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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

7 year old boys party behaviour

54 replies

Mashedpotatobutty · 14/01/2019 09:58

This weekend I accompanied DS to his friends party. There were 12 there in total. I couldn’t believe how wild they were, jumping all over the chairs/tables at the food time, being ridiculously loud and not listening to parents or the party host. They were fine when doing their activity and to be fair it wasn’t all of them behaving like this but only a handful were listening and behaving appropriately.

My DS wants a party for his birthday but I’m a bit put off. Are all 7 year old parties like this?

OP posts:

TheFifthKey · 14/01/2019 10:04

Not in my experience - of course some craziness is to be expected and I would be expecting it to get loud, but I would also expect my DS and his friends to sit down and eat relatively nicely, not climb on furniture, listen to adults etc. In fact DS went to a party where one boy was very silly, pushing and shoving and having to be told off, and the other boys (who are by no means paragons of virtue) were very shocked and still mention it a few months later.

Clawdy · 14/01/2019 10:07

I've been to several little boys' parties like that. Think that's why trampoline and soft play parties became so popular!

LordNibbler · 14/01/2019 10:20

Having been in the children's entertainment business I've obviously been at many hundreds of children's parties. The worst ones seem to be the all boys parties. Especially where the parents all stand together chatting letting the kids run around wild with no supervision. Once it starts it's very difficult to calm them down.The best ones have been where the party is structured. Make sure there is always something to do. Stamp on bad behaviour immediately with distraction. If the children realise there is someone in charge and they won't be allowed to run wild then things run a lot better. Do not be afraid to tell them off if they misbehave, because once they get out of control and overexcited you'll have a job pulling it back. If they know someone is the boss, and there are things to do you are much less likely to end up in a mini riot.

nellieellie · 14/01/2019 10:23

I remember my DS’s 6th party. It was like a feral stampede. I’d lost my voice by the end of it. My DS hated it.

nellieellie · 14/01/2019 10:24

His class at that time was notorious though....

NWQM · 14/01/2019 10:28

Does describe a lot of parties I’ve been to. Stressful for the host and very annoying when you’ve paid x for the party. It seemed to me that it all about being ‘too cool’ to party. I did activities party’s as a result from then.

CallingDannyBoy · 14/01/2019 10:32

It depends on the class, older DS parties were generally fine. Younger DS at that age were awful to the point I thought about not even taking him. It has calmed down a lot as they get older but I ‘vet’ the invite list. I think the food bit is generally the worst part of it so I didn’t do it at one party.

They had a 2 hour party in a sports hall run by sports coaches with inflatables (great fun) but I didn’t do any food - made it clear on the invites. Quite a few parents did this.

partypooper40 · 14/01/2019 10:38

My DS1 (5) friends from nursery can be pretty feral when they get wound up. He has asked for a party at home for his 6th birthday.I think I will say no.....

popcornwizard · 14/01/2019 10:39

Just make sure that one of the parents is school staff. The influence she had on parties as she walked into the room never ceased to amaze and amuse us.

BangingOn · 14/01/2019 10:40

Structure is definitely key and often having a party host/entertainer/activity organiser etc who isn’t a parent can really help as IME kids often respond better to an adult authority figure who isn’t their parent when they are excited.

O4FS · 14/01/2019 10:40

None of the parties I’ve had for my boys have been like that. Usually activity based at that age, laser quest/football.

If he has an energetic group of friends, local leisure centre parties are pretty good and not as pricey as alternatives.

O4FS · 14/01/2019 10:42

Also, parents aren’t needed to accompany at this age. Drop off and leave. It’s a lot harder, as the host, to keep order in front of other children’s parents.

3WildOnes · 14/01/2019 10:47

There’s always quite a bit of noise but I can’t recall any children climbing on tables and chairs. The boys normally have activity parties so football/trampolining/rugby etc,. They are normally tired after and eat some food and then leave.

M3lon · 14/01/2019 10:48

My DD has been to a few 7 yo boy birthday parties that were nothing like that...however obviously they weren't exclusively male or my DD wouldn't have been there.

TBH I think its the beginning of lad culture to have single gender parties and then let boys behave like that.

ChoccyBiccyTastic · 14/01/2019 10:48

My DS had his 7th birthday party recently, and it was nothing like this. We took 10 of them bowling. They had a fab time, were very excited, but behaved beautifully. He has also been to quite a few of his friend's parties lately, and they're fine.

I think the right activity, number of kids, and length of party help. 10-15 boys for a 2hr party with a fun, age-appropriate activity is a winner. 40 kids in a hall for 3 hours with nothing but your iPod playlist is a recipe for carnage.

Boys sometimes get stupid right at the end, when food is finished but parents haven't quite arrived. Simon Says or Musical Statues usually covers you for the final 5-10 mins if necessary, but they're usually past this by age 7.

appless · 14/01/2019 10:52

An activity party at a specific location is far preferable to a house party at that age. Ensures they have something to focus their attention instead of just running around like lunatics.

katseyes7 · 14/01/2019 10:57

When my cousin's son was little, he had a 'princesses and pirates' party at the village hall. Apparently his dad had to confiscate the sword from one of the pirates.
Compared to the OP, this seems very mild!

Original poster

Mashedpotatobutty · 14/01/2019 11:03

It was an activity party we went to, they behaved fine for the whole of the activity (1.5 hours and very active). The food bit afterwards was just horrendous. The party host was quite stern, and the Birthday child’s parents tried to calm things but they just were not listening. The parents of some of the children behaving like this were just standing watching and not even trying to intervene. Only 2 of us did check our children for it. I really don’t know what to do about my DS’s.

OP posts:

ElsieMc · 14/01/2019 11:06

I always hired community halls or farm type venues for dds' parties when they were younger. Obviously girls, but we invited some boys. We had a rubbish magician once and all the kids shouted at him. I also asked a friend to help me out at one and after she told me to never ask her again, she was absolutely exhausted!

Worst every party was at our own home when we had a bouncy castle and asked my brother to dress as a ninja turtle (yes, that long ago). It wasnt the kids, it was the adults who had a few beers and bounced wildly on the bouncy castle, dressed as turtles. I was heavily pregnant and had to get on to remove my over exuberant sister in law. I had to go and apologise to our new neighbours the day after.

No real answers op, just provide entertainment of some kind to keep them focussed and fgs dont make the party too long as that is a recipe for disaster. Learnt from my own mistakes.

formerbabe · 14/01/2019 11:09

At the risk of being flamed, this is typical behaviour for primary age boys at parties...not so much girls.

jessstan2 · 14/01/2019 11:13

I've no doubt people will object to my saying this but it isn't only me who has said it: Little boys' parties can be simply awful. Whatever you say or have arranged they go for a 'free for all" and some fight. I never quite believed it when i heard about it from friends but when I had my own, it was quite a shock!

All I can say is they do outgrow this 'phase' and later have girls at the party (who smuggle in vodka and get drunk). Then you have to 'police' outside, if weather is good, and bedrooms.

Many years ago, friends of mine had party for daughter's 18th, in summer. Weather was very hot. The party extended out into the back garden. My 14 year old son was standing outside the shed at bottom of the garden, nursing a glass of beer. I asked him why he was there on his own, he told me, quite matter of factly, that birthday girl's brother, cousin and some friends were 'smoking joints' and he was keeping watch in case any 'old' people' were inquisitive. I suppose the 'old people' included me but I said nothing!

A little bit later they all came in, bit giggly, and girl's brother came up to me and said could I help his mum, she'd had too much to drink and fallen off toilet! I did investigate but she was standing up by that time and said she'd just fallen asleep.

The parents, smashing people, were the sort who would have said, "My children would never do.....:" etc.

Quite funny to think of now, I've never enlightened them. Both of their kids, and mine, grew up to be good people, pillars of society!

Chill girl and have but not too much and some .

Fluffyunicorns · 14/01/2019 11:17

I found that with my son it was best to organise a fairly long activity and then allow about 10 mins for the food afterward. They had eaten all they needed in that time and they did not have time to go wild before their parents were there to at least watch while they chatted at pick up. The year I allowed 40 mins for food they ended up pouring the jugs of squash into the balloons and making squash bombs. It took me a couple of years to realise that my daughters parties were different - her friends could sit still for longer!

bookmum08 · 14/01/2019 11:21

My daughter actually stopped wanting to go to parties because they were too big, too loud and too crazy. We tried to host small at home parties but even then it would end in tears (from my poor girl). These modern parties are horrible and not fun.

steppemum · 14/01/2019 11:23

hmm, hard one.

I have done loads of kids parties. Usually at home, and I have never had it as bad as that.
But, most parties were mixed. The last all boys one was aged 8 or 9, and I decided that was the last! Both my dds have mixed social groups so theirs were always girls and boys.

Also, I am a teacher (although not at their school), and I help in their school on school trips and things, and most kids were from school, so they already knew me in an 'authority' position, so if I said - that's enough, they listened.

What I always do is keep it moving so every minute is structured, game to game, to treasure hunt, to food then home. No time to mess around. I have never had a problem over the food but then I do always do it so the food comes at a normal food time, so they are hungry, and we were sitting around a table in my home, I don't know if that makes any difference.

I think, if I had been party mum, I would have raised my voice and then been very firm. Nice, but firm. A bit of shaming goes a long way - Come on boys, you all know how to sit and eat properly a a table, you don't want to show yourselves up as the only one who can't behave? Lets SIT down, EAT properly, and KEEP voices on table level, not shouting.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 14/01/2019 11:24

hire a local yoga teacher? hire a football coach? do army fitness or with a PT doing mini circuits? this will knacker them- and PTs arent hugely expensive.... most will do £25-50 for an hour... then after have a dinner with low sugar, high carbs and they will calm down.

Be a total party pooper and serve fruit infused waters - no sugary sodas, and all sugary snacks etc can be given 20 mins before the blighters leave :) Ready for their parents...........

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