To ask what's a small joy of being an adult you didn't expect?

[pandarific]

Not at all to dismiss the hard times being had by people on the companion thread, but so we all don't end up with Monday-itis... what are some small joys you have discovered come with being an adult?

Some of mine are:

• We have a tea cupboard. It is a little skinny cupboard not much good for anything else and houses all teas, coffees, cocoa making things etc. It is organised not by category but by frequency of use, and it gives me a little burst of pleasure every time I open it.
• I worked out why our washer dryer was shrinking and felting everything in sight BY MYSELF, with the manual, determination, and extended experimentation. I was so overjoyed I told our mutual friend who looked at me like ... but I do a lot of laundry.
• Having pets. The picture attached was the morning after an eye watering emergency vet bill... FFS. But look at his little face!
• Haggling - and the satisfaction of a good deal well done. Channelling Del Boy gives me immense joy, especially when the other party is a fellow Del Boy and you can have a bit of fun with it.
• The slow realisation that I can actually make my own decisions without anyone my mother needing to approve. And that I don't need to be a Nice Girl all the time.

Sex and intimacy. Having someone who wants to talk to you and and hold you and have sex with you and make you feel special and you can tell things to.

Not every adult has this and I have spent a lot of my adult life without it, with the wrong person, but even if you don't have it, knowing it is possible and allowed is better than just endless loneliness and being disregarded and despised all the time.

His Royal Fatness aka Colin

Bed as and when I want, big knickers, privacy, reading what I like and listening to music I like-not having to pretend to like pop.
Downside mainly no mum and realising at 74 there’s not much time left.

@Nannewnannew Monsieur Popcorn is a very louche sort of cat anyway, very French in general. But when he's feeling especially French, he likes to do a little slow swagger-y wall, waggling his tail around. (One of his many other names is Mr Waggy-tail )

I like His Royal Fatness. Just more of him to love.

As a PP said, being able to talk about certain subjects with a bit of knowledge and experience behind me. I likes that, I do.

Having people I your life who you can talk about topics and things that interest you in life without being mocked or being accused of swallowing a dictionary.

Being able to have polite dissent not if you're not with us you're against us.

@HarleyQuinnxx I have matching black and white kitties too.

I get to make the food I like.

I can lie in without my mum squeezing a wet flannel over me .

I can go out on my own and stay out as long as I want to.

The cat loves me best.

Oh, and I can mostly control my bladder now.

Being able to try something new without caring whether I look like a fool trying to ski/Bollywood dance/speak Italian/run barefoot in the park. It's the most wonderful freedom to try things that made you cringe as a child (or worse, teenager) without caring one bit if you are the worst in the class, or doing something others would perceive as odd. Literally giving zero whether anyone is watching or judging you. The BEST.

This may have been asked/answered already but here goes...

What did you discover about your washing machine that causes stuff to shrink and felt? looking at new Christmas top that would just about fit a child #asking for a friend

That I can make the decision to have these two amazing cats in my life

Being able to stop at the services whenever I want a wee- I still feel a pang of guilt when my husband is driving and I need a wee because I was made to feel so awfully guilty if I was desperate as a child and we had to stop. It's daft because I know he doesn't care!

Being able to go to local firework displays, fairs, fetes etc. My parents couldn't be arsed with all that, no idea why.

Eating as much cake mixture as I like when making a cake.

Outing but... today I went to a historical attraction and uploaded a pic of me and DFriend in front of it to Instagram. I also tagged myself as I was tagging DFriend anyway. My 13 year old nephew just commented ‘just so you know it’s really sad to tag yourself in your own pics’

I’m about to turn 30 and I found this utterly hilarious I then realised how insanely, wonderfully happy I am that I will never again have to give a shit about what is cool in Year 8! Ever!

(Plus when his mum sees that she’s going to give him such a telling off 😂)

My first thought on reading the title of the thread was ' how long will it be before someone mentions cats?'

Not long

Choosing who I spend time with. Nobody can force me to spend time with racist relatives or people who continually mock me.

Eating a variety of meals. My parents have about 5 dinners which they rotate. Risotto is nice, but not when you eat it twice a week for 18 years. My mum still expresses surprise if I say that I've tried a new recipe, because "you already know enough meals!"

Having nice lingerie. I remember wanting to buy a 'sexy' underwear set as a teenager but knowing my parents would be angry if they saw it in the wash. Now I can wear what I want.

Being able to help people. I'm a teacher and I try to be the kind of friendly, relaxed, engaging teacher that helped me as a teenager. I'm sure that some of my students disagree with this one but I try my best.

I can go to a cat orphanage and get these sweethearts without having to plead with an adult.

Self esteem. I like myself, I like who I am and how I look, and I don’t give a fuck what people think about me anymore, so no one can take it away from me. As a teenager I hated myself and thought I was an ugly freak, so this is hugely liberating.

I don’t have to spend time with or give headspace to anyone unless I want to. I can chose my family and friends, and tune out anyone at work that I can’t be arsed with.

Sex. Lots of amazing sex with someone who knows what they are doing and who I trust.

The knowledge that I am not trapped, if there is something in my life that I don’t like or which makes me unhappy, I can change it. It might be hard work to do so, it might be painful, but it’s under my control, even if all I can change is my attitude towards it.

Oh, and not having to hide my cigarettes, and never having to do PE.

That cat of MissingGeorgeMichael has no shame whatsoever.

sirmione16 is your cat a Turkish Angora. My best-loved cat ever was so like that.

Being able to choose not to have a TV.
Reading all night if I want.
Knowing nobody roots through my things and reads my letters before I get them (Mother)

Earning my own money and doing exactly what I want with it.

Also owning a cat - actually two cats. And not having to listen to anybody who tells me what to do.

can someone link the other thread please?