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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to request a term time family holiday?

43 replies

Mamalexi343 · 14/01/2019 18:09

We sent in an application to the headmaster for a term time family holiday which has come back denied.

The issue we have is that my DH works during all school holidays, they go in and do work on the school's when no one is there and they do this all over the country, it's their busiest times of year and he's not allowed to take time off work during these times.

He works 6 days a week and has 3 days off at Christmas and is allowed a week off in June, so we barely see him or get to spend time as a family. Why should my DD have to miss out on something a lot of her friends get just because her dad has to make a living?

Our DD is in year one and I'd already checked the week we want to go isn't conflicting with anything at the school and I stated that I was more than happy to take any schoolwork with us so she didn't fall behind however the headteacher has just said no unauthorised absence.

My DH is livid and has said he's gonna go up to the school and have words so naturally I've had to say I'll go but I've no idea how to word it all, AIBU? I understand the school's point of view and they have procedures to follow but at the same time if I've timed it well and agreed to take work with us why is it an issue?

I've had nothing but issues with this school since she started at the nursery there 2 years ago the latest being a head and back injury that they didn't follow procedures and made her get up, walk it off and gave her water for shock, didn't even tell me it'd happened, I found out from her and when confronted they said she 'seemed fine' I ended up in hospital with her for 4 days, this school is slowly sucking the life out of me.

Sorry for the long rant I just don't really know what to do.

OP posts:
DaanSaaf · 14/01/2019 18:11

Just go and accept the fine. I agree it's shit though, you have very good reason for needing it term time.

4strings · 14/01/2019 18:11

This will never (or very rarely) not be an unauthorised absence. Go on holiday and accept the fine. Or not.

Sirzy · 14/01/2019 18:11

You can still go just don’t expect it to be authorised and factor in you may get a fine.

Don’t ask for work though the teacher has enough to do without providing holiday work!

livingthegoodlife · 14/01/2019 18:13

Your not being unreasonable. I had a term time request denied today (but I have no excuse). One of the criteria on our firm was that the parents have restricted leave dates. At our school we have to submit evidence. Did you focus your application on that?

I'm taking my children anyway. Mine cited that they will not be taking part in an educational or sporting activity, which actually made me laugh as they will be in ski school all week which is both those things! Lol.

flumposie · 14/01/2019 18:13

Teacher here. Book your holiday. Your daughter is in year1 so not missing exams or exam work ! Worst case scenario you could get fined.

MatildaTheCat · 14/01/2019 18:13

Yes, just go. This could cause problems through your dc’s school career though, will your dh plan to change his work at any point do you think?

MediocrePenguin · 14/01/2019 18:13

Wanting to go on holiday would never be authorised at our school, whatever the circumstance - you just have to go anyway and get fined.

SureIusedtobetaller · 14/01/2019 18:13

Schools aren’t allowed to authorise holiday.
Take the time anyway, you probably won’t get fined if attendance is usually ok.
Don’t ask for work though- your choice to take holiday, don’t expect the teacher to work extraSmile

Huffleypuff · 14/01/2019 18:13

A holiday isn’t an entitlement. We could never afford one when I was a child. He’s being very unreasonable to want to “have words”.

If it’s that important to you just take your child out of class, you’ve obviously no qualms about what she will be missing, etc. I doubt you’ll ever get the permission

Notquiterichenough · 14/01/2019 18:14

Go on holiday, accept the fine, look into changing school. The holiday rule will apply for all schools, but our Head would say "sorry I can't authorise, but have a lovely holiday", and would ask your DC all about it afterwards.

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 14/01/2019 18:15

That's what we were thinking but DH is worried we'll just be prosecuted as he thinks they can do that? I'm not sure does anyone know?

They get homework every week so I was only going to ask for it before we go so we could do it whilst were there.

OP posts:
Newnamejusttoaskthis · 14/01/2019 18:15

I don't think the head has the power to authorise it, whatever your reason. They used to a few years ago but the law changed. I think you can still take a holiday but it will be unauthorised and both parents need to be prepared to pay a fine. You can still take work with you in DD's best interests so she doesn't fall too far behind, but it won't turn the trip into an authorised absence.

3WildOnes · 14/01/2019 18:15

They’re not allowed to authorise holidays. We send in a request when we go away as a politeness. It gets denied but we still go. They don’t actually seem to mind at our school if you have good attendance anyway. Just go. You might get fined but it’s only £60.

Janleverton · 14/01/2019 18:16

Just accept that it won’t be authorised - schools are more or less instructed not to authorise term time holidays. Make sure attendance otherwise is good, and go anyway, accepting a fine should the LEA decide to issue one.

No point really arguing the case. Schools don’t have the freedom they once did to be relaxed about term time absence, particularly since part of ofsted assessment is the attendance figures.

3WildOnes · 14/01/2019 18:17

Notquiterichenough ours says the same as long as attendance is otherwise good.
I think they only prosecute if you refuse to pay the fine. Or maybe if your attendance is really dire but not for a holiday.

MrDarcyWillBeMine · 14/01/2019 18:19

It’s crazy- I don’t get it at all! Not at primary age, I mean they’ll no doubt learn more visiting a different country than they would in class!

I honestly think schools must have some sort of ‘back door’ deal with the travel industry as can’t see any other motivation to block one annual term time holiday 😂

I know a family who took their 3 kids to Florida during term time- saved almost £2.5k and compared to that the fine was absoloute peanuts! They told the school this too- total honesty!

sausageees · 14/01/2019 18:20

The school isn't likely to be allowed to authorise term time holidays so your husband going up and 'having words' 🙄 will make no difference.

AJPTaylor · 14/01/2019 18:20

Look at your local authority info. In 2 places I have lived both won't prosecute if 5 days only per term

Lazypuppy · 14/01/2019 18:22

A holiday is unlikely to ever be authorised! Just go and accept the fine

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/01/2019 18:24

Holidays are authorised if no time is ever available in the holidays. Speak to the LEA.

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 14/01/2019 18:26

Thank you, it's actually called me down and my DH so I think we'll just go and accept the fine, thank you all again

OP posts:
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 14/01/2019 18:29

My husband doesn't have restricted annual leave but we couldn't afford to go away in school holidays. So we have no holiday. Why should your child be allowed a holiday and not mine?

ScrumptiousBears · 14/01/2019 18:30

What are your plans for the future and holidays OP? Your DC maybe in year one but unless your DH changes jobs this is always going to be an issue.

SnuggyBuggy · 14/01/2019 18:31

I agree with others, just budget for the fine.

donajimena · 14/01/2019 18:31

Now that mine are almost leaving school (secondary) I really wish I'd taken them out in term time. Childhood is gone in the blink of an eye.
No its not a right, but it is a lovely experience and its out of reach for many families during the school holidays.