To block this friend

[perfectlyspherical]

This friend:

Won't take no for an answer when I tell her I'm not complying with her wishes; becomes insulting

Constantly communicating; 12-16 messages a day, all about her with maybe a quick interest expressed in how I am

Leaves me voice messages between 7-10 mins long and gets annoyed if I won't listen to them, despite me saying I don't have time and having repeatedly told her I hate voice mail communication and couldn't she just text.

Cuts off other friends when they dare to voice a criticism of her. I've never dared tell her they might have a point.

Everything is always someone else's fault. Never hers.

Has in the past insulted me via text after I spent a whole day ferrying her around in my car

I'm constantly the one doing everything; driving her around to appointments and on outings, lending her tons of money, talking her down from emotional crises, etc. I feel more like her mum than her friend and she's two years older than me!

Never seems sensitive to me when I'm going through stuff. When my brother was missing recently and I was flying halfway across Europe to find him she was still sending me whatsapp messages about her flipping hair and nails and I had to ask her to stop filling up my phone with her inane crap (not the exact words I used) and let me concentrate on communicating with my family during that family crisis. I just feel I shouldn't have had to even ask!

Also on a holiday I had by myself recently she was in constant communication. I never got a break from her! I had to ask her to give me space before Christmas as I had started a new job, was very tired from family crisis and struggling with the new commute. She gave me space for all of 24 hours then it was back to normal service rabbiting on about herself.

I feel bad blocking her as she does have mobility issues and has been going through a lot lately (problems with pests in her social housing, exacerbating her mental health issues to the point that she was suicidal over Christmas and I was trying to talk her down from ending her life over the phone.) Mentally she's a bit better now but the housing issue is ongoing and I get daily updates about that.

I just don't have the strength for this. I'm still struggling with my new job, and want to try for another job I've been offered but need to do a lot of interview prep. I'm also looking at buying a house so the brother who went missing (we got him back, thank the Lord!) can live with me while he gets back on his feet (he had a mental breakdown-long story!) I also volunteer with a couple other projects that take up my time, have to try and keep up with other friends and family and also have some time to myself. I was trying to eat better and work on my hobby that I love, but that's gone out the window, I don't have the bandwidth. I just don't have the bandwidth for my excessively needy, clingy, demanding friend either.

It's like I'm retreating from her, trying to shelter behind my boundary wall, but the more I retreat, the more she tries to push it down. I feel guilty blocking her but I just...idk. Aibu?

l had a 'friend' like this. This is so familiar l'm wondering if it's the same person! She too had mobility issues, and a chip as big as a wardrobe on her shoulder.
Everyone was awful to her. But when l went out with her, l never saw it. What l did see was her reacting to people very negatively, inventing situations that didn't exist. Causing trouble so that she could blame other people. She'd fallen out with both her parents and her daughter. All their fault, of course. She also had problems with her neighbours, nothing she'd done, but they hated and bullied her.
l never saw any of that. What l saw was someone who was belligerent, touchy and extremely rude and entitled.
l think you need to do what l had to do for my own sanity, walk away. Block and go no contact. For your own peace of mind. She isn't a friend, she's an emotional leech. People like that will never see what's causing the problems. lt's always someone else's fault. lt's up to you if you tell her why, but l can tell you now she won't change. She'll just find someone else to hang on to, until they get sick of it too.

Thanks all for the replies. You all make very good points. I blocked her last night, haven't unblocked but may do in a week or so's time, when I've had time to figure out whether it's wisest to work through this or end the friendship. I do and have had my own MH issues so am sympathetic to her, but do feel am being taken for a mug in the amount of suppprt she expects me to give. TBH, we're friends because I feel sorry for her (up to a point, until I get compassion fatigue!) but being friends with someone because you pity them is awful really, isn't it? I think I can still check her 'last seen' on whatsapp to check she's physically ok (unless she's blocked me in return, in which case 🤷🏻‍♀️) Thanks all.