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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you can afford to live on one salary?

211 replies

coffeeforone · 15/01/2019 12:46

I'm currently on mat leave and due to go back full time soon. DH found out last week that his job is at risk of redundancy.

We need to do the sums to work out if we would be able to manage on one salary in the short-medium term and if not, what cutbacks we need to make.
I was chatting to a family member earlier who is very shocked that we do not already know with confidence we can live on one salary and should already have been living within the means of the lowest earner in case of this eventuality.

AIBU to this it is ok to need to spend more than one salary if you both work?

OP posts:
OrdinarySnowflake · 15/01/2019 14:13

Surely people know what they need as a minimum to cover bills and food each month? You therefore should easily know if that's more or less than the lower earner takes home each month.

I do find it odd that so many people are so relaxed about budgetting, on realtively low wages - you sort of expect people who are super rich to not bother themselves about how much the water bill is, but for 'normal' people, how do you know what you've got to spend if you don't know what you need to cover the basic outgoings?

(We could and have previously lived off just DHs wage, I only work a few hours part time so we couldn't live off what I currently earn, if I went full time we could, but I'd have to move jobs as it's a job share and so couldn't increase my hours with current employer.)

Nicpem1982 · 15/01/2019 14:14

Yes we could manage on my part time salary if we had to short term, i wouldn't want to though as itd be tight

We have a small mortgage, less than half average rent which would help and i can cook well on a budget.

Could but definitely wouldnt want to!

Alarae · 15/01/2019 14:20

We could, but it would mean suspending payments to pay back FIL who lent us the house deposit (which he would not mind in the slightest).

Unfortunately we live in a popular commuter town to London and our mortgage represents that. We really need a second wage in the household so we can actually save and do things other than the bare minimum.

Original poster
coffeeforone · 15/01/2019 14:22

@OrdinarySnowflake I do have an idea of our total outgoings but i mean I now have to work out to the penny, to see if we can afford it and exactly how much we'd have left (or be short) after covering all the basics as it would be pretty close.

By 'do the sums' I just mean, There are things I need to work out, like my new take home pay (I've just had a pay rise but on SMP at the moment so won't actually get paid this until I return next month.

OP posts:
PatchworkGirl · 15/01/2019 14:24

Yes, we try to keep our essential outgoings to one salary so we can save. Two low incomes here (but with the flexibility to increase if needed).

DialsMavis · 15/01/2019 14:25

Not at all.
Our rent is £1900 pm. We are leaving London to buy soon but our mortgage will still be £1000 pm.
DH Earns £40k and I earn £27k both full time

MagpieWife · 15/01/2019 14:25

We could manage it in the short to medium term - and we'll need to when I have a baby in the summer (not in the UK, no maternity leave).

When we bought a flat (in a much much much more affordable market than Bristol, where we lived in the UK), we consciously chose something we could afford on my husband's salary. We can meet our bills and buy food on his income, and we have a chunk of savings put by for emergencies.

In the long term though it just isn't sustainable. We will struggle to save when I'm not working and will have to limit indulgences like holidays and meals out. I just don't want to live like that forever! I also worry about my husband having the stress of being the sole earner. So I'll probably go back to work after a year or so.

My dream would be for us both to work 3-4 days a week, but I don't think that's realistic - at least not any time soon!

Very interesting to read everyone else's perspectives.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 15/01/2019 14:27

We can and do live on my salary alone as DH was made redundant some years ago. He is not likely to go back to anything over minimum wage.

So yes.

Morgan12 · 15/01/2019 14:29

Yep we do. I'll return to work when DD goes to nursery. Even then I'm not sure what we will do about school holidays but will cross that bridge when we come to it.

AllMYSmellySocks · 15/01/2019 14:29

If you constantly lived like this the whole family would miss out on so many opportunities because most of your money would be sitting in savings. Since DH is a high earner we do save and have a safety net for the event that he lost his job (and we have insurance if he could no longer work due to health issues). We also bought a house that wasn't a stretch so if he at some point earned less we would still be able to manage. This was a luxury we only had because he is now earning a high salary.

It makes sense to have a safety net but if your DH lost his job surely he would expect to be working again at some point? So you wouldn't need to live indefinitely on one salary?

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 15/01/2019 14:33

We could manage on DH's full-time salary if we cut out the extras like holidays. Definitely couldn't on mine as I'm part-time.

If I went full-time right now, a lot of the extra income would be swallowed up with childcare costs, even though my children are older as after-school care is expensive here and we have ridiculously long summer holidays.

Kahlua4me · 15/01/2019 14:33

We manage on one salary and have done for a long time. Well we run a business together so I suppose we both get money now but for a long time dh was a sole trader and we managed.

Things were tight but it was fine. Allowed me to be at home when dc were little so saved on nursery, child care fees etc.

Vicious2018 · 15/01/2019 14:36

Yes. Dh earns enough for me to stay at home. I am planning to go to work at some point.

Madmarchpear · 15/01/2019 14:36

I haven't worked in 6 years. Planning to go back when youngest in reception this year. We have income of 1800. Outgoings about 850 all in but we are in the North.

MrsBandersnatch · 15/01/2019 14:38

We've lived on one salary right from buying our house, which coincided with the birth of our daughter. She was born with severe SN and I was unable to return to work because of caring responsibilities. (Her needs were too complex for sitters or nursery)

Never worked since. And my state pension is a lot further away than it used to be. Work pension is just double figures per month.
We've managed ok, although we don't save anything and certainly have less disposable than any of our friends.

I think it's wise to save as much as you can. Nobody knows what's around the corner.

PigletJohn · 15/01/2019 14:40

I think people who could get by if their household income was slashed must have rather low housing cost.

For a time we had to live on my income which was sufficient to pay mortgage, council tax, utilities and travel to work. Nothing left over for food and clothing. Car had to come off the road.

Savings and increased debt had to bridge the gap.

If it had gone on for long, it would have been rather serious.

It's often said that you need enough tucked way as an emergency cushion to tide you over 3 months/6 months/a year. But you need some good times to build up such a cushion.

Anybody, and I mean anybody can suffer a redundancy, employer going bust, loss of big contract, customer going bust, downturn of trade, bereavement, accident or illness. I've been through several of those.

blackteasplease · 15/01/2019 14:40

Well I only have one salary so yes.

But I don't live on the basis of being ok if I lost my job because then it would be zero. So I'm not sure why people in couples should have to live as though either could imminently be fired.

Sparklesocks · 15/01/2019 14:42

We currently both work FT, live in zone 5 of London and commute in to zone 1. No DC yet (but hopefully soon). It would be tough because rent around here is so high, we could maybe manage if we moved into a 1 bed further away from the station and overhauled our spending, but it would be hard. We could move out to a cheaper area, but then commuting costs would be higher and any savings on rent lost in that. I think it depends a lot on where you live and what outgoings you can’t reduce.

Oly4 · 15/01/2019 14:44

Yes because DH is a higher earner. My salary would only cover the mortgage

NeverTwerkNaked · 15/01/2019 14:46

We could but it wouldn’t be much fun!
We made sure when we took our mortgage that it would be just about manageable on one salary. However all kids activities, holidays , saving up, mortgage over payments etc would have to go and we would really have to be careful.
We’ve both been in current jobs around a decade and they are fairly secure but one of my motivations for making mortgage over payments etc is to build up a cushion. None of us ever know what might be round the corner, whether that’s redundancy, ill health or a no deal Brexit

Updownleftrightstart · 15/01/2019 14:47

We absolutely couldn't manage. Our basic outgoings are quite a lot more than either one of our salaries.

Unless one of the couple is an high earner, I don't see how anyone who lives/works in London could manage this.

Purplecatshopaholic · 15/01/2019 14:54

Some of us have to (OH cheated and got kicked to the kerb) - grateful I can afford mortgage, bills etc on my own

CookingGood · 15/01/2019 14:54

Yes. I do. I have no choice as a single parent other than to live on one wage.

Muddlingalongalone · 15/01/2019 14:55

Yes ish - I'm a single parent so I do, but exh pays minimum maintenance so that is additional income. Once dd2 goes to school & my childcare bill drops I would be just about ok.

TheOrigFV45 · 15/01/2019 14:55

Thankfully, yes I can afford my mortgage and to raise 2 kids on my salary, since I am a lone parent.

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