To have no time for 'nonsense' anymore

[scoobydoobydoooooh]

People expecting me to travel thousands of miles to attend their destination wedding.

People putting their name on waiting lists for designer handbags that cost thousands of pounds.

Pamper parties for 9 year olds.

Any other grumpy old ladies like to list the modern day nonsense they can live without?

That BBC icons thing has irrationally pissed me off. What’s the fucking point? Why do we need months of breathless speculation on the One Show as to whether people think Earnest Shackleton will beat Martin Luther King. It’s reducing historical figures to the level of a Pokemon battle. There’s no objective best 20century icon, it’s entirely subjective.

Also kids on scooters and balance bikes every bloody place I go. I was queuing at immigration at Heathrow the other week, and noticed a couple of kids with scooter/suitcase combos. What idiot thought “I know, let’s combine the ankle bashing irritation of a child wheeling a trunki through an airport with the shin bruising annoyance of a child on a scooter in a busy place”?

Silly expressions like 'reaching out' and 'playdate'.

Poems asking for money in wedding invitations.

Big, expensive, long drawn out hen parties.

I may get flamed for this one but...

It being acceptable to go outside in your pyjamas or tracksuit bottoms when not playing sports. I don't mind casual but a bit of effort would be nice. Nowadays it seems to be trendy to look like you just got out of bed but with a full face of makeup on!

I was having this conversation with a group of similarly minded middle aged friends recently. We all agreed that we no longer had any tolerance for nonsense.

Is it a hormonal thing do you think, like teenagers getting rebellious in oreder to break out from the family unit. Are middle aged women programmed to have a bullshit filter in order to stop the tribe from going off the rails with new fangled nonsense?

Or is it to give men an excuse to cull the non breeders and leave us out on the ice somewhere?

Snapchat filters
Kids with smartphones
Political apathy
Self righteous arseholes
Rude bastards
Smokers
Entitled pet owners
Humans

Oh another

Have the second child = rush out and buy a 7 seater.
or have a 3rd and get a fucking minibus

Actors/singers who think their political stand point is more important than everyone else. Shut up.

Internet influences and vloggers. Get a proper job.

Footballers and actors earning ridiculous amounts of money. Again, get a proper job.

This is the scooter case thing

People who can't sit through a two hour film without constantly chewing and slurping and gorging and rustling, not to mention stinking the place out with those bloody nachos.

Bluth

Balance bikes in general. Get a trike like everyone else!

That scooter thing is a work of twisted genius. What evil mind could conceive of such a thing? My kids would've loved it.

@poundoflard in fairness that's likely to do with massive car seats not fitting in a regular car. I've got 3 kids and we can't all get in a normal sized 5 person vehicle unless it's an SUV as they're all in car seats.

People who boast about how late they have to work. Clearly you are just inefficient.

Advice about how best to raise your child. Especially when it's clearly judgy, extra marks for backhanded compliment "well of course our Timothy has been using a knife and fork since he could sit up, but it's so open minded that you still let your children "explore" their food with their hands at their age..." bleugh

Fake tan. Especially when your face is a different colour to the rest of you. And it's the middle of winter and no one has seen the sun for what feels like forever.

Yes yes yes on the instamums especially because you know damn well that there is a catastrophic mess just off camera

I feel like I'm too young to be this grumpy, but I guess it's good practice for when I'm actually over 60

I have found my people!

The obscene amount footballers get paid

Designer handbags that cost thousands

Young girls caked in make up with ridiculous eyebrows

All the z-list 'celebs' from reality shows

Gemma fucking Collins - vile, talentless woman

Hen/stag parties that go on for days and have to happen abroad

Excessive overindulgence and people panic-buying mountains of food for Christmas - the shops are shut for ONE DAY

The americanisation of Halloween

People being rude to NHS doctors and nurses

Oh god @Lydia cinema food makes me have the rage.

@Lydiaatthebarre I had the chewing slurping and rustling thing at the ballet recently!! I do not need the overture for Swan Lake interrupted by a fucking crisp packet. I was so cross.

And the girls behind me got flipping told before the start of Act III. The look I got from their mother was choice. I didn't give a shit.

If you can't teach your children how to behave in a theatre, don't fucking bring them.

Talentless nobodies becoming celebrities because they slept with a footballer/are related to somebody well known/made an exhibition of themselves on some tacky reality show.

The whole 'school gate mum' stuff.

People throwing tantrums because their child hasn't been invited to a wedding. In fact anyone who thinks their child is the second coming and should be welcomed everywhere and anywhere.

Drama about things which have always been there, and angst about it being some kind of new 'epidemic'. such as the 'loneliness epidemic'

It's always been there but suddenly it's like it is a new thing. and other dramas about such things. The endless over angst and anxiety about normal things.

I have so little tolerance for anything I deem "silly" that I'm actually worried that I'm not just a grumpy old bag but a budding murderess.

Strangers give me advice on my arthritis
Friends who openly wonder if they are 'coming down with' arthritis because 'my wrist is a bit tender'

Seems you can't have an auto-immune/inflammatory arthritis without people immediately beginning to lecture you (and it is lecture ) you on diet/turmeric/rubbing yourself with unicorn fat, wearing a cocoa fibre cape and dancing under the moon.

Also the whole drama over 'parenting' and like it is something to be correct on / perfect on. People have always had children. It's part of life. And people sharing stuff on social media about how to get it right.

People who skip queues - We are all in a hurry.
People who manage to take up the entire pavement and make it hard to pass them out
This endless obession with being an ‘influencer’, preaching nonsence to their ‘followers’ or worse still, making a fortune out of it Gwyneth Paltrow is shameless. Mind you if fools and their money are easily parted maybe she is right.
Car drivers expecting other motorists to give way to them and not get the way when they are on the road.
Car drivers who use full beams right behind you, flashing lights, beepig horns then overtake at a spead of knots.
‘Experts’ who really aren’t experts at all.
Political polls with headlines announcing ‘x of the population want/agree with y’. It isn’t, it is of the number of people polled, usually 1000 and nearly always the same people as the previous one.

-I have no time for attention seeking. If you’re not going to further embellish as to why you’re “done with people!/fuming!/SO upset!/at hospital” Sally, then I don’t give a fuck.

• I have no time for gigantic thick stripes of black eyeliner masquerading as eyebrows.
• I have no time for kids telling me they’re “shook” or “woke” or calling me “bro.” Call your brother “bro.” Not me.
• I have no time for one upmanship. My husband is accomplished at this. I’ve got a raging temperature and can barely keep my eyes open as I shiver under a blanket and try to tend children, but his achy back requires a bath and early bed, because it’s just horrendous.
• I have no time for people who let you know they know something but can’t tell you what. Don’t tell me anything then! Either tell me all of it or don’t even hint at it!