7 year old boys party behaviour

[Mashedpotatobutty]

This weekend I accompanied DS to his friends party. There were 12 there in total. I couldn’t believe how wild they were, jumping all over the chairs/tables at the food time, being ridiculously loud and not listening to parents or the party host. They were fine when doing their activity and to be fair it wasn’t all of them behaving like this but only a handful were listening and behaving appropriately.

My DS wants a party for his birthday but I’m a bit put off. Are all 7 year old parties like this?

My DS is in year 2 so currently going though 7year olds boys parties. I have never come across this (the closest I’ve come is a 6year olds party with one particular child who made about 5kids cry before the mum sorted it out. I’d be horrified if my 7year old acted like this and if his friends tied it I’d soon stop it (although I suspect parents would step in straight away. Anything else would be seen as extremely poor parenting).

I’ve been to a few and some have been like this - mainly ones where there is a lot of hanging about. Mini golf for example they were like feral beasts. We’ve done ninja warriors, outdoor parties, soft play and they have all been fab. Keeping them busy is the answer.

Girls parties are definitely calmer! I find girls are mostly able to sit still for longer. Boys will sit for as long as it takes to finish their food and then will want to be up and about, girls seem much happier to sit and chat.
I notice this when all of the cousins in our family are together too, the girls will often sit a draw whilst the boys are outside playing football and struggle to sit still for any amount of time. There are obviously exceptions, out of 10 of them altogether, 1 of the girls is the wildest of them all and very rarely sits down to do an activity and one of the boys much prefers sitting down to quiet activities than running around.

We've seen some rather spirited behavior at parties at that age, both from boys and girls. I think my main tip is to have far more activities/games up your sleeve than you think you can possibly fit in, because some of them will totally bomb and then you need to move on to something else ASAP to avoid a few going feral. Any game where people are "out" is a particular hot spot. IME A home party with more than half a dozen kids is a two-man job - one to do the activity and another to sort our any tears/arguments/going off to investigate that invariably happens.

Also don't be afraid to set your stall out early on with regard to a few bottom-line rules - a wee bit of bollocking firmness early on is ok and everyone will still have a nice time.

I'd say it depends whether you tolerate it or not.
I don't mind children being boisterous and having fun, but I wouldn't tolerate bad manners/jumping on furniture.
I've always avoided having to deal with this kind of behaviour by having fairly structured but fun activities that wear them out or keep them occupied, and I've always had a few ground rules if hosting at home.
You obviously need to expect a bit of mess, and just keep on top of things, as it's much harder you control once they've already got out of hand (or over excited).

My mum told me a few weeks ago that when my brother had parties she always insisted that it was 50/50 boys and girls - the girls apparently kept the boys a bit more focused and stopped it getting out of control.
You can make of that advice what you like. She said it worked but I haven't tried it as my oldest is only 2. :D

Sounds similar to my experiences! DS is 13 now and unfortunately they don't seem to change that much as they got older. I don't know if my DS' friends are unusually boisterous, or if this is the norm.

For this reason, all DS' parties have been at hired venues - I don't want my house trashed! They have always been physical - soft play, lazer tag, paintballing (when they got older). We had a football party at a local sports centre one year, which went down very well. Do the food at the very end and allow a very small window for it. Work out the more 'tricky' party guests and always have half an eye on them!

Oh yes - and definitely avoid fizzy drinks and cakes covered in blue icing shudders at the memories.

Well it sounds like they used up all their careful good behaviour focusing on the activity and then really needed a bit of a run around/ way to burn off their physical energy.

Children ( in my experience) have enormous amounts of energy and modern life is so restrictive for them - a lot of bad behaviour stems from the unnatural way we expect them to live - cooped up in school for hours, watching tv at home in the morning, really excited aout a party then expected to concentrate etc.

Im not excusing it as they need to learn manners too - but it is our job as adults to give them the space for proper play and free energetic running etc that they really need.

I've 2 adult sons now I'll try to remember the best and worst!

Worst was a sleepover for five 8 year old boys. One of them stabbed all the air mattresses with a pencil and made all the others cry.

At that age I always took refuge at the soft play centre and only invited about 8 kids.

When they were older we did some really fun ones like paintballing or bouncy castle in the garden with super soakers and a pinata (banned from the house with an ever present guard at the back door!)

Twas ever thus...

Our family still talk about the horror that was my brother's 8th birthday party and he'll be 60 next year!

Yes, they can be quite wild. DS had a laser tag party for his birthday, shared with a friend, and we had about 12 boys on the verge of going feral, but was just about kept it in check.

DS can still sometimes have meltdowns - I was mortified that I missed 2 phonecalls from a friend's mum asking me to collect him when he was going nuts at a party because he wanted to sit next to the birthday boy , and he was a little frantic at the last party I collected him from too (both were at the end of term when he was rather exhausted)

I think this is quite common IME - I've seen fights, injuries, tears, screaming. I always tried to encourage mine to have smaller parties - maybe taking 5 friends to an activity rather than a whole class party.

I entertained at children's parties and events for a while and, sadly, this is common. Boys' rude, obnoxious and downright destructive behaviour is indulged far more than girls - I lost count of the number of parents saying "boys will be boys" etc. Party parents didn't want to tell off other people's children, understandably. When the parents of the badly behaved children were in attendance they were either glued to their phones or smiling indulgently.

I don't remember this behaviour happening at mixed gender parties I went to as a child in the 90s. We knew we'd be immediately taken home and made to do something boring or have a privilege withdrawn. I do think, from teaching career as well, more parents these days seem very reluctant to discipline their children at all or teach them basic manners and respect. I've been at meeting where we've brought parents in to discuss behaviour and children actually did the thing we've been concerned about in the meeting (one 8 year old ripped an office door handle off in front of mum) and the parents have just shrugged and smiled. Some are more interested in being their child's friend than raising a decent, polite fully functioning member of society.

Some years ago DD2 had a rather large party in a village hall place it was bedlam!, however my then wife turned up as she was late arriving but it was amazing to see how she had them, around 30 or so, under complete control in a matter of seconds they were as quiet as church mice!.

What is that skill that teachers like her have:)??

This is normal, IME of two boys and the hideous class parties I've been to over the years. I now only accept a fraction of the invitations, because the feral behaviour and noise nearly finish me off. DS2 finds them overwhelming too. Individually, most of the kids are perfectly reasonable, but get them in a group and you'd think a separate circle of hell needs to be reserved for them.shudder

Depends on the kids and parents - it's not like that for my DS 8 year old parties with his close friends because parents get them to sit at the table, although they are noisy. But we have been to one or two where the people in charge let them go feral - it's boys or girls btw.

I'll second the poster who says that boys bad behaviour is more tolerated than the girls. I have experienced boys behaving appallingly and parents talking shite about how they need to run off the energy, boys will be boys and all that. Having a quieter boy, and a more energetic girl I call BS on that. They are both capable of running wild if allowed to, but if it's appropriate to sit and listen or eat or whatever they both can and do.

Hire a giant ball pit and let em jump in.

I recently held my Sons eighth party I was warned by one of the mums their behaviour at her sons party had been feral with food fights etc. I announced before they ate food I had each and every one of their mums on speed dial and wouldn’t hesitate to call their parents to pick them up if they didn’t behave in a fairly decent manor. Worked well

At the risk of being flamed, this is typical behaviour for primary age boys at parties...not so much girls.

Not going to flame you but the party that put me off all home parties was DD's 8th birthday. 8 girls I had entertained on play dates separately. I foolishly thought I could handle it on my own and merrily packed DH off with DS1 our of the way.
It was horrific, they were all so mean to each other and screechy! My ears were ringing after 5 minutes. Every activity started off fine but ended up with shrieking, chasing around and somebody crying. One of the spat coke all over another one and they completely trashed my sundae bar and chocolate fountain table while I was loading the dishwasher. My palms are sweating at the memory.

Grumpbum I’d heard from my son there’d been a few food fights at recent parties. The mum of the birthday child did warn them and whilst some tried they were quickly told to stop and did. But the parents of the children were all there and watching, surely they should have been stepping in and stopping their child. I might just talk ds out of a party and take his best friend out for the day instead I’m that put off.

My DH had a dozen 7-8yos quiet in rapt attention last year at DS's party. He took them stalking in the woods with a blowpipe and darts and told them that if they showed they could be controlled with that he would show them how to make a real rocket launcher. They popped balloons with the darts and each child had to be under control before he was allowed his turn. Apparently it all went very well, and according to other mothers the boys said it was the best party ever. DH was like some kind of real life Colin Furze (who I realise is actually a real person but my son thinks that he is so bonkers he can't be real!) 2 years before we had the stick party, where all activities were based around a stick. You decorated your stick with things found in the forest (that was an hour of them running round to burn energy off) then got to roast marshmallows over a fire they had lit themselves (under supervision.) Again, no children harmed in the process, and all so thrilled they were allowed to do this that they behaved. I know some kids still have their stick, decorated with coloured wool and feathers and whatever else they found lying around. Food at DS's party is minimal (hamburger or hot dog followed by biscuits and buns) so they don't have time to get rowdy with the food, and most important of all we never allow a child in the house for anything except to use the loo. And that's in the utility room. We make it clear they should dress for outdoors and will be outdoors no matter what the weather. They are boys, they don't melt!

And for DD, we've put up a tent in the garden for her, filled it with beanbags and cushions, and played a movie onto a big screen. Again, no kids inside. But girls are definitely calmer.

I have boy/girl twins. They'd always had joint parties and had always gone really well but wanted separate parties for their 10th birthday. Girls party went well, beautifully behaved. Boys party the following weekend was a bloody nightmare. We had a 'challenge party' as they were all obsessed with the you tube challenges and this mostly took place inthe garden. That all went well with plenty to do and prizes etc. But inside we served hotdogs and a chocolate fountain, three of the boys accepted hot dogs didn't touch them and stuffed them in their drink glasses then were squirted ketchip over each other. They were putting their hands in the chocolate fountain and smearing it over each other and the table and throwing marshmallows and bits of fruit at each other. Most of the boys just laughed which seemed to egg the three evil amigos on. I was livid. I couldn't believe 10 year olds couldn't behave like that in someone's home. At 10.

Last year when my son turned 11 he begged for another, I refused to have the worst offender back in the house and luckily it was a Nerf battle out in the garden. DH did a BBQ so they only came in touse the loo. They were a bit boisterious outside brilliantly behaved this year with the food etc.

ElsieMC Your bouncy castle story reminds of a friend who had a weekend student job collecting hired bouncy castle at the end of the day. He said the kids were no problem, maybe a few tears from the little ones, 'just one more go, just one' from the older ones but he said the worst part of the job were the bouncing pissed adults refusing to get off and thinking they were so hilarious.