To ask for your cluster feeding survival stories?

[PickettBowtruckles]

Not really an AIBU but I’ve a 8 day old little girl who for the past 48 hours has refused to be anywhere except attached to my boob. She’s obviously only still tiny and the first few days at home we worked on getting her to sleep in her crib or Moses basket as she only wanted to be on me or DH. This started working and we had a few 3 hour naps in the crib which was amazing. However two days ago she won’t be anywhere except me. She falls asleep on the boob but if I try to remove her she screams and the cycle starts again, back on the boob until she sleeps, and if I dare move it’s game over.

It doesn’t help that I had a big bleed post delivery so was told my milk could take a while to come in, she’d lost 10% weight loss by day 3 so we had to start formula top ups. By day 5 she’d regained enough to only be at 4% weight loss and advised to stop the top ups again. I’ve reduced the top ups to only at night but I’m scared to give them up entirely as I just still don’t think I have enough milk. She seems so hungry all the time and I feel awful that I just can’t keep her full and happy. DH is desperate to help and previously we’d had a good routine of I’d feed and then pass her to him for winding and cuddles but she just won’t let us, he’s feeling useless and so I feel bad for him too!

Last night I was talking about giving up breastfeeding, I absolutely love it and so badly want to be able to continue for my little one but just feel on my knees and not sure how I’m gonna cope without anymore sleep or how she’s going to feel content. Please someone tell me this gets better?

This does sound normal and It will get better. This is very very early days. She’s trying to get your supply up. A tip I’ve heard from experienced lacto consultant is to try not to fight this stage, forget about routine and do ‘topless telly time’. Is your dh still on leave? Spend all day on the sofa with your baby on your chest, let her feed as much as possible, get dh to bring you food and drink and get a good box set on the go. Has she been checked for tounge tie? As for sleep can your dh take her out in her pram or the car to settle her off and let you have a couple of hours? It sounds like she’s getting plenty of milk if she’s regained weight but the only way to tell is if she’s producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies. I know it’s really really hard to but try not to panic about what she’s getting, just monitor nappies and reduce the formula feeds, but it’s also fine if your prefer to mix feed, she will still benefit from any breastmilk you give her.

Yup. Box set, boobs out, just go with it. Or have you tried feeding lying down yet? That way once she is latched you can just lie there and doze.

When you need a break your DH can put baby in pram or sling and take them for a 2 hour walk.

DH is still on leave thankfully but I don’t think he could take her out in the pram as she’d just scream. We walked to the corner shop this afternoon (5 mins each way) and she screamed the entire journey until we were back and she was on the boob again.

She is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies but not sure if this is only due to the formula top ups? She’ll tend to feed on me for anything 5-20 mins, falls asleep on the boob but wakes within half an hour to start again. I feel awful for how badly it’s affecting me and we’re only day 8! We managed an hour and a half nap earlier with her on my chest and dh awake next to us to keep an eye but that’s the longest all day she’s slept :(

It’s quite normal and is increasing your supply. Please don’t worry about finding a routine yet. It won’t happen for a while. You dh should be looking after you during this period (which isn’t easy!!) but basically you should be chilling with her and he should bring you food and drinks! Also maybe try a sling or carrier, some you can even feed in, so you can get up and get a few things done. And dh can carry her in there too, she may prefer it to the pram.

She will almost certainly conk out eventually in the pram. 5 minutes just isn't long enough. A sling may be better though, they are magic sleep inducers for 99% of babies. Her feeding pattern sounds very normal and if she was sleeping longer stretches before she will again when this growth spurt is over.

I watched the entire 6 series of the fresh prince of bel air through the nights when I was cluster feeding. After around 6 weeks it should all ease off a bit and milk supply will be established. The only way I could work it was to just give in and accept it. I repeated to myself she will sleep eventually. She will sleep eventually lol

I'm a first time mum to a 4 week old, I don't have any other advice to add than the fabulous ladies have already given but just wanted to say I have found things with my baby change daily, things that seem hard work one day won't matter the next, before you know it she will settle into more of a pattern with feeding. You are doing amazing and it sounds like you have a fab DH looking after you as well. if I could bring you these in person I would!

It’s hell st the time but now I look back longingly.
I suggest a bar of dairy milk, line of duty box set and unless you have other children don’t give a damn about anything else, ie. clean house

I had a big postpartum haemorrhage and it took my milk a while to come in too. We supplemented with formula for a short while and our baby was also incredibly unhappy unless he was being fed or asleep on me. He also lost almost 10% of his bodyweight so I really appreciate your position.

I can remember deciding not to expect too much of myself. I read many books and watched lots of boxsets while he was cluster feeding and establishing a good supply. I can remember my mum who had never breastfed telling me he couldn't be getting enough if he was feeding so often. So I took him to be weighed. In his second week he but on a pound, third week he put on a pound and a half and the following week another pound. He was attached to me for large proportion of the day 🙈

My words of advice
Eat well - in the absence of sleep you need food for energy!
Drink lots
Make the sofa comfy
Never be without your phone or tv remote
Don't make too many plans
Sleep when your baby sleeps if they let you put them down
Accept help whenever you can
My son loved his sling, definitely try this when you feel up to it. Helped me get out and about and allowed me to do so much more around the house.

Have faith in yourself - you've got this!!

Just change to bottle feeding. You'll feel much better, as will she, and you'll actually manage some rest. Lack of sleep is horrendous and it seems impossible to keep doing what you're doing. It's only been 8 days and you're knackered. Move to formula for your own sanity!! They've created formula milk over decades and as far as I'm concerned it will give your baby everything she needs and solve your problems. Don't buy into the emotional blackmail from people about breastfeeding. I have a 3 month old who I combi fed for 3 weeks and then went just to formula and it was the best decision for both of us and my DP. Good luck OP.

Thank you for your words of advice ladies, much appreciated.

@Onwardsagain I’m sorry to hear you had a similar experience but it’s really reassuring to hear from you that it worked out in the end! Can I ask how long did it take for your milk to come in? I woke this morning soggy so had clearly leaked in the night but barely getting anything when I pump still and don’t have the typical ‘rock hard’ full feeling. Also how did you manage reducing the formula top ups? Everything I read about cluster feeding says supplementing with the formula will not help my milk supply and I should just power through but I’m so worried that if I take it away she’ll not be getting enough.

Echoing the PPs saying power through if you want to continue bf. She's upping your supply and it is temporary but so so tough. I got through endless series of criminal minds sleeping on the sofa with DD in the sleepyhead when she would be put down.

No one would judge you for stopping or for combination feeding if that's right for you.

It really is so hard. But totally normal. They feed constantly to boost your supply. With DD2 I managed to work out how to feed in the caboo which enabled me to get up and make food/see to DD1 etc. She also slept well in it and the longer stretches of sleep helped her sleep more if that makes sense.

As far as having enough milk goes - if she's having plenty of wet and dirty nappies she's getting plenty. Also everyone's body is different - I've fed DD2 for 8 months now and have never leaked/felt full or been able to pump more than a few mls. But she's thriving.

Well done, you’re doing really well. Everything you’ve said is completely normal, I used to just sit on the sofa and let baby nurse away, like pp have said I think you’ve gotta to just give in. It isn’t like this forever. If you want to give up formula top ups then at 8 days old I would just go cold turkey and let the baby have unlimited access to the breast and your boobs will catch up. If you keep topping up your boobs won’t get the message to make more milk and you’ll have to always top up/combi feed
Don’t worry about your baby not getting enough, breastfed babies feed often in the beginning it’s not because you’re starving them it really is normal. Just keep an eye on dirty/wet nappies this is the best indication that your baby is getting enough.

Op please don’t worry about how much you can pump, it’s not an indication of how much milk you’re making and neither is feeling full, not every one gets that. Not being engorged could just as easily indicate that baby is draining your breast effectively. It sounds like she is getting plenty of milk from you as nighttime formula top ups only wouldn’t be enough to produce plenty of wet and dirty nappies. It’s a big mental toll at first being solely responsible for feeding another human and it’s hard to place trust in our bodies. I found a lot of the early weeks of b/feeding involve holding your nerve. After a few weeks when it gets easier the stress of it turns to amazement that your baby has grown so much just from a substance that your body has produced.

It will get better soon, the new born stage is over in a flash (although it won't feel like that now!). Also not all babies do it so don't worry about it necessarily happening if you have more children. DD didn't do it, DS did do it because I think he was a bit small at birth and very hungry!! Good luck xx

And also there may be a silver linning! When DD used to do this she’d take me right to the edge with 3-4 days of cluster feeding, waking every hour etc. But then she’d crash out for 48-72 hours and sleep loads. Often they’re tanking up for a major growth spurt which makes them extra tired and sleepy so you get a few days to recover!

Kellymom is a great site. I used to strip mine for feeds and then lay them on changing mat if they fell asleep then put them back on to make sure got a full feed. Feeding every 1.5 to 2 hours is normal and each feed could be up to 30mins so lots of feeding in early days. I resorted to a dummy as mine were so sucky. Took them couple of weeks to be able to keep it in (ended up using cheery style in.latex) but it was a life saver

Congratulations u have a normal baby!

You're doing amazing 👍

Also I would be afraid to give a bottle once a night so husband can do it and you can get some sleep. Nothing wrong with combo feeding and one bottle is fine imo

You're doing amazingly. Keep going. You're doing everything right.

I remember this stage so well. It is normal and it will be a distant memory very soon. Hang in there.

These messages are making me teary (In a nice way!) to know I’m (hopefully) not doing anything wrong and not starving my baby! Thank you so much to everyone who has replied. I think sometimes you just need to hear it’s all going to be okay!

Pump first thing in the morning during her first feed. Baby attached to one boob, pump attached to the other. Best thing ever for getting milk because your body will respond better because baby is there. Keep eating and drinking as much as you can. You are in that crappy stage of post partum newness but it does get better. I had lactation failure with my first - there was no milk at all. I FF and felt like a failure (at the time - not now because I know I did the right thing.) With Dd2 I faired better and bf for 5 months exclusively, then combi fed before switching to ff. I struggled with my supply with dd2, never had a lot of milk or had the 'squirt across the room' type supply. At 5 months Dd2 was almost permanently attached and anything I expressed went straight back in so I switched slowly and never looked back. Both of my girls are healthy, bright and happy. If you are determind to bf, check out the feeding forum here, the ladies are great. If you want to move to ff, just do it without any guilt whatsoever. You have done amazingly so far!

Solidarity! My little girl is three weeks old tomorrow and we are right in the midst of cluster feeding. She has spent the majority of the last 24 hours attached to me. It’s hard work, but I wasn’t able to breastfeed my twins, who are three, so I’m really happy to know that she’s feeding well. I tend to sleep on my side with her latched on, which has been a life saver because I wouldn’t be functioning otherwise. Hang in there. You’re doing brilliantly and so is your baby.

Follow your baby's lead

Cluster feeding as a newbor. is not only completely normal, but absolutely essential for growth and milk supply

Feeding baby around the clock is normal

8-12 feeds in 24 hours
Wet and dirty nappies

=

Well fed baby!

It's hard ,but perservere, breastfeeding isn't always like this, just in the beginning. By 4-6 weeks you will be smashing it. It will be worth all this in the beginning