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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding ring AIBU

32 replies

Chasnotdave · 12/01/2019 20:11

My DH last night said his sick of his wedding ring and want to change it. I really don’t want him to. However we are out with friends and they all think it’s fine for him to do it. I think he should keep the ring we got married with on him for his whole life. AIBU?

OP posts:
flowery · 12/01/2019 20:13

“sick of it” is very strong- is it unusual or very different to the usual plain band? It would be odd to be “sick of” an inoffensive plain ring.

EmUntitled · 12/01/2019 20:17

Was he drunk at the time?

I don't really see a problem with changing the wedding ring as its symbolic anyway. Any ring would still symbolise his commitment to you etc.

However saying he is "sick of it" is a strange way to say so.

Original poster
Chasnotdave · 12/01/2019 20:17

It’s not plain it’s triple banded bulky ring that matched one of his other rings. So he said.

OP posts:
Bambamber · 12/01/2019 20:19

My husband finds his wedding band to be too bulky and has never really got used to wearing it. So we got him a nice leather necklace which he puts the band on wears it around his neck instead. Would something like that be a possible compromise?

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/01/2019 20:19

It’s his finger and his ring so I think he should get a different one if he wants to. He can keep the one from your wedding and just wear a new one which he’s more comfortable with.

Thewifipasswordis · 12/01/2019 20:27

His finger his ring, it symbolises the marriage. It doesn't have to be the same ring to do that.

Jigglyjugs · 12/01/2019 20:30

My husband has managed to lose two rings to the sea, the first on our honeymoon! The one he currently wears is chunky and annoys him as he does a physical job. When we can afford it, he will get a new one. I don't mind, as I'd rather he had one he wanted to wear, which really is the more important thing.

GlossyTaco · 12/01/2019 20:30

I don't wear my actual wedding ring unless it's a special occasion , I wear a cheap sterling silver band day to day. I don't think it means you're any less committed to your marriage if you do this.

E20mom · 12/01/2019 20:31

It really wouldn't bother me at all

Pachyderm1 · 12/01/2019 20:31

I’d be a bit upset too OP. It sounds like he made a bad choice in the first place and doesn’t find it comfortable.

Would it be possible to have the ring melted down and remodelled into something he’s happier with? That might be a compromise you feel ok about.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/01/2019 20:32

Can his ring be trimmed and polished so it's not so wide and bulky? I'm sure a jeweler could do that.

Obsidian77 · 12/01/2019 20:32

Wouldn't be an issue for me, especially if it's bulky and uncomfortable for him.

shpoot · 12/01/2019 20:33

I think he should be able to change it. So yes, YABU

ItsJustASimpleLine · 12/01/2019 20:34

I understand your feeling and I would be hurt but he is the one wearing day in day out and ultimately he wants to replace it to retain that symbol of commitment.

If he felt that strongly I'd look into having it melted and recast.

MrsCatKins · 12/01/2019 20:37

It's his ring and his finger so I would say he should be able to replace it if he wants to. It's not like he's saying he doesn't want to wear a ring at all?

Thingsthatgo · 12/01/2019 20:39

Can you post a photo? I’m a jeweller and I can give you some ideas of how he could maybe change it without melting it down.

CurlsandCurves · 12/01/2019 20:40

My DH has barely worn his original wedding ring. Soon after we got married we realised that in his new job it would get ruined. So for our first anniversary I got him a cheap one to wear every day.

However this has now got totally battered and unwearable, so for his 40th I got him a titanium ring that should withstand a lot!

I know what you mean tho. It felt a bit weird at first that we no longer ‘match’ in that I’ve still got my original yellow gold and he’s got titanium.

Is there any way the original ring can be modified to suit him? If it’s big and bulky perhaps you could split it and you have half? My parents did that when dad lost his.

cheeseislife8 · 12/01/2019 20:43

A different one would still symbolise the marriage so it wouldn't bother me, but if you'd like him to still have the one you put on his finger on your wedding day, why not suggests he wears his current one on a chain around his neck?

DSHathawaysLover · 12/01/2019 20:44

It wouldn't bother me, TBH. My husband lost his first wedding ring within a month of our wedding (takes it off to play sport). It was replaced like for like, but wasnt the ring he was married with. I would love to change mine, I chose it based on my tastes and our budget at the time. "Sick of it" is a strange thing to say, though.

AnoukSpirit · 12/01/2019 20:45

It's his hand. If he didn't want to wear it at all that would be his choice too.

It's a ring. It's symbolic, yes, but that doesn't mean you get to dictate.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 12/01/2019 20:47

My DH doesn't wear his wedding ring a lot of the time as it incompatible with his work. He wears it the rest of the time though...

adaline · 12/01/2019 20:48

His choice, surely?

Mine doesn't wear his most days due to risk of damage at work. You don't need a ring to prove your commitment to someone!

Northernmum12 · 12/01/2019 20:50

I got a new one for Christmas- don’t see the problem?

pictish · 12/01/2019 20:51

He maybe means he’s sick of it because it’s bulky and not his current choice.

Jaxhog · 12/01/2019 21:08

Didn't wear mine for years as my fingers got too fat, although I did wear an eternity ring. DH bought me a new one this year, after 40+ years of marriage.

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