To ask if you can afford to live on one salary?

[coffeeforone]

I'm currently on mat leave and due to go back full time soon. DH found out last week that his job is at risk of redundancy.

We need to do the sums to work out if we would be able to manage on one salary in the short-medium term and if not, what cutbacks we need to make.
I was chatting to a family member earlier who is very shocked that we do not already know with confidence we can live on one salary and should already have been living within the means of the lowest earner in case of this eventuality.

AIBU to this it is ok to need to spend more than one salary if you both work?

We could live on one salary as long as it was the higher earner's salary and we cut everything right back. We'd make some savings as no longer paying for commute, could shop for bargains have the time to cook with no expensive shortcuts. We'd save money on childcare, but all the children's activities would have to go. As would every luxury. We could do it. We'd cut our cloth accordingly.
Come June we'll be in a better position (many outstanding debts cleared then).

We could manage on mine, but not his.

It came as a shock to me when most of my new maternity leave friends discussed going back to work as a choice not a necessity - I think it's because almost all my longer-standing friends live in London, but I took it for granted that mortgages need two salaries. I also realised that most of the mat leave friends were in couples had household incomes similar to ours (£70k-ish) but split differently - DH and I earn very similar amounts, whereas they all earned a lot less than me while their DHs earned a lot more. Again, that wasn't my pre-children norm - I was used to men and women earning about the same, so the idea of the woman's salary being just a disposable extra was quite alien to me.

We're currently essentially living off one of our salaries (first I was on mat leave, and now DH is on SPL) and we have to dip into our savings to do it - we could do it for about a year (very frugally) before the savings ran out but not as a permanent arrangement.

We’d manage on my income. But if anything ever happens to me that means I can’t work, we would be absolutely fucked on only DP’s wage.

We’re both high earners so yes. We lived comfortably on my salary when husband was a stay at home dad. But we like money and treats so we both prefer to work.

“At the moment, it wouldn't be worth either of us going full time as the gains would be quickly swallowed up by rising childcare costs and falling tax credits (I did the sums)”

This is why the tax credit system needs to change. You chose to work PT so that you get tax credits to top up your income to probably what I earn full time.

We probably could if we cut back on all extras so no sky tv, no days out, loose one of the cars, no holidays, no extra curricular activities for the dc, sticking to a budget for food, no takeaways, very strict budget for birthdays/Xmas, no Netflix, no amazon prime, no national trust membership etc

I only work part time and don't earn a lot but it helps to pay for all of those extras.

Yes. Mine, or his. We both earn well, have been prudent with investments, and have made sure we are as financially as secure as we could be before having children. We're insured up to the hilt, but have allowed time (and money) for a brilliantly fun life! It is really, REALLY important to us.

Because making sure we could pay our way and take ownership of our decisions was really important to us. "Build in the buffer, plan for your future, and hopefully enjoy the rewards knowing we having a self-generated financial safety net". That was the plan.

Except we can't seem to have a family. I'm glad we're financially secure, but presently it feels fucking hollow (as much as we adore the life we have together).

It goes to show, everyone has their ideal, their plan, their reality. Maybe we should all try to save a bit more, or spend a bit more, but ultimately be kinder and more respectful of each other's circumstances. We only get one chance, Mumsnet, after all!

Well, to answer your specific question, yes, we could now, but we are both at the top end of our careers, no longer have childcare bills, and have paid off our mortgage.
However Your family member has some weird ideas. I would suggest they are very out of touch with the financial realities of young families in the 21st Century.

Nope, not really.
On my salary (4 days, professional job) we could cover the mortgage and most utilities. But not food, petrol or any extras.
On DH salary we could just about short-term but it would be very, very tight. Any extra unexpected costs such as a big house or car repair would be difficult to cover - would probably be a credit card job.
If either of us lost our jobs we’d have to get another job ASAP - any job, even unrelated to our professions, to keep going.

I'm a single mum working full time with no child care costs, it's hard but it's doable. But then it depends on how much you earn and mortgage costs/where you live. There's no way I could have managed earning what I do if I lived in London.

I'm the lower earner in our house. We could pay the mortgage, council tax and bills from my wage but it would leave a very minimal amount of money for us to live on afterwards and we definitely couldn't manage long-term. We could probably get by on just my DH's salary if we had to, but things would be very tight and our current, comfortable, lifestyle would change drastically.

We save every month and have a fairly comfortable net to fall back on if we had to. I'm due to go on maternity leave soon and it worries me a bit as it's such a big drop in household income (and won't improve much when I go back to work due to childcare fees being around half my salary) but I've done the sums and we can make it work whilst still contributing to savings, will just need to be more mindful than we have been. I'm very hot on ensuring we put as much into savings as we can as I like the security, but I wouldn't feel it necessary for us to live to my wage alone.

We manage on one salary and not a high one but we have a very small house, only one DC, one car and we make a lot of sacrifices.

Most couples we know who have DC, the woman only works part time, I'm struggling to think of anyone I know who has gone back to full time work after maternity.
I think we live in quite an affluent area though, we are the poorest people we know by far.

Actually I can think of a couple of women who have full time jobs now but their kids are teenagers. I was thinking about those with pre-school/primary age DC. 3 days a week seems to be the norm round here for most mothers.

I won't have a job soon and we are taking the exciting step of moving to a cheaper area.

We are downsizing our mortgage by £170k and hope to pay the remainder off early. I was fed up of financially struggling every month and trying to juggle a complicated life with work.

I was exhausted by it all and just felt like our dc were being rushed to and fro with no time to sit and read with them or make their favourite dinner for after school.

I'm glad now that my mean boss has bullied me out of a job - she has set me free!

We can pay all necessary bills on one salary. It doesn’t cover activities, clothes, coffees, car repairs etc... nothing else. So we dip into savings every month while I’m off work.

So when I eventually get a job interview and hopefully a job, we might just be able to have savings every year.

We'd survive very nicely on dh's money as he earns shit loads.
If we had to survive on mine the house would be repossessed.

I know literally no one that does that, unless the person with the lower income is a high earner it is just not possible. Most people pool their joint income and live according to what's coming in.
It would be nice to be able to do that have have thousands in the bank but not very realistic.

I live alone in a mortgaged house (south east) and manage well on my one salary. I've learnt to budget well and have some savings, and buy company shares each month. If I lost my job I would last about 3 months however! Having said that I would work in any job to keep money coming in. It's certainly easier for two.

We could easily manage on my salary. TBH, we already do, most of DH's goes into savings at present.

Now that we have paid off our mortgage, we could probably just about manage on DH's, but it would be tight. We would probably have to use savings to maintain dd's expensive hobbies, but we could at least afford to eat/heat the house etc. Though I suppose on DH's income we would probably qualify for tax credits/child benefit etc, so I guess that would help.

Yes. It's bloody awesome. We've been together a long time, before career changes, and both of us grew up quite poor so not having to worry about money is a massive weight off our shoulders.

Every family is different. I certainly wouldn't criticise others for needing 2 salaries.

We could manage on DHs salary. Many single parents manage on my salary alone too.

Yep, we do. 3 of us. I'm a single parent so don't have the luxury of 2 salaries. I work full time and have done since dd was 10 months old.
To the previous poster who said you can't live on £20,000 you can.

We could just about manage on my 27k salary but it wouldn’t be much fun. We’d have no problem on dh’s 55k but I wouldn’t want to do it anyway! When we were first married we bought a house and we’re perfectly happy on 17k but you get used to things.

I darn well hope so because I'm the only one in this household who earns a salary- my infant son doesn't contribute a thing!

Of course it’s doable but I suggest it very much depends on the size of that one salary compared to your outgoings! We live comfortably on one fairly good salary.