got out with time to spare.

The older you get the less being perpetually late is forgiven so it's worth pushing yourself to make some new habits - I agree given the GP hasn't diagnosed owt it's most likely learnt behaviour in your case. You don't need to make everyday a 6 am start like I say permit yourself to be a night bird but when it matters get organised and get up!

Lots of things are not set up for night owls.

DH is one and never goes to bed early, so he just doesn’t get enough sleep. Not ideal healthwise.

He lies in at weekends (I’m a lark so don’t want lie ins) and sleeps loads on rare holidays.

His job allows some flexibility, unlike the school run, on his days the DC have to sort themselves out, as he struggles even to be ready himself!

It’s not laziness in his case as in general he’s v hardworking, including as a parent.

It did work quite well when DC were tiny as I did the early hours and he often dealt with night dramas like nappy leaks and sickness!

LisaSimpsonsbff

Why am I wasting the morning but you're not wasting the evening?

As others have said because that's no the way the world works.

In the morning we have had ( hopefully ) a good 8 hours sleep, so our energy levels are high.
The sun rises in the morning.
In winte time we need to take advantage of every bit of daylight we can, for emotional and physical health.
Kids need to be taken to school/nursery.childmonders.
Food prep can be done in the morning- prep for dinner, making packed lunches ( no one wants to eat sandwiches made the day before).
Shops sell freshly baked bread, arrive in the afternoon and your choices are limited.
Drying laundry outside is best done in the morning- wait until the afternoon and you have missed half the day.

To me early morning time is far more useful than late night time.

Long history of light sleeping. I'm a night owl. Wish i could return to publishing or any job where I work 10-6. I don't mind staying til 7pm.
I just don't DO mornings. Not helpful as the rest of the household is up with a lark always ''busy busy''.

my family love their sleep and getting up late.my sister literally said the other day "but what about when we are old,they get up so early.i don't want to be like that!
some early risers are like some vegans though.
and I know you've said it is impating your life now but don't feel to much pressure to be an early bird.some bodie just really aren't made for it.
if you had the kind of job there was pressure.do you think thi would get you the sack or would you find a way to do it.what would that be?