Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if dh cuddles you and dc in public?

32 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 12/01/2019 19:50

Or is this just seen as unmanly by him? Dh says that men who cuddle their wife’s/kiddies in public are the meanest in private. AIBU to ask if there is a truth in this?

OP posts:
Youshallnotpass · 12/01/2019 19:52

No that’s a bollocks generalisation.

Some men don’t like public displays of affection. Some don’t mind it.
M

Cheeeeislifenow · 12/01/2019 19:53

That's ridiculous. My DH and I aren't happy, but he shows affection to the kids.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 12/01/2019 19:54

My DH is a very loving and affectionate man. He holds my hand or puts his area around me when we are shopping or walking, he hugs me whenever the mood takes him including in public. He always did the same with the DCs when smaller but they would be embarrassed now ... so he sometimes still does it 😜. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

LagunaBubbles · 12/01/2019 19:55

Of course there is no truth in it! My DH is affectionate to both me and the kids, in private and in public.

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 12/01/2019 19:57

Yeah... I thought so. Guesthouse only says so so that I don’t get jealous at people who have cuddly and affectionate spouses.

OP posts:
Funnyface1 · 12/01/2019 19:58

There's no truth in that here. Dh is affectionate whenever and wherever and doesn't have a mean bone in his body.

cheeseislife8 · 12/01/2019 19:58

Nah thats not accurate. My DH is very loving, holds my hand, arm around me etc whether we're in public or not. I'm not a fan of too much PDA so no snogging or whatever but just gestures of closeness really. He's not mean behind closed doors at all... and no less manly for being a big softie

WonderTweek · 12/01/2019 20:00

My husband is affectionate both in public and in private and me and our toddler get lots of hugs and kisses. He's a bit more subtle when out and about (just being considerate) but will wrap his arm around me and give me a quick kiss. I am very cuddly with him so getting cuddles back pleases me greatly. 😊

PatchworkElmer · 12/01/2019 20:03

DH in public is the same man as he is at home- he hugs us publicly, yes. To be honest, I’d be a bit unnerved if he changed between places!!

Merryoldgoat · 12/01/2019 20:03

Complete bollocks here. DH is extremely affectionate to all of us all the time. His affection isn’t about an audience - it’s about showing us he loves us.

museumum · 12/01/2019 20:03

Mine has no issue with public cuddles but we’re not very hand-holdy or walk along with arms round. We both like our own space, holding hands or snuggling while walking just isn’t very practical.

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 12/01/2019 20:08

Same as everyone else, we’re not huge into PDAs but will hug, hold hands etc in public with both each other and DC, we will also give each other a quick peck (no snoging) out and about. He’s the same at home, even more so than me tbh! Never, ever mean.

funnylittlefloozie · 12/01/2019 20:08

My BF is affectionate in public AND private. He isn't overly affectionate in public, but he will give me a hug or a kiss, or hold my hand. This is a vast improvement on my previous BF, who was a lovely decent man, and who had a lot of feelings for me, but who would never touch me in public!

The current BF is also the kindest, most generous and caring man behind closed doors. I bloody love him!

dottybutterfly · 12/01/2019 20:13

Partner used too but doesn't anymore :-(

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 12/01/2019 20:14

I think that this is a bad sign @dottybutterfly

OP posts:
EerieSilence · 12/01/2019 21:01

Mine isn't affectionate to me in public but would be to DD (but more instigated by her). He's affectionate at home alright and much more but he's generally not the huggy type. I am a bit different but due to my fibromyalgia I something have an issue with human contact and touch (it literally hurts me to be touched) so he is also party bit careful around me as he doesn't know when I will react with pain and it's not like I wear it on my forehead.

Notgotajarofglue · 12/01/2019 21:03

Mines cold as ice to us all in public and private Sad

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 12/01/2019 21:05

@Notgotajarofglue You do not seem to be happy with your marriage Sad

OP posts:
Pachyderm1 · 12/01/2019 21:07

Don't have kids but my DH is very affectionate in public and private. He'll hold my hand, kiss my cheek, hug me etc. Not in an OTT way, in a nice way. And he's the gentlest, nicest person I know, so definitely not exhibiting a mean streak at home!

SoupOnMyTableNowSir · 12/01/2019 21:11

Yes, Dh is the loveliest, sweetest man and cuddles me, holds hands, and kisses me in public. No full on snog, no-one wants to see that Grin

At home, we all hug and I have 2 sons aged almost 16 and almost 13.

Every morning our sons give us a hug good morning, I get a hug on the doorstep as they leave for school too.

Drogosnextwife · 12/01/2019 21:14

No thats rubbish

Absiddy · 12/01/2019 21:19

Another vote for ‘rubbish’.

DH is protective and gentlemanly in private and public, with me, DD and friends. In fact he is very respectful and courteous to strangers too. I got a good one (after kissing many frogs!)

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 12/01/2019 21:26

Yeah. I feared it was rubbish. Dh is so cuddly behind closed doors but in public he never touches me or wants to be hugged... as if I had the bubonic plague.

OP posts:
Stormwhale · 12/01/2019 21:29

Absolute rubbish. Dh will often give me a cuddle or dd a squeeze and kiss in public. He is definitely not mean in private at all. He isn't one for extreme PDA, but a cuddle is fine!

titsbumfannythelot · 12/01/2019 21:51

Absolute bollocks. Your DH is a tube.