To feel sorry for the mum in the letter?

[CockPissPigeon]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jan/12/letter-to-my-thoughtless-mother-brag-of--starving-yourself

The poor woman only said she used to save her school dinner money to buy more interesting things. Surely everyone did this at some point as a teenager? But the daughter was so shocked she couldn’t speak. When she finally got over the shock she wrote a letter to The Guardian detailing the traumatic incident.

Before I get flamed for being heartless I have struggled with ED’s for the last decade but I would struggle to be even vaguely ruffled by that comment.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jan/12/letter-to-my-thoughtless-mother-brag-of--starving-yourself

Hopefully clicks link, sorry

I think it was probably the "win-win!" comment that set the tone and was what the daughter objected to. The implication being that 'win no 1' is being able to buy something exciting, and 'win no 2' is having skipped a meal. Against the backdrop of having grown up with a parent who has an ED I'm not really surprised she would be upset about it.

The gm bragged in front of teenage grandchildren that she never ate lunch & spent lunch money

Given the history of eating disorders, I don't think it's unreasonable to think this was unreasonable

I have struggled with anorexia all my life and I am so so careful not to mention food or weight or anything like that around my nieces because i just never want to influence them.

Food is a necessity and she chose to not have that necessity for something "exciting".

Food should be a healthy non negotiable part of life.

I think being the child of someone with an Ed is extremely hard and you can see the frustration in her letter

I used to but cigarettes with mine.

A woman whose own daughter was anorexic as a teen tells her teenage granddaughers that she thinks it's a good idea never to eat lunch on a schoolday - I'd be utterly furious, and seriously consider restricting her contact with the children.

No sorry OP, never heard of anyone not using lunch money to eat.

Regularly used to save it to buy clothes. Better than the “food” on offer.
Only had a can of diet coke for lunch.
Would not recommend this as a way to live.

COme off it, every teenager has used lunch money for something else

I'm with the daughter.

I also used to buy fags with mine. If I had anything left over I would be a Thurstons (Greggs) wholemeal Crusty very cheaply and eat large quantities of dried bread to fill up on.

Told my mum I ate the roast of the day😊

I think she's probably exasperated that her mum has been suffering from an eating disorder for so long and annoyed that despite the obvious harm its done her she's still willing to almost encourage the teenage daughters into similar thought patterns.

For a while, I spent half of mine on lunch and half on magazines or sweets.

Broomstick it was the mother who had an ed not the daughter.

I think the mother has had an ed for so long that she can't get out of the mindset that skipping a meal = positive and her understanding of what's normal and appropriate is completely warped. I'm not sure that's malicious and I doubt teenage gc will stop eating based on that one comment.

I think the daughter's upset is more about her own feelings of growing up with a parent who has an ed and I can understand why she still feels resentful towards her, it must have been really tough.

I spent mine on fags. Used to sneak home and make a dairylee sandwich. Got caught one lunchtime by my dad!

airelle I think that really lovely and brave of you to keep them protected from the ed's painful ways.it must be really tough at times.

No sorry OP, never heard of anyone not using lunch money to eat.

You can't have met many people then.

The letter writer is OTT, but both she and her mother suffered from eating disorders so it's easy to see what is driving her touchiness.

Trinpy yes I can see that too.living with an ed is devastating on a family and you have to be such a strong family to do it.so strongand the love has to penetrate it every day to survive.

The grandmother has an eating disorder, as did her daughter. And in front of impressionable teenage girls she said that not eating anything and staying skinny was a win?

I’d have been pretty livid too, and I think you’re ignoring the context the letter provides to make out that the comment is more innocent than it was.

a mother who struggled with eating disorders her whole life (and ruined her health) which led to her own daughter having anorexia in her teenage years was promoting it to her grand daughters and she rightly was furious

I dont see the problem I feel for her not her mother

It's a bit over the top.

I just find it such an odd thing to be so shocked by. My dm has a deeply unhealthy relationship with food. But she’s an awesome human being. Everyone is flawed and if I reacted so dramatically to every comment people make that I disagree with I’d find it exhausting.

I think it's a bit over the top too. Grandmother had a couple of glasses of wine, made a careless remark which who knows she may have immediately regretted - being demonised in a national paper for one such solitary incident seems unfair imo

to say this in front of a daughter who had suffered with an ed too must have felt incredibly insesntive and triggering and shed be extra protective over her daughter with this.

It's the Guardian, righteous whingeing is what they sell.