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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tip off the police or not?

54 replies

anonymoustipoff · 13/01/2019 18:39

Hi all, name changed for this thread but have been around on Mumsnet for years and years. More of a lurker but a sporadic poster also. Generally spend time on the weight forums and chat. Ok here goes...

So I am a member of a local group . I have been helping out a lady who has a teenage dd. Just being someone to talk to a shoulder to lean on. Dh and I did take her and her dd into our home for a couple of months during a rocky patch in her marriage.
Her Dh is a long term recovering addict. Things were really bad way back when but he managed to turn himself around and built up a business for himself, something be is very proud of. Last year he had a blip and started using (illegal obtaining prescription drugs) again, almost lost the business and if it wasn't for his family and the support of friends he would have lost everything. He went to rehab for a bit and was supposed to be in for a period of time. He is very good at talking the talk and much to everyone's dismay he was let out early. Well fast forward to now and he is using again.
My issue is that he uses whilst working and his job entails him driving heavy vehicles all day everyday. His wife was in contact saying that he had an accident whilst under the influence and damaged some other cars. Police were involved but he apparently managed to talk his way out of it. I have no idea how, but he definitely has the gift of the gab.
His employee who was out with him that day has subsequently quit and he is now advertising a vacancy.
I am wanting to tip off the police with the information I have. But if I do and he gets caught out I am worried about the consequences this will have on his wife and child. If he loses his license he loses the business. Worse if he goes to prison then he leaves a wife who can't work due to ill health and a daughter who will probably end up caring for her mother to some extent. She is more adult then her mum. Of course I can put support in place but it won't be the same will it.
My heart is telling me to contact the police. If he has another accident and ends up killing someone then I will feel that it is partly my fault. Dh is reluctant as he says if I do tip off then I will have to face the inevitable questions from the family (although other people do know so I wouldn't be the only suspect). I still feel I should do it. Please help me.

OP posts:
rytonsister · 13/01/2019 18:42

I would say tip them off - nothing can be done without evidence but the intel could be useful and they could do a drug drive stop without implicating you.

hazell42 · 13/01/2019 18:43

It would be hearsay and they could do nothing. However if he gets behind the wheel of a car in the future and you know he is under the influence, call the police. Then they can stop him and test him. They cant do anything retrospectively on your say so

SmurfOnThis · 13/01/2019 18:50

At worst he could kill someone if he's driving, so yes report.

OffToBedhampton · 13/01/2019 18:56

If he wasn't tested at the time of Road traffic accident (RTA) for drugs or alcohol, it is just hearsay after the fact.

So, your issue is now that he is believed to be under influence when driving and wanting to protect future road drivers or pedestrians. How do you report that? I guess you talk to 101, or write to DVLA, anonymously.

Travisandthemonkey · 13/01/2019 19:00

Sounds like total heresay.
Do you really honestly believe that people can talk their way out of drug or alcohol tests with the police.

Tronkmanton · 13/01/2019 19:12

Is he a lorry driver? If so you can report him anonymously to DVSA (HGV enforcement team) on 0300 123 9000. They’re open 7.30am to 6pm Mon to Fri. They will be able to trace his vehicle and stop him ‘randomly’ if they wish. He’d be unlikely to suspect you as HGVs are stopped routinely anyway. If he has an employer then please tip them off too- ask to speak to the transport manager.

Original poster
anonymoustipoff · 13/01/2019 19:16

I actually don't think people can talk their way out of it. But I have reason to absolutely believe he is driving under the influence. Events have been confirmed by both his wife and his family and they are a very close knit and honest family. So yes whilst it is hearsay I believe it to be true and yes my wish is to protect what could happen in the future. I know nothing could be done retrospectively but thought if they had a number plate and name then maybe something could be put on the system should anything else happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
anonymoustipoff · 13/01/2019 19:17

No not a lorry driver unfortunately and he is the boss.

OP posts:
freshfoodpeople · 14/01/2019 06:58

I would definitely call the police.

When he inevitability kills someone that is going to have a far more reaching affect on the innocent victims and his family than anything else.

Perhaps he should've been able to hit rock bottom previously instead of everyone rallying around. This could've worked out better long term for his wife and daughter as they could've made a new life for themselves and sought out the support they needed from relevant agencies to move forward.

Viewofsaturday · 14/01/2019 07:03

You should report him. It could be any of us driving in front of him with our kids in the back. It doesn't make you responsible if he loses his income. He is responsible for that. Thousands of people grapple and face their addictions. It's difficult, but he's not trying it is he? He's walked away from help.

ConfessionalProfessional · 14/01/2019 07:05

You need to call the police for yourself, not just because it is the right thing to do.

If they test him and he goes to prison, it was his fault not yours. And if he hurts someone it was his fault not yours. By telling he police you remove yourself from having to worrry about it - it is their problem.

CallMeSirShotsFired · 14/01/2019 07:18

If they test him and he goes to prison, it was his fault not yours. And if he hurts someone it was his fault not yours. By telling he police you remove yourself from having to worrry about it - it is their problem.

This. By reporting a suspicion (that could easily kill an innocent person), you aren't personally setting up a hit squad for him. It is the Police's decision to act - or not - on the information received. Your responsibility is to provide information you have that could prevent a crime. What happens thereafter is not.

Batteriesallgone · 14/01/2019 07:23

If you know he regularly drives while using - is there a pattern? Like taking drugs on a Friday to help him ‘get through to the weekend’ or on a Monday to ‘wake him up’ etc etc.

If so, wait until a day you are pretty confident he would be using, then phone the police with his name and reg and say you believe this person is driving under the influence. They may be able to do a stop that day.

Just phoning them up and saying he regularly drives under the influence is, as others have said, heresay and there isn’t much they can do with it.

Wotev · 14/01/2019 07:27

Police won't/can't do anything. Whatever he's using they probably don't have tests for anyway.

gokartdillydilly · 14/01/2019 07:27

You can also report online, anonymously, so you need not be implicated in that way. Deffo worth reporting as like you say, if anything dreadful happened you would feel (even though you're not) partially responsible. Go for it OP x

HoraceCope · 14/01/2019 07:30

no i wouldnt, imagine the guilt you would feel, the police were involved at the time

Letsmoveondude · 14/01/2019 07:32

I would also be one to call the police.

CallMeSirShotsFired · 14/01/2019 07:33

Horace imagine the guilt if he kills someone whilst under the influence!

Letsmoveondude · 14/01/2019 07:34

The guilt you’ll feel at him losing his licence is less than you’ll feel if he kills himself or someone else.

Wotev · 14/01/2019 07:35

This is a typical 'log it with 101' thread.
You can't!
The police won't go round there, tell him, we've a report you're taking X drug, so we're commandeering your licence.
Yis are all in cloud cuckoo land.

CountessVonBoobs · 14/01/2019 07:37

no i wouldnt, imagine the guilt you would feel

Why would OP feel any guilt? I wouldn't. Anyou consequences he was facing would be completely due to his own actions and I'd have protected other road users and, ultimately, done the right thing for his family as well.

Comenext · 14/01/2019 07:49

Letsmoveondude has the right idea.
How will you feel OP when he injures someone while under the influence of drugs?

NoKnownFather · 14/01/2019 07:51

OP while I understand you being hesitant to lodge a report, but how would you feel if he crashed his truck into your car and a member of your family was killed or severely injured as a result?

He's not considering his family or other road users in any way!

wowfudge · 14/01/2019 07:52

The OP can call Crimestoppers anonymously. Wotev your post is as much rubbish as some of the others.

Wotev · 14/01/2019 07:56

Wowfudge. What do you think Crimestoppers are going to do exactly?

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