dotty, don't want to upset you, but are you sure it's a good idea to have a proposal from someone whose family have been nasty to you?
Being with my ex, and the nasty things he used to say, I thought there was something wrong with me, mainly because I didn't know that many men say all these disgusting things to their partners.
My friends/family all seemed to have happy relationships, and I regretfully didn't tell them about the vile things my ex said/did to me, because I was embarrassed, and he'd worn me down so much I believed the things he told me.
As well as my post above, he called me fat, ugly, useless cook, shit in bed, crap mother (because I asked him to help with our DC occasionally, and I apparently shouldn't have had kids if I couldn't look after them myself) , in fact, I don't think there is one disgusting word he hasn't called me.
I finally woke up to him when he turned violent, and it all came out to my family and friends, who were horrified. I had to beg my dad and brother not to beat ten bells of shit out my ex because of what he'd done to me, as they'd be in trouble with the Police
I so wish I'd have told people what he was putting me through, and I also wish we had MN so I could've realised that abusive men commonly say/do the same things to wear their partners down. I just hope that if there are women (or men) reading threads like this one on MN, they will realise it's not normal to be in a relationship where your partner puts you down.