to feel disheartened by the baby group?

[SwagQueen]

Baby is 12 weeks old. I don't know many people in the area as I moved here when I was pregnant. Went to my first baby group today and felt really disheartened by the whole thing.

Everyone else's babies were miraculously well behaved. They were all dressed in gorgeous little outfits (and so were the mums). They also seemed to all know each other.

My DS was the only one in a baby grow, I was dressed down with no makeup, hair not done because DS doesn't sleep and I'm so knackered, and when I tried to talk to anyone I just got one word answers and nobody really seemed interested in conversation.

This may all be in my head, but my confidence is pretty knocked. I feel so isolated. I don't know anyone in the area. I'm nervous to try any other baby groups.

Did anyone else find this? Feeling a bit shit

I really feel that the leaders of the group should always make an effort to welcome you when you arrive and introduce you to other mums. I've felt like you felt at baby groups many times but a friendly face from one of the leaders can help in so many ways

Could’ve written this myself 14 years ago! The other mums and their babies all seemed so relaxed compared to DS1 and I! At the last session, we all swapped phone numbers and I did keep in touch with a couple of the mums so it’s worth persisting with it.

Try different one's including those that meet in church halls even if you are not religious (they are usually just great spaces to meet others ) remember it's highly unusual to love all of the people all of the time in these situations. You just need to find your tribe, it's not the quickest of processes, there's a lot of trial and error. If you drive try surrounding villages too.

Baby grows are the most comfy thing you baby can wear, Fancy clothes are not. Breaking in to a new group of strangers always feels awkward at first. Try to start tiny converssations until you find someone you are comfortable with. Sometimes the Mums who feel they have to dress up are the most insecure

What’s wrong with bsbygros? My DD is almost 6 weeks and hasn’t worn anything but (her older sisters!) babygros yet and I have no intention of putting anything else on her.

I felt the same way. You just have to keep trying different groups until you find your kind of person. I met my best mum friend at a group that we both hated and only went to once - thankfully that was enough time for us to become best pals!

Oh and my next baby will be in babygros until she's at least 4 months, everything else is pointless!

18 week old DS here, only just stopped wearing sleep suits all day. Mostly because we have so much other clothing to wear, and also to have a routine of change clothes, bath, bed, then change again for the new day.

I bet they aren't as put together as you think. Some of my mum pals are being more honest about stuff like this as time goes on. They thought my DS was a great baby as he rarely cried at baby groups etc. But he is an awful sleeper where theirs we're great sleepers. Things like that really don't have a basis on anything really!!

oops sorry no idea how i posted 4 times - sorry problem with slow internet

RiverTam :) :) thought my computer had broken and kept pressing the button!

bloody technology

DD is 6 months old and I don't get her 'dressed' every day. There's loads of days where she's in her sleepsuit - so much easier (and cuter!).

I can't say I've felt the same with the baby groups we've gone to but I can see why and how you would feel that way. Believe me, I never wear any makeup and it's a miracle if my hair is even brushed.

OP have you tried an app called Mush?
It's for parents to meet other parents near you,
I got talking to a couple and then would go to the groups with them, it made it a much better experience or failing that just out for coffee,
We've seen the same couple every week since DD was 12 weeks and now nearly one

All my babies have been in babygrows until they started to walk! Why would you put a 12 week old in "clothes"!

Dressing up your kids in a different way doesn't mean the mums are not friendly. Try other baby groups, sometimes you need to go a few times before starting a conversation and meet friendly people.