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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tip off the police or not?

54 replies

anonymoustipoff · 13/01/2019 18:39

Hi all, name changed for this thread but have been around on Mumsnet for years and years. More of a lurker but a sporadic poster also. Generally spend time on the weight forums and chat. Ok here goes...

So I am a member of a local group . I have been helping out a lady who has a teenage dd. Just being someone to talk to a shoulder to lean on. Dh and I did take her and her dd into our home for a couple of months during a rocky patch in her marriage.
Her Dh is a long term recovering addict. Things were really bad way back when but he managed to turn himself around and built up a business for himself, something be is very proud of. Last year he had a blip and started using (illegal obtaining prescription drugs) again, almost lost the business and if it wasn't for his family and the support of friends he would have lost everything. He went to rehab for a bit and was supposed to be in for a period of time. He is very good at talking the talk and much to everyone's dismay he was let out early. Well fast forward to now and he is using again.
My issue is that he uses whilst working and his job entails him driving heavy vehicles all day everyday. His wife was in contact saying that he had an accident whilst under the influence and damaged some other cars. Police were involved but he apparently managed to talk his way out of it. I have no idea how, but he definitely has the gift of the gab.
His employee who was out with him that day has subsequently quit and he is now advertising a vacancy.
I am wanting to tip off the police with the information I have. But if I do and he gets caught out I am worried about the consequences this will have on his wife and child. If he loses his license he loses the business. Worse if he goes to prison then he leaves a wife who can't work due to ill health and a daughter who will probably end up caring for her mother to some extent. She is more adult then her mum. Of course I can put support in place but it won't be the same will it.
My heart is telling me to contact the police. If he has another accident and ends up killing someone then I will feel that it is partly my fault. Dh is reluctant as he says if I do tip off then I will have to face the inevitable questions from the family (although other people do know so I wouldn't be the only suspect). I still feel I should do it. Please help me.

OP posts:

wowfudge · 14/01/2019 08:00

What they say they do on their website here

paintinmyhairAgain · 14/01/2019 08:01

i would report to crime stoppers def. because at least there is a record of it, and that information can be used if the police want to follow it up.

Wotev · 14/01/2019 08:04

Oh the stupidity. They can't do anything about some spurious nefarious tip-off that a guy who drives for a living is 'doing drugs from t'internet'.
Grow up.

Finfintytint · 14/01/2019 08:05

Wotev, police react to crimestoppers intelligence regularly.

Wotev · 14/01/2019 08:05

About the only way you'd get him is to report his address to customs or something so they can search his illegal drug imports.

Wotev · 14/01/2019 08:06

What are the police going to do?????????????

Wotev · 14/01/2019 08:06

What are these illegal drugs incidentally?

BIWI · 14/01/2019 08:12

You say his job entails him driving heavy vehicles all day but then say he's not a lorry driver.

So what is he driving, and how is this putting other members of the public at risk?

If you have reason to absolutely believe he is driving under the influence then yes, you should go to the police with that evidence.

BIWI · 14/01/2019 08:12

... if this is true, of course ...

wowfudge · 14/01/2019 08:13

Okay Wotev - let's look at this a bit differently: if you had heard someone was using and driving under the influence of illegal drugs (whatever class - they do impair reactions, that's why it's an offence) and they subsequently injured or killed someone in a traffic accident, how would you feel that you hadn't said something? I know that I would wish I had told someone who could potentially act on the information.

zod1ac19 · 14/01/2019 08:13

Wotev you are talking bollocks and should know it.

Police do do ‘random’ stops on vehicles they have been tipped off on. Many arrests are made after action taken due to intel which in itself is not admissible in court but leads to a general picture of a person or situation.

Pice have tests for loads of different drugs now too.

OP report, you could save someone’s life.

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2019 08:19

If you're part of a support group, surely this kind of scenario has been discussed? With any professional or charity working with troubled people or families, they are obliged to act on any information they become aware of that may put the client or others in danger. That's standard practice. In this case, I would report your concerns to the police, which can be done anonymously if you wish. However, what you should also do is tell the family that you are supporting that you have this information about him using again, and should you become aware of him driving whilst under the influence you will have no choice but to report him.
Anything less is a dereliction of duty, and makes you complicit. If he goes out driving under the influence and kills someone, it would be on your conscience if you haven't done anything to address this.

Magicpaintbrush · 14/01/2019 08:22

Is he driving a coach with passengers?

paintinmyhairAgain · 14/01/2019 09:11

i seriously think wotev needs to calm down,why keep responding on a thread that is obviously winding you up so much ? i'm confused.

paintinmyhairAgain · 14/01/2019 09:13

i'd be interested to know what op's take on this is now given such a strong 'do something about it' response.

HoraceCope · 14/01/2019 09:16

He takes illegally obtained prescription drugs

if he loses this business his wife will need support yet again.

paintinmyhairAgain · 14/01/2019 09:19

horace his monkeys though, he chooses to take the drugs no one is forcing them down his throat.

HoraceCope · 14/01/2019 09:35

but if they are prescription drugs what can police do?
say they are co-codamol for example, who would test for that?

paintinmyhairAgain · 14/01/2019 09:41

if it was opiate based that would register.

MatildaTheCat · 14/01/2019 09:42

It’s not necessarily illegal to drive whilst taking opiates. It’s a bit muddy because if you do have an accident when taking these drugs (and admit to it) you could still maintain that you believed yourself to be safe when you drove. Yes, the drugs should be properly prescribed but maybe he has a cover for that? There are plenty of doctors willing to prescribe anything for a fee.

And unless he’s fraudulently obtaining the drugs he might not be acting illegally. Buying dodgy drugs on the internet isn’t likely to interest the police.

PinkFizzz · 14/01/2019 09:43

Tip them off - if you do, he'll lose his license before he has a chance to really hurt someone, not after.

Aworldofmyown · 14/01/2019 09:46

Report it to the police. Then you've done all you can.

Imagine if another family lost someone in an accident he caused?
The consequences are no ones else's fault but his.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 14/01/2019 09:48

Not big on reporting but in this case , yea, report away OP

SoapandGory · 14/01/2019 09:56

Never understand the people on these threads who say 'the police won't do anything anyway'.

So? Report it, do your part and then leave the police to either act or not. What the police do/don't do with information they are given is up to them. It isn't your responsibility once they have been informed.

There is absolutely no harm in reporting it if the police really will do nothing. At least it's off your consience.

I guarantee you will feel worse not reporting it if he ended up injuring someone or worse, killing them than just reporting it and leaving the police to act/not act.

Buster72 · 14/01/2019 09:58

The police will not respond actively to a single thread of intelligence from crimestoppers.
Drug driving is so far down the list of priorities t
And there is no power to seize a licence on the basis of " we think you take drugs"
The only way to stop this is:- he wakes up and gets help.
Or
He gets stopped and arrested for sec4 road traffic act. It won't be a roadside test but an assessment by a doctor that he was impaired by these drugs he takes.

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