AIBU to think of homeschooling my kids

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Hi,

I can recall the exact time life became difficult, when my eldest started school. Since then it seems that it's been nothing but downhill since then.
Just to say my brother and I moved country when we were 13 and 17. We did our O levels and A levels through a distance learning college. My brother is very successful, good salary, etc ect. I'm not. But I chose to give up my career (Which I could have pursued)for having children.
We returned to the UK, and even if we had better qualifications, in the uk , they would not have been recognised.
MY husband, coasted through school, dropped out of Uni, started in admin, and call centre work, then computers, and now is an IT contractor .Well paid.
My children don't have the best social at school (Not fitting in, low level bullying )
Can anyone tell me about their experiences of home schooling? Mine are head strong and difficult, would this be a problem, or would the freedom make them more amenable?

This is very interesting. I’ve never been tempted to home school/educate. My dc have always thrived at school.
I have 2 degrees , DH has 3, I think we’re both quite intelligent but it has become apparent that all of our kids can run rings round us intellectually in certain subjects.
I’m delighted!
For them, school has been more than a place to learn what’s necessary to pass exams.

I genuinely hadn't seen your other thread, honestly. I don't tend to advanced search.

bridgetreilly
That's almost the 'just Google it' philosophy.
I've read things online when looking for resources that are wrong. If as a parent I haven't got a certain level of education and critical literacy myself then how can I possibly educate?

I don't think to home ed someone needs lots of qualifications, but I do think they need to be reasonably intelligent in a well rounded way.
If someone's basic numeracy is that of a 9 year old, how can they explain what's in workbooks beyond repeating the instructions? If they can't write in standard English, how can they guide their child towards it?

What do you do though when they get older and need basic qualifications to get even the most low level job?

I follow someone on Instagram who does unschooling and it looks like she trails her kids to the gym with her. They do look like happy kids though.

I’m curious too. How do home educated children gain GCSE’s or other qualifications?

Things they need for a job or uni course?

ShaggyRug, home educated kids usually sit IGCSEs as private candidates. They learn the material on their own or with parents or tutors or distance learning programmes and then sit the exam. Most HE teens then go on to college. However, there is a huge amount of flexibility to do alternative qualifications or follow other routes into education or employment, and young people follow many different paths.

For those wondering how children can achieve a good standard of education if their parents aren't highly qualified in all subjects, the answer is that most HE families follow a different model of education to that used at school. Kids don't learn solely from their parents, often not even primarily from their parents, instead using a range of resources to learn. Parents see their role as facilitators.

For this reason, kids aren't limited by their parents' knowledge. I remember one young woman who was a good friend of my daughter. She lived alone with her mum. The mum, who had been deaf as a child, has a speech impairment, is severely dyslexic and struggles to organise her thoughts and communicate effectively either verbally or in writing. This is such a problem for her that though I knew her well, I often couldn't even get the general gist of what she was trying to express. She also has difficulty interpreting social cues, which causes further misunderstanding. When I first met the daughter, she was eleven and was reading a huge novel. I would say that her speech, reading, writing, were average for her age and she was very socially aware. Some years later, I gave her a bit of advice on a CV and a letter she was writing to apply for a job. Again, her writing skills were perfectly adequate. She was a very confident and articulate teen. She had been brought up in contact with a range of people and with access to the internet and a range of books, not shut up in a room with her mum as her sole source of knowledge. This is not an unusual scenario; it is usual to find home educated kids whose skills exceed those of their parents in some areas.

My own teen's main interests are in subjects about which I know little. I helped her make contact with other people who do know about those subjects, either within the home ed community or elsewhere. We looked for books together. She did courses and experimented on her own.

Many years ago I worked in the admissions office of a university abroad. We positively welcomed home educated candidates, as we found that they already knew how to find resources for themselves and structure their own time. They were accustomed to the style of learning they would need at university. By and large, new entrants who had been educated at school needed about a year to get to grips with a new way of doing things, whereas those who had been home educated hit the ground running.

Thanks for the info. The only HE child I know at present is very resistant to education and lacks motivation or interest. I worry that it’s not the right choice for them.

IME with home educated kids, "resistant to education" probably means the child had a tough time at school and hasn't yet got used to the idea that education doesn't have to be like that. Sometimes parents who are new to home education think they have to make it look like school by sitting kids down and using workbooks. That approach does work for some kids, but for many it isn't effective and a different approach is better.

If you're acquainted with the family you mention, it would be worth telling them that there are many other home educators around. Once they get in touch with other families, they will soon realise that there are all sorts of ways to tackle education. Facebook is the best way to find local home educators.

I have never met a child who is truly resistant to education. I do know kids who hate school-style learning. I know others who think they hate learning, but what they really hate is people trying to force them to learn in a way which doesn't suit them. Certainly this can happen through home education, but most parents eventually find out that there are other methods they can try.

I think it can be a positive thing for some, and you will mostly get positive opinions on here. I always regarded it as a fairly harmless, if slightly bohemian option. Unfortunately since working in a secondary school I have come across so many cases of children being electively home educated who really shouldn't be and this has probably skewed my opinion somewhat. You know your children best but if you have any issues with the school I would strongly urge you to try to resolve these first. I think it's fairly rare for older children to really love going to school, unfortunately, but 'opting out' just because you don't like being told what to do is probably not a great habit to get into for the rest of your life.

For all the posters who say that the parents must have qualifications themselves in order to home educate:

We home educated our kids until the age of 14. Removed from primary school when 6 and 8 due to bullying and crap teachers. We autonomously educated for 6 years. My Dh and I left school with no qualifications. However we are both intelligent people who have run our own business for 25 years and have also worked in responsible, professional jobs prior to setting up our own business.

We never sat down and 'taught' from a textbook although they were made available to both DC along with lots of online stuff.

We went out a lot, we travelled a lot. We talked to them all the time and made available any learning resources they needed. They both freely read lots of books. They also spent a fair amount of time gaming and on Minecraft.

At 14 they joined a small school (their own choice) and were very soon top of their class in most subjects. Eldest passed all his GCSEs (most of his peers failed maths and English having been at school since they were 5). He is now predicted As in 4 A levels.

Youngest DC is showing every sign of passing his GCSEs having passed all his mocks comfortably.

Neither of them had ever taken an exam before and definitely didn't do SATs!!

Just to show that you don't have to 'teach' your child when home edding, at least not in a school type way. I'd like to think they've enjoyed their childhood without the massive restrictions of school life. Oh and they both have friends and are sociable and polite.

I think it's fairly rare for older children to really love going to school, unfortunately, but 'opting out' just because you don't like being told what to do is probably not a great habit to get into for the rest of your life.

True. However, some children's dislike of school runs considerably deeper than just "not really loving" school. For some, the unhappiness associated with school attendance dominates their lives, keeping them in a constant state of anxiety. Even just what might be called "low-level stress" is hard to take. I think people who choose careers working in schools often don't recognise this: they themselves have perhaps gravitated toward the school environment because it's a good fit for their own personality. People with a different nature find such an environment hard to take. Some kids can't bear noise or crowds, for example. No amount of practice will change that.

And at school, the extent to which young people are "being told what to do" far exceeds what you'd find in just about any adult environment. I think that learning how to make their own decisions is a better preparation for adult life than being told what to do on a minute-by-minute basis. I have worked in some very regimented jobs, but none in which my behaviour was so closely dictated as it was at school.

ILoveMyCaravan
There's a difference between having qualifications and being educated.

I don't believe uneducated people should home school because I don't believe they know enough about learning or the world in general to either educate the children themselves or be able to see what a broad education looks like.

As someone at university said to me 'in most areas of life (topical discussions/ university /opinions/work) stupid doesn't know stupid'.

E.g. If I were to home educate then i know if be able to offer a number of things, but not STEM engagement to a decent enough degree. But it takes a certain amount of education to be able to reflect and see that STEM is important and just because I'm not good at it and aren't interested in it doesn't mean children shouldn't be exposed to it and have the opportunity to learn about it.
If in was uneducated then I'd be more likely to view the world through limited educational experience, conclude I did just fine without knowing... I never needed quadratic equations... When will thry ever need to read... and not bother to provide education and opportunities in those areas, which does the children a disservice as their educational opportunities are being limited by probably well meaning parents who haven't got the capacity to ensure a good education takes place.

We home educated our dd for 3 years of Primary as at that time a schooled education wasn't what she wanted.
It was the best thing to do at the time and we would have done it again had school not have been the best fit for her.
There are lots of reasons people choose to h.ed and as long as it's best for the child has nothing to do with anyone else unless they suspect abuse or neglect.

Maisypops
But I am 'uneducated' and so is my DH to a large extent. We both missed a LOT of school for various reasons. However we both have a lot of common sense and are quick to pick things up. So I disagree that a parent has to be educated themselves in order to home ed their children. For us it's more about drive and determination.

We've had to be very self reliant which I hope is something we've passed on to our DC, rather than them being spoon fed what to learn at school. Much like us, if they want to know or learn about something then they go and find out about it.

ILoveMyCaravan while I couldn’t be more in favour of giving our kids common sense, drive, determination and self reliance I really don’t think you can deny the benefits of a solid academic education.
Our kids have all of the above but the solid academic bit was mainly achieved by attending school.
The drive and determination they have means so far we have 2 doctors, a published author and the youngest (doing exams) is aiming to be a vet.
None of this could have been achieved without their wonderful teachers

We HE our DC. It's got its advantages, and disadvantages too. The main advantages are the freedom it gives us to do day trips & spend more time together, but especially for the DC to be able to learn about what interests them, when it's interesting to them. They're so full of questions I'd pity their teachers if they went to school! My DC go to lots of classes & groups & have a wide variety of people of all ages to socialise with. They have lots of opportunities to learn all sorts of things which we wouldn't have so much time for if they were in school.

The disadvantages are mostly mine. I get basically zero time to myself. I can't pop round to a friend's for a catch up without it being a family outing. I struggle to find time to do anything beyond the bare minimum amount of housework I can get away with. Even that's a struggle some days & DH & I often stay up late trying to keep on top of the dishes, etc. I'm an introvert so I really struggle with needing time to be alone.

It's really hard & there's often a fear that I'm ruining my DCs' future but I'm convinced that DC1 would have his thirst for knowledge knocked out of him if he had to learn what the curriculum said was the thing he should know at his age, & DC2 would just get lost in the classroom without someone there to give individual attention & encouragement. It's totally the right thing for our family & I'm clinging to the hope that it'll get a little less pressure for me once they're a bit older/can all read competently.

My youngest is mixed-schooled due to sporting commitments. She is homeschooled for mathmatics and sciences and goes to school for English, humanities and arts. It's actually proved to be a fantastic structure because she gets the best of both worlds. So she goes to school one full day a week, goes for half days three days a week and then has one day off a week. This allows her to join in on school events and clubs, have lunch with her friends if she wants, go to camps, take tests and exams as needed etc but also allows us to take charge of her education in areas where we feel like we can provide it better and also give her enough time to seriously train in her sport. Absoloutely feel like it's a better balance of her time.

Lovingbenidorm
I hear what you're saying but my point is that my kids have learned a lot academically just not in a school environment and despite their parents own lack of formal education.

A big pitfall is the expense. If you take them out of the school system voluntarily you will get no financial help. If you want them to sit standard qualifications that employers recognise instantly then you have to pay for them to sit as an external candidate at a centre, which is very expensive.

To the people saying that someone who home eds should be using perfect grammar/punctuation

I know a woman who was a primary school teacher then went on to be a private tutor. If you looked at her social media you wouldn’t know it at all - she uses ‘ur’ and ‘2’ and ‘thx’ and ‘y?’ etc, no punctuation, erratic capitals. Doesn’t mean she can’t do it properly.

That should say ‘should be using perfect grammar/punctuation ON HERE’, of course they should be whilst teaching their child.

How do you teach GCSE science at home? I'm genuinely curious as it's the one thing that puts me off.

The main advantages are ..... especially for the DC to be able to learn about what interests them, when it's interesting to them

But sometimes there are things you need to learn whether you're interested in them or not. Sometimes you have to work through the uninteresting bits to get to interesting bits.

A dancer or musician who didn't want to do the boring repetitive exercises because they aren't interesting would never be able to dance or play to a good standard. You can apply the same principle to many areas of learning.

Struggling
mine wasn't interested in science at all, although she has to do it at school now
There are groups or can study online, even if the parent can't do it themselves, they learn with their child if they want to.
It's great learning about things that might not have been on the curriculum when you were a child.
It really isn't difficult when you have all the time in the world to concentrate on your child's education.