To ask what's a small joy of being an adult you didn't expect?

[pandarific]

Not at all to dismiss the hard times being had by people on the companion thread, but so we all don't end up with Monday-itis... what are some small joys you have discovered come with being an adult?

Some of mine are:

• We have a tea cupboard. It is a little skinny cupboard not much good for anything else and houses all teas, coffees, cocoa making things etc. It is organised not by category but by frequency of use, and it gives me a little burst of pleasure every time I open it.
• I worked out why our washer dryer was shrinking and felting everything in sight BY MYSELF, with the manual, determination, and extended experimentation. I was so overjoyed I told our mutual friend who looked at me like ... but I do a lot of laundry.
• Having pets. The picture attached was the morning after an eye watering emergency vet bill... FFS. But look at his little face!
• Haggling - and the satisfaction of a good deal well done. Channelling Del Boy gives me immense joy, especially when the other party is a fellow Del Boy and you can have a bit of fun with it.
• The slow realisation that I can actually make my own decisions without anyone my mother needing to approve. And that I don't need to be a Nice Girl all the time.

Yes to cats, cake for breakfast and interior decor

Yes to not being bullied and intimidated by other kids and horrid teachers and feeling sick on Sunday nights

Yes to not having to smile and take it when adults say stupid/wrong/insensitive things to you

Boo to paying for everything

The freedom. I can if I so choose, take myself and the kids off to the beach on any random Saturday.
If I wake up in the middle of the night, I can choose to turn the telly on to soothe me back to sleep.
I can go to be whenever I want.
If I want a hot water bottle/cup of tea/back rub all I have to do is ask dh and he will sort it for me.
If I want to eat cheese directly from the fridge at 10pm, I can do because I make the rules!!

Being grown up and retired is even better!

Jogging has become an unexpected pleasure. I used to dread the 1500m at secondary school and now I run over 3 times that for fun.

Also, as chief shopper I can buy myself secret shopping perks (keeping them secret is part of the fun) and then "oh, bye dh" as he goes for a haircut or something and I scoff a reduced foodstuff with "clementine brioche" in the title (that he wouldn't even like).

AND FRESH SHEETS

The silence.

My parents had the telly on all the time, my sister's the same, and they all talk over it and each other. DH's dad is incredibly large and loud, and his mum's a chatterbox. So the two of us absolutely revel in the quiet evenings, and the girls are used to turning off the TV etc when they've watched whatever, not leaving it on and wandering off. It's even better since we moved last year; no through traffic, no main road, and the loudest noise on a Sunday is a distant bell and a horse clopping up to the stables. At night all you hear is an occasional owl.

The kitties are super cute but I want to see the tea cupboard!!

I agree about the silence. My mother walks from room to room switching on radios. I love silence so much.

Thinking "fuck it" and getting a random piercing just because.
Going to music festivals with money to buy nonsense with.
Eating in fancy restaurants and getting dolled up to do so.
Having complete control over the food shopping purchases.
Having a long bath in the afternoon on my days off when the kids are at childcare.
Entire tubs of ice-cream.

When I can't decide between two flavours of food at the shop, and then I remember I can just buy both! That's my favourite!

Takeaway just because we have had a rough day and not only on birthdays.

Being able to buy nice clothes not just cheap clothes.

Letting the dog on the sofas, even .... gasp, oh the horror ... letting the dog sleep on the bed with me. Our childhood dog had strict restrictions on where he could go in the house, mine now goes wherever he likes. Pure joy.

Havng my own car means the luxury of never having to walk somewhere in the rain, getting absolutely soaked then in wet clothes all day (this happened throughout school). I walked my kids to/from school in dry weather, drove them if it rained, vowed no child of mine would be in wet/damp clothes all day in school.

Having a cup of coffee in bed of a morning to wake myself up, joyful also lazy

It probably is as I expected - ie, I can do what I WANT IN MY OWN HOUSE. I pay the bills so if I want to drink wine, and eat crisps, in my bed with my dog, I will do so - and I bloody love it. I hated being a child (I have mentioned this before) - I was always desperate to earn my own money and therefore have control of my own life.

See that's why I'm a dog person.
Cats are fucking weird.
A bagel cat.
I'm shuddering at their slinkiness.

"Eating whatever I damn well please and not being forced to eat food I am allergic or intolerant to because I was labeled fussy!" THIS!

I was 16 when I turned veggie, I had wanted to before then but wasn't allowed at home and made to eat meat (and believe me I tried dodging!) I ate veggie out the house. But at 16 I was finally allowed. Within the first few months I noticed my "ibs" was much improved. About a year in I was mistakenly in a restaurant given a vegetable soup made with meat stock - ended up in hospital with an "ibs flare up" that night. Dr picked up on the eating out and suggested checking with them re ingredients which led to finding out about the stock. I wondered but mostly was annoyed on the veggie side. Then a couple more times had similar instances in other cafes/restaurants and for me this confirmed it. Each time I'd had a stomach issue the meat product involved was red meat. When many years later (veggie 30 years now) it was in the news about red meat causing bowel issues neither I nor my family were at all surprised. Also my dad (committed carnivore and the main one not letting me go veggie initially) who's also had stomach problems for MANY years, at this point cut out red meat. A lot of his stomach problems went within 6 months.

I've never held with labelling kids fussy eaters or making them eat something they genuinely don't like. Kids are just as entitled to genuine likes and dislikes as adults plus I believe it's often the body rejecting a food likely to cause an intolerance or allergy. Dd hates chocolate and chips (yep weird kid!) but she's genuinely never liked them. Not sure about the chips, but turns out it's quite common in people with her disability not to like chocolate (something in it is an irritant of some kind?). The body knows!

"being able to get ice cream when the van comes round without asking, and even if i haven’t already had dinner/lunch!" Haha! Yes!

Not having to spend time with people I don't like and who clearly don't like me - that includes my sister.

All those mentioning decor, at the age of 46 I am for the very first time living somewhere I can completely decorate as I wish (previously was in either army quarters or private rented) and it's actually overwhelming! I'm sure I'll learn to enjoy it but not there yet.

Knowing that my clothes have been laundered correctly and they're not going to end up looking like shapeless rags due to being crammed into a 50 degree wash with the rest of the families clothes.
Knowing that I can buy nice lingerie of my choice rather than plain practical boring white. Cross your heart style bras anyone?
Nor do I have to wear plain practical white knickers that have been boil washed in bleach.
I can give my husband a quick kiss without my mother clutching her pearls and my dad rustling his newspaper.
I didn't have to hide my contraceptives away. ( I haven't needed them for years due to being sterilised, but still )

Oh, and I can use fabric softner on my laundry, which according to my mother was a waste of money.

I can have chocolate for dinner and no one can tell me not to

I love this thread!
I think my favourite thing about being an adult is not having to be around horrible people. School was full of bullies, and my mum was controlling and yelled a lot. Now when my mum tries to control my life I just ignore her, and when she tells me how to parent my kids I think how lucky they are that I won't.

This is a great thread. Making my own decisions, worrying less and less about trying to please other people (without being a dick about it), and developing stronger boundaries. And in particular making my own decisions about food, without reference to my mother’s many food rules.

To be able to just bring me.

Not to have doiles everywhere

Have sky TV (this is a biggie) my mom always said paying for TV is a massive waste of money.

Having my choice of cats that match cause I can not just one that's that's there.

pondarific love the kitty photos! Just curious to know what makes Monsieur Popcorn feel French? And how do you know? Does he wear a little beret or start meowing in a different language? 😺

I like chaoscategorised's one about being able to go ANYWHERE! It's such an undervalued benefit, thank you!

I like the fact I can go to bed...EARLY with nobody questioning me (and not worry whether my parents will take it as a precedent for subsequent nights).

I also like the fact I can talk about things (my job etc) with the authority that only time-served experience brings.

That I can read any book I want without my parents looking at the summary to check content first.

Freedom.
I can buy what I want when I want.
I can read way into the small hours if I want to.
I can buy as many food treats as I want