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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to £50 school trip

285 replies

puffyisgood · 13/01/2019 16:20

Outer London state primary [lots of affluent parents but also plenty who aren't], yr 3 kids. Matinee of a [fairly popular, fairly new, child friendly] West End muscal. The trip costs parents £50 per child. The school coffers may even be topping up these contributions a little bit [e.g. to pay for transport & for helpers]. As I understand it the tickets were block booked in advance [of the trip being announced] for the entire class. As with all these things parents can announce that they're not paying, but with prebought tickets the money will have to come from somewhere. All the kids want to go of course. As it happens we can afford it easily enough but I know that plenty of other families can't.

I'm mulling over a stern letter to the head. Reasonable or not?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 14/01/2019 13:14

I’m sorry but if you can’t afford a one off £15 school trip for your child who desperately wants to go- maybe parents should reevaluate their ability to provide

It never is a one off though. We had a trip to Wales Inn September and the panto in December. Out of uniform every half term. Chocolates for the scho fayre. That was just the first term.
Thankfully that came to £23 but going by other schools it could easily be £75.

For one term. In nursery. For one child.

And even if people do think OK, it's all on me, I'm a shit parent for not pro idong my child with every thing they want in life, then what? You've still got a class split in half between the have and have nots. And youre still pitching cultural trips at those most likely to be taken by their parents

Craft1905 · 14/01/2019 13:19

What ringdonna said is that most people could afford £50,which is a whole different thing to being able to 'get it together.

It really isn't.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/01/2019 13:24

Of course it is Craft.

I cannot afford a new fridge so the one we have, which constantly collects water at the bottom, will do. However if it actually breaks I will HAVE to get together them oeny for a new one as DS has medicines which are refrigerated. So I'll borrow the money from someone, put in in my overdraft, absolutely cut back on everything, miss a bill payment etc. I will "get it together" and buy a new fridge. Which I can't afford.

Purplejay · 14/01/2019 13:25

I think you should leave the complaining to those with good reason op. Hopefully the school will have made provision for those who genuinely can’t affird it.

Some less well off parents may appreciate the opportunity for their child to go with school to something like this. That way, they will have an experience which their family could not fund for say 4 people at once.

I think as you can afford it, you should let your child go. It would be a shame for them not to be able to if their friends all are.

NutElla5x · 14/01/2019 13:27

Could someone explain the difference to Craft1905 for me please,I've got work......all those school trips won't pay for themselves you know.

SoWhat21 · 14/01/2019 13:57

I’m sorry but if you can’t afford a one off £15 school trip for your child who desperately wants to go- maybe parents should reevaluate their ability to provide

What on earth does that mean? What magical solution is going to present itself from this reevaluation? Will money suddenly start falling from trees? Better paid jobs materialize? Should they perhaps conclude that they give up their children to ss because they can’t pay for a school trip?Plenty of people provide for their children workout necessarily having spare cash for things like trips. And in any given class there are bound to be a few families who will struggle with even a small extra cost especially if is not well flagged. Schools should be conscious of this and it is absolutely right that these families should expect that sensitivity to their circumstances.

Unfinishedkitchen · 14/01/2019 14:18

I totally get that for some, £50 for a school trip is undoable. However, some people will complain no mater what the cost.

There was a mother at DDs school who always complained, saying everything was too much because she had three kids. This ranged from homework to school trips. As a result of her constant complaining, the kids hardly ever get to go anywhere now other than very local free places which I don’t think is fair.

There should be a balance, just because some people can’t afford anything, it shouldn’t mean the whole class misses out on culturally enriching opportunities. Maybe reduce the amount of trips or have a balance between free and more expensive stuff. Yes, not all the kids will get to go which is sad but it shouldn’t mean that none of the kids ever get to go.

InSightMars · 14/01/2019 14:29

NutElla5x No point. Craft1905 already gets it just chooses to protract the —goady fuckery— debate through wilful obtuseness and obstructionism.

Craft1905 · 14/01/2019 14:40

NutElla5x No point. Craft1905 already gets it just chooses to protract the —goady fuckery— debate through wilful obtuseness and obstructionism.

It isn't being goady to point out that most families can afford £50. If I wanted to be goady, I would say that those who can't should perhaps re-home the staffy, give up smoking and buying beer, and drop the Sky Sports. Grin

Deadbudgie · 14/01/2019 15:04

Thing is, no matter what “extras” a child wants for school there will always be those parents who say but we can’t afford it. Bring a bottle for the Faye, £1dination for wear you own clothes etc. But schools shouldn’t stop offering opportunities just because not everyone could afford it? I do think people should consider how expensive kids can be, more than simple feeding and clothing, think about the ability to provide for opportunities too when thinking about the size of family

SleepingStandingUp · 14/01/2019 15:13

@NutElla5x
Could someone explain the difference to Craft1905 for me please,I've got work..
I did, a few comments above yours. I'd like marks out of 0 and a star of appropriate colour pleass

Craft1905 · 14/01/2019 15:15

I do think people should consider how expensive kids can be, more than simple feeding and clothing, think about the ability to provide for opportunities too when thinking about the size of family

That isn't going to go down well on the SPRoM (Socialist People's Republic of Mumsnet)

00100001 · 14/01/2019 15:28

"I do think people should consider how expensive kids can be, more than simple feeding and clothing, think about the ability to provide for opportunities too when thinking about the size of family"

maybe they do - but circumstances change... ?

we were earning £80k up until DS was around 6, now we're on around £35, so things had to change. we';re not poor, but after bills, we have to decide what we're doing with the money - not just pay £50 for a theatre trip willy-nilly. if DS went on the OPs trip, we would then not be going out to lunch with family that month. Which isn't the end of the world, but, its a consideration.

MsTSwift · 14/01/2019 15:34

You are forbidden from saying such things craft! You have to agree if someone is going for a fourth dc that no it’s fine they can all wear hand me downs eat lentils and go camping. We stuck at two partly for this reason if it all went to shit we could still afford the nice extras

SilverySurfer · 14/01/2019 15:38

If you wanted to send a letter to the school because of your own circumstances, that would be perfectly reasonable but that isn't the case as you have said you can afford it.

As NoParticularPattern said earlier:

I’d be uncomfortable having someone who could easily afford the trip advocating for the likes of myself who couldn’t. I have my own voice and I can use it, I don’t like the idea of being used as an excuse to whinge at the school and to make someone else look oh so in touch with the world because they’ve realised that people like poor old me can’t afford it. It really isn’t your fight

So the question is, OP, are you assuming those unable to pay are incapable of communicating with the school ( NoParticular certainly gets her point across very effectively) or perhaps you are just indulging in a bit of virtue signalling?

SleepingStandingUp · 14/01/2019 15:47

Or @SilverySurfer OP takes a view that if she thinks something in her "community" is unfair, then it's everyone's responsibility to speak up, not simply go "we'll WE'RE fine so stuff everyone else"

MsTSwift · 14/01/2019 15:49

We had this dual income professional couple with million pound house and other child at private school going into bat against school full of righteous indignation at pupils having to pay £20 per term for a brilliant activity school could no longer fund due to budget cuts. I cringed for her tbh.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/01/2019 15:49

Craft you don't get it, how do you know most families can afford £50, just plucked it out of the air. No I don't want these trips not to happen, they should, however, for a lot of families, £50 for one trip is a lot and their child will not go. I think some people on here, are totally devoid of all reality.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/01/2019 15:51

I would never complain, if I can't afford it, or think it isen't value for money, my child will not go. There will always be that inequality, it is life, but it gets under my skin when posters say that most families can afford £50 for a school trip.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/01/2019 15:52

When you don't know people's reality, they might have had a big bill, or expense, and £50 for something like a school trip will not take priority.

InSightMars · 14/01/2019 16:10

Are you a timeshare or double-glazing salesperson Craft because you're coming across like one? Or an annoying small kids 'yes you are' 'no I'm not' 'yes you are'. Irritating and goady.

I can imagine going into a shop with you as the assistant carrying on like that.

Customer: How much is this item?
Craft: £50
Customer: Sorry, I can't afford it I'll put it back.
Craft: But you have 5 crisp tenners right there in your hand.
Customer: Yes, but I also need to buy groceries and put credit on my phone and pay my bus fare home with it.
Craft: But you have the money.
Customer: Yes, but I have to spend it on other things...
Craft: But you have £50 pounds and it only costs £50 pounds.
Customers loses will to live and shoots self walks away.

Gresley · 14/01/2019 16:15

£50 is a hell of a lot. I can go to the Royal Opera House, get the train there and back, and have coffee and ice cream on that amount.

Craft1905 · 14/01/2019 16:20

Craft you don't get it, how do you know most families can afford £50,

How do you know most families can't?

Craft1905 · 14/01/2019 16:24

There will always be that inequality, it is life, but it gets under my skin when posters say that most families can afford £50 for a school trip.

I know loads of families. Some are wealthier than others, some are not well off at all, but I can only think of one where maybe. £50 couldn't be found for a school trip. Now they might not all agree to pay £50. They might think it's poor value for money. But most families in the UK can afford £50. Many cannot, but most can.

Craft1905 · 14/01/2019 16:25

£50 is a hell of a lot. I can go to the Royal Opera House, get the train there and back, and have coffee and ice cream on that amount.

1959 wants their comment back!