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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious over what has just happened?

652 replies

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 09:46

Out Walking our dogs and my 6 month old baby in carrier. I have four dogs and look after one of my friend's dogs while she's at work occasionally. My four are quite large, the biggest being big German shepherd size and the smallest is a pug (friend's dog).

Before I get flamed for having too many dogs, two were mine, two my DH's before we met, so obviously we now have four. We aren't the kind of people to get rid of dogs just because we had a child - dogs are family too and we treat them as such.

We live in the countryside, very quiet rural area.
Coming to the end of our walk over the fields (where I never usually see any other walkers) I see another dog approaching - muzzled Siberian husky with a bloke.
At this point I already have four on leads ready for the road back to our house and bent down squat position to put pug on a lead.

I thought man would stop when he saw me bent down but he carried on approaching. I was struggling to get wriggly pug back on lead so I called out to him "can you just wait there a sec so I can get this one on the lead?" - No response and continues towards us.

Still trying to get dog on lead and my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks.
Just to add here, our dogs are all very well behaved but they are protective over me and DD and will act accordingly if they feel threatened.

Man takes no notice, I call out again and say "can you just give me a second?" Ignores me completely.

He decides to squeeze by my dogs and I with a stupid smirk on his face. He can clearly see I'm struggling and baby is now crying and the others are pissed off. One of mine pulled forward and I dug my heels in and sat back so as not to land on my daughter.

I shouted at him and called him a fucking arsehole.

If he could have waited one second, I'd have been out the way and that wouldn't have had to have happened.

FFS Angry I just despise people at times.

OP posts:
KarenDarling · 15/01/2019 10:13

Why are you walking a friends dog too when your hands are already very full with your own 4 and baby?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/01/2019 10:14

One of them does tend to feel threatened by people approaching straight towards him that he doesn't know, hence him being on a lead and getting a bit twitchy when this man was approaching.

Had the man stayed back for a few more seconds, I could have moved to the side with all dogs on leads

That’s the thing though. He didn’t, and you can’t control or predict what others do when out so if you have a twitchy dog it’s you that’s taking the risk. It’s all very well saying “if only he had waited”, how does that prevent you falling and possibly hurting your baby?

Patroclus · 15/01/2019 10:14

Loads of eastern europeans have huskies. Could it be that he didnt understand you?

Bambamber · 15/01/2019 10:14

I find some other dog walkers to be courteous, others not so.

I walk my dog with my toddler. When most dog walkers see my toddler, if their dog is over friendly they tend to put them on the lead. Others just let their dogs bound straight towards my toddler, or there's been cases where she's been knocked over when the other dog runs towards mine. It can be annoying but that is the joys of using a public field. The other option is to pay to hire an enclosed field.

I have to say taking 4 large protective dogs out at a time with a baby in a carrier doesn't sound ideal. Would you be able to control them all if they felt that you was in danger? And then adding in someone else's dog into the mix.

Bowchicawowow · 15/01/2019 10:14

Perhaps he was but simply made a mistake when assessing the situation? People do make mistakes you know and don’t deserve to be verbally abused.

SuperstarDJ · 15/01/2019 10:15

No idea why you posted on AIBU OP as you clearly think you weren’t and aren’t interested in being told otherwise Grin

Productrecall · 15/01/2019 10:16

It’s just good manners to hold back whilst you put your dog in a lead. I would have done. He is just an arse, language barrier or not, he had eyes.

To be fair, he could have thought it would only take a second, and didn't think it necessary to slow down. I wouldn't have. OP said her dogs were well behaved, so he wouldn't have anticipated a problem, if they were all just standing around nicely. I'd have a very long walk if I stopped every time I saw someone ahead of me fiddling with a dog collar.
I may also smile at someone sympathetically if their dog is being a pain, (dog walkers all smile and say hello where I walk), no doubt this would come across as a smirk...

ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/01/2019 10:18

but if you're in charge of a dog, you ought to be paying a bit of attention to your surroundings.

Well, at least he was in charge of his dog. You weren’t.

RiverTam · 15/01/2019 10:18

what's with this, he didn't hear/understand you? He wasn't blind, FFS, he could see the situation and anyone who isn't a completely self-centred bellend would respond accordingly.

pandechocolate · 15/01/2019 10:18

Well, at least he was in charge of his dog. You weren’t.

How wasn't she?

Janus · 15/01/2019 10:19

As an owner of dogs I’d be pretty pisssd off too, people who have dogs on a lead and a muzzle should be aware that other dogs may need a moment to grab and put on a lead too (always etiquette to put your dog on a lead if another dog is on a lead). He was being a complete arse watching you struggle. BUT I’m afraid I also wouldn’t walk that many with a baby in a carrier, think you’d have to say no to friend or explain you can have their dog but not walk as 5 really is ambitious. I admire your determination though!

thaegumathteth · 15/01/2019 10:19

Yep the only possible alternative to him being a twat is that you need to leave your dogs to run wild Hmm

ZogTheOrangeDragon · 15/01/2019 10:19

I agree that it’s quite reasonable to think he couldn’t hear you (further away than you thought, deaf or had headphones in) or else he didn’t understand but if he could see you were struggling then I think he could have had the courtesy to have stopped but maybe he just didn’t realise or perhaps he thought it was better for him to just get past you and be on his way.

I do completely agree with you that you don’t rehome pets and if you have a couple of dogs and meet a partner with another couple then you have all of them and deal with it. However, you have to prioritise your DC and if you have a six month old in the sling then you have to make sure that you know you never need to rely on somebody else doing something whilst out walking so perhaps it’s best not to walk another dog for now or take a pram on the occasions you do have five out with you.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/01/2019 10:19

Btw if I was walking my dog and saw someone with 5 dogs, one not on lead and a baby in a carrier I would stand well back. I wouldn’t trust them all to be under control or the handler to be able to regain control.

Madmozzie · 15/01/2019 10:19

Not saying it does @Bowchicawowow but if you're in charge of a dog, you ought to be paying a bit of attention to your surroundings.
And they did, they still used their eyes... Which apparently is enough to realise the situation and intentions of other dogs and walkers, according to some on here. So no problem then.

Original poster
DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 10:20

I was concerned over upsetting his dog as it was muzzled. Obviously it's muzzled for a reason, whether it be dog or people reactive.
I just wanted to get out his way in a safe manner, I guess he wasn't all that bothered 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/01/2019 10:20

How wasn't she?

One she couldn’t get onto a lead and another jumped and almost pulled her over.

Littlechocola · 15/01/2019 10:21

People are dicks (as seen on this thread and on your walk).

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 10:21

he could see the situation and anyone who isn't a completely self-centred bellend would respond accordingly.

What he could see was the OP crouching down fiddling with the dogs collar. He probably assumed that she was attaching a lead to the dog and that it he was safe to continue as realistically how long does it take to clip a lead onto a collar? He didn't need to wait until the OP gave him permission continue.

mimibunz · 15/01/2019 10:21

He was an arse and not a good dog owner. If anything had happened, no matter which human was to blame, it’s the dogs that would have paid the price. The OP was trying to manage her end of the situation and he was refusing to cooperate, which could have led to a more challenging situation.

Why would you ignore a fellow dog walker asking you to hold up for a moment?

Onecabbage · 15/01/2019 10:22

Had he stopped, I think we’d be reading about some creepy guy who had fields all around him but chose to hang back in the alley and made you and your baby feel threatened.

You asked if you were being unreasonable, mumsnet says yes. You were struggling with five dogs and a baby, yet you’re trying to make this be someone else at fault. Sorry love, yabvu.

Houseonahill · 15/01/2019 10:22

The man was rude and should have waited. But it definitely isn't safe to be walking 5 dogs and have a baby, what if someone had a dog off a lead and yours got attacked? Or you hadn't "dug your heels in" and had been pulled over onto the baby?

LowbrowVictoriana · 15/01/2019 10:22

God forbid that we expect anyone to show a bit of consideration when we're struggling. And how dare we ask someone else to wait a minute? Hmm There are some complete wankers with no consideration for anyone else on MN.

That man sounds like a complete twat.
If I'm walking my dog, I'll hang back/ put him on a lead if approaching dogs are also on leads or look nervous. Or if someone's unleashed dog follows us, I'll stop and wait or walk it back to its owner so they're not struggling to get it back. Because I'm not a twat.

What a shame that so many regard manners and consideration as an optional extra these days.

NoIsACompleteButRudeSentence · 15/01/2019 10:23

So you were walking a large number of big dogs - his dog was fully under control but yours wasn't. You struggled to get them under control, nearly fell on your baby and then you called him a "fucking arsehole".

YABU. You're being irresponsible if you're putting your child at risk (by your own admission!) do you have to walk the difficult pug?

Genuine question, does the majority view here change your mind about your behaviour at all?

Stressedout10 · 15/01/2019 10:24

Op yabvu
You should not be walking 5 dogs with a baby. You can't control them and no they are not well behaved if they bark at an approaching dog ffs.
Also your blocking the exit, what gives you the right to do this and demand that he wait on you?

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