AIBU to think of homeschooling my kids

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Hi,

I can recall the exact time life became difficult, when my eldest started school. Since then it seems that it's been nothing but downhill since then.
Just to say my brother and I moved country when we were 13 and 17. We did our O levels and A levels through a distance learning college. My brother is very successful, good salary, etc ect. I'm not. But I chose to give up my career (Which I could have pursued)for having children.
We returned to the UK, and even if we had better qualifications, in the uk , they would not have been recognised.
MY husband, coasted through school, dropped out of Uni, started in admin, and call centre work, then computers, and now is an IT contractor .Well paid.
My children don't have the best social at school (Not fitting in, low level bullying )
Can anyone tell me about their experiences of home schooling? Mine are head strong and difficult, would this be a problem, or would the freedom make them more amenable?

i home ed best thing we have ever done

boys are14 and 8

theres 2 ways

home education and home schooling

home education is unschooling learn through life,dont so any formal lessons books etc

home schooling is work books and lessons at a desk at home

join a home ed group on facebook(if your on it)

Well, how old are your children and how many do you have? When you say life is difficult, what does that mean?

I basically think homeschooling should be a positive choice - because you want to do it and believe it's the best thing for your children, not a negative one - because they're not enjoying school.

I work with young teens who are public school educated, state school educated and home tutored. The definable difference is that home tutored are less socialised and less able to cope with the real world. As an introvert autistic, I totally understand the feeling to home tutor. As a child, I would have loved it but would it have benefited me in the long term, I doubt it.

Really @tor8181 ? You home educate your children? You haven't used any punctuation in your comment..... which concerns me a little for your children's education tbh.

I believe in Home education / Home schooling if the parents have the ability to provide an education equal or greater than what they would have access to at school. However, if you are not particularly academic, then maybe your children should attend a normal school.

Mine are head strong and difficult, would this be a problem

Its more likely to be a problem in school, than home ed.

I couldn't personally.I have two exteemely different children, one with ASD.Both have blossomed by going to school/nursery and both have learned far more out of the home then they could have learned from me.

I always think home education should be a positive choice because you have an idea about how your children will be educated, not a negative response (E.g. they don't like school / it's more convenient for me / I don't have to deal with them being in a mood) .

I also think that (probably more controversially on MN) that morally people who are home educating should be able to provide an education to the same standard or higher than the children would have in school. I dont believe children should be disadvantaged educationally by their parent's decision to home educate.

As to whether you should or not, unless you have considered how you are going to ensure they have a good education then I would say no

“I basically think homeschooling should be a positive choice - because you want to do it and believe it's the best thing for your children, not a negative one - because they're not enjoying school.”

Totally disagree. I’d be hugely reluctant to take kids out of a school they’re enjoying because I don’t see how home can give them the same learning and social opportunities.

But if school was very negative for my kids - bullying, not learning, not coping - that’s precisely when I would consider home schooling.

I pulled my DD out of school in year 8, due to her being bullied rally badly.

She is like a different girl now, a year and a term into it.

I would not pull DS out though, because he would not leave the house if it wasn't for school.

I think every child is different and what is right for one, may not be right for another. Same with parents really.

If you think it is right for you and your DC, then go for it!

I've always wondered if home educators are expected to have a certain level of education or can anyone do it?

tor8181 Sentences start with a capital letter and end with a full stop, third line there 'are' two ways and in the last line, 'your' should be 'you're'.

It is a personal choice. It really works well for my family, only you will know if It will work for you. You could try checking out your local HE Facebook group and having a chat with some families on there and seeing what groups and activities are local.

@PickledChutney re your response to parents not teaching their children due to lacking high enough academic qualifications - I don't always use correct grammar but I have a research masters from Cambridge University and a whole host of other qualifications. I'm typing quickly from and iPhone ffs.

Although to be fair, I also have a teaching qualification.

@PickledChutney I was a bit harsh because I do actually agree with you! I do think that parents need a certain standard to be able to educate successfully. That doesn't even mean academics necessarily but the patience and also good questioning skills to facilitate learning.

We home educated for a few years, it was a very positive experience for all of us.

Our daughter started at school in reception and we pulled her out in yr 1. Son never went.

As it turns out she chose to return to school last year, and went back in yr 4. Some started shortly after in yr 2.

Our son never had a negative experience at school but the natural course was to keep him out as his sister was at home anyway. It was the making of her, she gradually went from being too uncertain to come out from behind our legs at a party, to helping out at the local stables on her own 2 days a week, 9 till 4. She is self assured, resilient and calm. When she started school she would use all her emotional resilience just to get through the day away from us and she just melted down at home.

We would have kept them out and gone all the way through secondary had it been necessary. And who knows what the future may hold but for now, they're happy. The 6 yr old still finds being parted from me and his baby brother hard, but he is getting there.

Done well, and for the right reasons, HE is great. Personally I couldn't and wouldn't go down the 'unschooling' route, while I'm sure it works well for some, I fear it can also be done very badly.

Likewise when I hear people say that they are thinking of HE to avoid the stress of the school run etc that makes me twitch a little. Whatever our protestations about socialisation being an unnecessary myth, in my opinion kids need to be exposed to lots of different experiences to find their niche. So as home educators we were out and about every day, between groups, classes, trips etc. It was fairly pricey, and quite a juggle. One that we were happy to do, of course, but in my experience a lot of home educators like to say that you don't have to do XYZ, it doesn't cost much etc. Obviously that can be true, technically, but it would be naïve to pretend it is the norm.

pyramidbutterflyfish
What I mean is that is that home education should be done if it is offering the best education for the child.

I'm not saying pull children out of a school they are happy and thriving in. I'm saying the decision should be based on educational reasons with clear consideration of the education a child will get. It should be a positive choice based on the principle that the child will be getting an education as good or better than school.

It shouldn't be a case of 'x isn't liking school and I've not really considered options or home education but I'll home educate them'. That sort of approach doesn't tend to lend itself to good home education. It tends to be people thinking they can do very little whilst claiming "learning happens everywhere".

I take my hat off to home educators who do it well. It's tough to do it well and some people on MN are brilliant and give sage advice in this area.

I don't believe people who are barely literate themselves, who plan to unschool because their children didn't like it etc are putting their children's education first, nor do I believe people with limited general knowledge or awareness of ideas who choose to home educate are best set up for doing a good job. It's all too easy for some parents to abdicate responsibility for their children's education by saying they will home educate when they haven't got a very good level of education themselves.

I would also respectfully disagree with an earlier poster about the apparent distinction between home education and home school. There is actually no difference bar terminology...the latter is a more Americanised term which the majority of home edders in the UK don't use just because it implies a replication of school. They both just refer to being educated somewhere other than a school.

Unschooling, or autonomous learning, is the 'process' of allowing children to learn only what they are interested in and taking the lead from there. Done well, it involves subtly observing the child to see where they are heading and preempting by finding resources, providing opportunities etc. Some would say that any guidance in particular directions would be non autonomous.

Some 'radically', or 'whole life' unschool. That basically means that parents place no boundaries on the children per se, so children determine their own bedtimes etc etc etc.

Some home edders do choose to replicate school at home.

The majority plod along somewhere in the middle, trying to capture their children's interests and make sure they learn basic skills while making/maintaining friendships and learning how to be a part of society.

I meant to add above that unschooling done badly is just doing nothing. Allowing non stop gaming etc, all under the justification of an educational philosophy.

Neverunderfed
Yes I posted on another post about my children wanting to play games all the the time. This is irrelevant, I'm not saying can I replace school with screen time???

You'll get more responses from people who have home educated if you post on the home ed board.

I have a first class degree and PhD from Oxford and would be very well qualified to teach a few subjects related to my degree. I would probably be able to educate myself sufficiently in a few others to do a good job in those too. However there would certainly be areas in which I'd be woefully inadequate to provide a decent education. I also think it would be difficult to expose your DC to the range of opinions, personalities, demographics etc that they will encounter when they leave education. If I home educated I'd probably end up in a network of people fairly similar to me which might limit my child's exposure to the world.

Oh, I hadn't made the connection between the two threads.

What seems more likely to me, OP, is that because your children have to sit down and concentrate for lessons at school, they need more time to run around and be active outside of school. So if you home school them, that could work really well, because you can generally do the lessons more quickly. BUT you'd need to give them the extra time in active and outdoor play, I think, in order to see a real improvement in happiness and behaviour. I don't think it would result in children suddenly wanting to sit down and read all afternoon.

Also, to all the people querying whether parents are sufficiently well-educated to teach, generally homeschoolers use a curriculum, textbooks and other resources designed for non-trained teachers to deliver. Part of the deal is learning to research things together with your children, rather than being the expert in the room on everything.

Children's unhappiness at school strikes me as an excellent reason to try home education. They deserve to be happy. Unless you have a strong feeling that school offers them some huge benefit which compensates for their unhappiness there, surely it is worth trying the alternative.

If you disliked your job, you'd look for a different one, wouldn't you?

Try home education for a year. If it doesn't seem right, your children could return to school. Then you, and they, would know you had tried what you could and that school really is what they need. If you don't try it, you'll always wonder whether you could have made things better for them.

I home ed all three of my children. It's great, there's no stress in the mornings as we all have lie ins. The children choose their own topics and complete folders showing what they have learnt. They help run the household and meal plan with me, each choosing a day to cook tea. We visit lots of different places and meet new people. Holidays are much cheaper too